Dark Places
by JMLHCPKSfan
Summary: Kendall is James's new pool boy- but James is convinced he's a complete jerk. Carlos, his best friend, convinces James to give him a chance, since Kendall's dad just died and he's having a hard time in life lately. Turns out, there's more to Kendall than eyeliner and a bad attitude, and James can't get enough. Kames/Cargan!
1. The Pool Boy

James sighed, propping his feet up on the coffee table, hands behind his head. Maybe he shoulda gone to school today... Nah.

There was a knock on the door and he jumped up to open it.

"Dude- what the hell? Where have you BEEN?" Carlos asked angrily, pushing past his taller friend. "Everyone thinks you're DEAD or something."

"I just- don't feel like going anymore. There's no use in going anyway. I don't ever LISTEN." James said, rolling his eyes.

"Maybe if you TURNED UP the volume, you would." Carlos said, gesturing to James's hearing aids. Since James was a kid, he had been slowly losing his hearing. When he was 14, he got this tiny hearing aid that was invisible- only his best friend, Carlos knew about it.

"Well, I have a choice. Trust me- if YOU had a choice, you'd turn it down, too." James said smartly.

"I realize that you're a spoiled brat, but you need to THINK sometimes. Your mom's gonna find out somehow or another and when she does-"

"She's not gonna care." James said, rolling his eyes.

"Well I DO care. I've had to be with JENNY TINKLER for Chemistry for the past week!" Carlos raged.

"I don't WANT to go. It's useless. I'm not GOING to college. I'm gonna work for my mom's company."

"You REALLY wanna be the face for a MAKEUP company?"

"Ya- why not?" James shrugged, but there was a knock at the door, so he went to open it.

Outside, there was a tall blonde boy wearing a grey beanie, black hoodie, eyeliner, and ripped jeans. Under his zipper-hoodie was a light blue shirt that said 'Knight Pool Co.'

"Can I help you?" James asked, confused.

"I'm here to clean the pool." the boy said simply, trying to push past James.

"Woah- who the hell are you?" James asked.

"Kendall Knight." the boy said, pointing to the word 'Knight' on his shirt. "I'm in your English, jackass."

"Oh, hey, Kendall." Carlos said behind James.

"S'he your little boyfriend? Did I interrupt something?" Kendall smirked.

"NO." James said sternly. "It's called having friends. Might consider it."

"Whatever." Kendall said sarcastically. "Would you just let me in already?"

Before James could react, Kendall pushed in the house.

"Woah- I always heard you were a rich bitch, but I didn't expect THIS." Kendall mused, looking around. "What's this- 3 stories? Damn."

"Just go out back." James said angrily. Kendall flipped him the bird and exited the sliding door in the kitchen. James and Carlos watched as Kendall whirled around, looked at them through the glass, eyes wide, gesturing it the pool. James rolled his eyes.

"He's a dick." he said simply.

"Yeah." Carlos said, then turned back to his friend. "Got any food?"

James and Carlos sat down on the couch with sandwiches and Cheetos- which they WAY were not allowed to do.

"Think he's hot? He looks sweaty." Carlos asked, gazing out at Kendall, who was scooping leaves from the huge pool. James turned from the hockey game to look out the door.

"Whatever. If he gets too hot, I'm sure he'll just jump right in." James said, rolling his eyes.

"I'm gonna bring him a water." Carlos said, getting up, but by the time he was up, Kendall was opening the door.

"I'm done." he said simply, wiping his forehead.

"Do I... Pay you?" James asked awkwardly from the couch.

"Your mom's gonna do it next week- just like usual." Kendall smirked, stepping forward to stick his hand in the bag and stuff a handful of Cheetos in his mouth, then glancing down at his cheesy fingers.

"Catchya later." he said, wiping his hand on the white couch and turning to leave. James jumped up, staring at the orange smudge across the arm of the couch, dumbstruck.

"WHY would you do that?" he squeaked. Kendall turned and shrugged, opening the door and leaving.

"Who does that?" James raged, gripping his hair in frustration. "God, Mom's gonna be so pissed!"

"We can clean it up easy! Just let Rusty in and he'll lick it up." Carlos suggested, referring to Rusty- James's huge Great Dane that lived in the back yard.

"That'll just make it all worse." James sighed. "Google it. STAT. Mom'll be home tonight!"

They spent the rest of the day cleaning up the mess that Kendall made. All the while, James was mumbling and grumbling about what a jerk he was and how he should just get Kendall fired for what he did.

That night, Mrs. Diamond came in the front door at about 9.

"I'm home, Jamie!" she called. James jumped up to help his mom with her bag and kiss her on the cheek.

"Hello, Carlos." she said briefly, seeing Carlos there.

"Hi, Mrs. Diamond." Carlos waved.

"Mom- did you hire a new guy to take care of the pool?" James asked as he and Carlos followed her to her room.

"Not new. It's Bob Knight's son." she said. "But Bob Knight hit the bucket, so I guess his son's taking over."

"He DIED?" Carlos asked, eyebrows turned up.

"Ya- it's been pretty hard on the family, I hear." she said. "Now leave me alone- I'm gonna shower. Carlos, you're welcome to stay the night."

James and Carlos left, let Rusty in, lead the dog upstairs, and closed the door to James's room. Rusty wasn't allowed in the house, but James let him in now and then.

"Kendall's dad died?" James asked, sitting on the bed, the huge dog laying across his lap.

"I didn't know that." Carlos said. "I bet that's why he was gone all that time last month."

"Maybe that's why he's such a jerk." James said, absently stroking Rusty's ear.

"I feel bad..." Carlos said.

"We could have him over this weekend. I hear he doesn't have many friends." James said guiltily.

"Got his number?" Carlos asked.

"Pft- no." James said. "But I'm sure facebook does."

Carlos turned on James's Mac laptop and logged in, typing in Kendall Knight, clicking on the one with 3 mutual friends.

Kendall's profile picture was a black and white up-close one of the blonde with his black hood pulled up, eyeliner on his bottom lids, looking up thoughtfully at the horizon. He hadn't made a post since Christmas and he didn't have many friends.

"Here it is. 555-3883." Carlos said, flipping out his phone.

"What're you gonna say?" James asked.

"Gonna ask him if he wants to hang out tomorrow of something." Carlos shrugged and the line picked up.

"Hello?" came a woman's voice.

"Hi, is Kendall there?" Carlos asked.

"Sure. Let me get him for you." the woman said warmly and the line went silent.

"Hello?" Kendall finally answered, suspicion in his voice.

"Hey- it's Carlos. Carlos Garcia?" Carlos said.

"Ya?"

"Well, I'm over at James's house... And we were wondering if you wanted to hang out tomorrow at the mall or something."

"Is this some type of sick joke?"

"No!"

"Ya- fuck you." Kendall said coldly, then hung up.

Carlos looked vacantly at the cell phone, then up at James.

"What'd he say?" James asked.

"He said fuck you." Carlos said in awe.

"Can't say we didn't try." James said angrily.

"We can't give up. He's obviously having a hard time." Carlos said.

"Fine. Next time he comes to take care of the pool... I'll talk to 'em." James sighed. Suddenly, the door opened and Mrs. Diamond looked in on the boys, hair wet, makeup off of her face.

"James Dylan you get that dog out of here!" she said, eyes wide.

"C'mon, Mom! He's fine!" James pleaded. She just cocked a brow expectantly.

"Take him out." she said sternly, then turned to Carlos.

"Carlos, would you like some food?"

"We already ate, Mom." James said.

"Fine." she said. "Don't forget, Jamie. Put the dog OUT."

"Fine, Mom!"

"Night. I love you."

"Night." James said embarrassed.

"Night, Mrs. Diamond." Carlos said.

James never put Rusty outside. He let the huge dog sleep in the bed with him.

**I'll try to update every other day! I've got lots of other stories, but I write fast. Not sure if that's good or bad.**

**Let me know what you guys think of this so far! :)**


	2. Fight

**Thanks for all the reviews, guys! :) I'll try to keep this story interesting.**

James decided to go to school Monday.

"I'm gonna try to talk to Kendall today." Carlos said in homeroom. "His locker isn't far from mine."

"I dunno if that's a good idea. He seems pretty unstable." James warned.

"That's why he needs a buddy!" Carlos said as the bell rang. "Do good things and good things happen, bro."

* * *

"Hey." Carlos smiled on the other side of Kendall's locker door. Kendall closed the door, jumping at the sight of Carlos. He had headphones in, blasting screamo in his ears. He paused his iPod and gave Carlos a strange look.

"Why don't you just leave me the hell alone?" he asked angrily.

"I'm sorry, bro. I just-"

"I'm not your BRO." Kendall said.

"Why are you-"

Kendall shifted his books to his other hand and grabbed Carlos's hoodie, whirling him around, slamming the smaller boy into the locker.

"Leave me alone. Got that?" Kendall spat. "I don't want to be your BRO or your BUDDY."

_FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!_

"Dude, what the hell?" Carlos said in a panic.

_FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!_

"You and your little BOYFRIEND just forget it." Kendall said.

James was on his way to History when he approached a huge hoard of students chanting.

_FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!_

"Who's fighting?" James asked a cute redhead toward the back of the group. She turned to him.

"I dunno. Some Mexican and an Emo dude." she shrugged.

James pushed through the crowd in a hurry, just in time to see Kendall's fist pull back, aimed and Carlos. James lunged forward, pushing kids away, and caught the blonde's fist, twisting it behind him.

_FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!_

James shoved Kendall forward, pressing his face against the locker, heart thumping, adrenaline coursing.

"Get the fuck off of me!" Kendall said coldly.

"James, don't-" Carlos began, but was cut off by a deep voice yelling at them. Mr. Quincie had pushed through the crowd and was trying to pull James off of Kendall.

"WHAT has gotten into you?" James's favorite teacher asked him, black eyes blazing. "This isn't YOU."

"He- he was gonna beat up Carlos-" James said, eyes wide. The man was much taller than he was.

"There's no excuse for violence. We're gonna have to call your mom." the teacher said, grabbing his and Kendall's sleeves and pulling them along. "You, too, Mr. Garcia!"

* * *

"What was this all about?" The principle, Mr. Hallows, said behind his desk. James, his mom, Carlos, his mom, and Kendall and his red headed mom were in the chairs across from him.

"They're mocking me." Kendall said angrily. "BULLYING me, if you will."

"We are NOT!" James said.

"Look, Mr. Hallows. This was just a huge misunderstanding. James and I have just been trying to be his buddy, but-"

"I don't WANT to be your BUDDY." Kendall spat.

"I don't CARE who did what. I have no choice but to send you boys to alternative school for two days. We will not tolerate violence here." the principal said.

James's head fell back against the chair in agony. Kendall's mom sniffled.

"I'm sorry, boys. Kendall normally isn't the type to be violent." the skinny redheaded woman said. "But ever since his father's death-"

"MOM!" Kendall said, getting up. "They don't need to know every aspect of my life."

His mother's eyes went from him to the two other boys.

"It won't happen again." she said. Kendall rolled his eyes and turned to the principal.

"Are we done here?" he asked.

* * *

"James Dylan Diamond what were you DOING?" Mrs. Diamond asked angrily as they climbed into the car.

"Look, I was just walking down the hallway when I saw a big group of people hoarded around Carlos and Kendall. Kendall was gonna HIT Carlos, mom! I had to stop him! I don't even know why we're getting in this much crap- there WAS no real violence!" James said.

"If this EVER happens again, you're going to your father's. He'll scare you straight." Mrs. Diamond said. James rolled his eyes and non-chalantly reached up to turn the tiny nob on his hearing aids to turn down his mother's nagging.

He wouldn't mind going to his dad's. Walter Diamond was in the military for most of his adult life. He was pristine, clean cut, and ALWAYS on time, and VERY hard on James. Whether it was grades or his love life, Walter was very stern with James. But nonetheless, James loved his father and really wouldn't mind going to live with him if it weren't for the school change and no Carlos. Plus he would have to get up at like... 4 am even on weekends.

"It won't happen again." James said in defeat.

* * *

"Mom, SERIOUSLY. I was just trying to be nice." Carlos said as they drove in the small car.

"I know, baby." she said, reaching over to stroke his hair. "Some people just aren't used to such a sweet pea."

Carlos smiled and shook his head.

"I'm not gonna give up. Mom, Kendall's dad's dead! I know I'd want a friend if MY dad were dead." he said pitifully.

"Is that a good idea?" she asked.

"I dunno." Carlos shrugged. "But I'm a go-getter."

"I know." his mom smiled.

* * *

"Kendall, you can't keep pushing people away." Kendall's mom said as Kendall drove the minivan. "You need some friends."

"I don't want friends, mom. I'm perfectly fine by myself." Kendall said quietly. He was simmered down by this point.

"It's not healthy for a kid your age to be alone all the time. Wearing your dark clothes and makeup isn't either." she said. Kendall shot her a look and she shrunk down. Kendall sighed and pounded his palm against the steering wheel.

"I'm fine, Mom. Really." he said gently. "You and Katie are all I need."

"I know that you're still grieving... But you need to let people in BESIDES me and Katie." she said.

"Don't worry about it, Mom." he said, pulling into the driveway. "I go to school to learn, not to make friends."

"I just wish you WOULD make some friends. It would make me worry so much less." she said as they parked.

"There's no need to worry about me. Worry about Katie- she's into BOYS now." he said with a smile. Mrs. Knight smiled back and got out of the car.

Kendall had to admit- it was hard not to eat lunch in the bleachers, to be the odd man out when it came to partner work, or to be alone in the hallways. Girls never even looked at him- not that he was that into girls anyway. But he was sort of lonely. He had only his sister and mother, and that sort of stung. He knew that he had overreacted to Carlos's gesture and gotten him and James into a lot of trouble. HE was the bad guy, not them, the way he told the principal. He should probably apologize for getting them into so much trouble... But that didn't mean he was going to. He still didn't want to be their "pal".

* * *

"You kids just shut up, sit down and do your work. No monkey business." the cranky Alt. School teacher, Mrs. Fellman, said, sitting at her desk.

James, Carlos, Kendall, and all the other bad kids did their work obediently.

"I'm finished." Kendall said at her desk an hour later. The woman stared up at him coldly.

"And who are YOU supposed to be? Ozzy Osborne?" she spat. "Don't you know that makeup is for women?"

"Look, I just wanna know what I'm supposed to be doing." Kendall said impatiently.

"You're SUPPOSED to be sitting down and shutting up." she said. "That's the only thing kids like YOU should ever do."

Kendall, grinding his teeth, couldn't hold back.

"Kids like me?" he asked angrily.

"Makeup, ripped jeans, black shirts, hair in your face. BAD kids."

"I'm not a BAD kid." Kendall said dangerously. "You don't KNOW me."

"Sit down, punk."

Fantastic. He's stuck here all day with a cranky old bitch that hates him for no reason. Fuck. Kendall laid his forehead on the desk in misery. HE didn't deserve this- Carlos and James sure as hell didn't either. He began to wonder if he WAS a bad person. He couldn't face the little Mexican and his tall friend- he felt horrible. Great. He had to clean James's pool this Friday. This'll be fun. If he isn't fired.

**Review! :)**


	3. Getting Wet

Kendall slowly made his way up to the huge Diamond house. He hoped Mrs. Diamond was there to answer the door as he rung the bell.

The door opened and James looked at him blankly.

"I'm here to clean the pool." Kendall said simply. James stepped aside to let him in.

James wasn't mad at Kendall... Not really. He didn't have such a horrible time a Alternative School- actually, he thought it was fun. But he thought that Kendall kind of hated him for some reason, so he didn't say much.

Kendall stepped out into the hot sun to the fenced in back yard. He doubted James even ever used the pool- it was never dirty. He sighed and opened started to check the water and everything.

Suddenly, he heard a deep bark. So they had a dog? Whatever. He went back to his business, but had no time to process the running steps behind him before he was jumped on and pushed straight into the cold pool water.

He surfaced, confused.

"RUSTY!" James yelled, running out into the yard and grabbing the dog's collar as it barked at Kendall. "I'm SO sorry."

Kendall set his jaw, pushing his hair from his face and starting over to the ladder.

"That's a big ass dog." he growled as he climbed the ladder. The Great Dane was black and the tips of his pointed ears reached Kendall's bellybutton.

"I'm really sorry. He just doesn't know you is all." James said over the deep barking of the dog. It was jumping, but James easily held him back.

"Ya, well, got a towel?" Kendall asked.

* * *

James handed Kendall a hockey t-shirt and shorts. He looked up at the boy- his blonde hair was sopping wet and pushed back, his eyeliner running down his cheeks. To his surprise, Kendall just pulled his blue company shirt over his head and tossed it on the ground. James found himself staring at the pale chest with a slight hint of abs from pool care, he guessed. Kendall had a bit of a dark happy trail below his bellybutton.

"Take a picture." Kendall said, slipping the dry shirt on. James blushed and looked away.

"I'm gonna ask you a serious question." Kendall said, unbuttoning his dark jeans and dropping them, revealing green plaid boxers.

"Okay."

"Are you gay?" Kendall asked. "Cause I mean... Carlos is always here. And going to high school, you hear stuff."

James rolled his eyes.

"No. I'm not gay with Carlos." he said angrily. Kendall nodded and pulled up the dry jeans, which were slightly too big. He moved to James's mirror and saw his running eyeliner and quickly wiped it away.

"I'm not one to judge. I was just wondering." he said, fixing his hair.

"We've just been friends for a really long time." James said, offering the blonde his comb, which he turned down.

"HELLO?" they heard someone call from downstairs. James left, Kendall fighting the urge to snoop, following James instead.

James came down the stairs, seeing a kid he faintly recognized at the door with a stack of books in his arms.

"Hey." said the kid, waving.

"Um... Hi?" James said, puzzled. The kid closed the door behind him.

"Your mom apparently called the school. I'm here to give you your homework." he said.

"Where do I know you from?" James asked.

"P.E." the kid said. "My name's Logan?"

"OH- yeah. The kid who always somehow wins at basketball." James said.

"Well, it's easy, really. Just gotta calculate-" Logan stopped himself, laughing. "Anyways, this is all yours."

"Um... Okay. Not sure I'm gonna DO it, but-"

"Is that... Kendall Knight?" Logan asked, looking past James.

"Oh- yeah. OH- this looks bad, doesn't it?" James said, embarrassed.

"No way. You wouldn't cheat on Carlos." Logan shrugged.

"Oh my GOD! I'm not gay with Carlos!" James raged.

"I'm gonna go and... Finish up." Kendall said awkwardly, pushing past the boys and going to the back yard where Rusty was in his pin.

"Well, there's some pretty tough stuff going on with Geometry I hear. I can help you if you want." Logan said to James.

James knew that Logan was pretty much a genius. He was a Senior, although he was James's age, who was 17- a Junior, but by the time he graduated high school he would be well into college with all the credits he collected. He ALSO knew that Logan lived alone. His parents were God knows where. The poor guy did so well in school so that he could make some money in the near future to provide for himself.

"Honestly, I don't think I'm gonna do any of that work." James said.

"What? Why?"

"Cause I'm not going to school anytime soon." James shrugged.

"Why?"

"Cause I don't need or want to." James shrugged. "I've got my career handed to me."

"Oh, ya. I hear you're gonna be the face of some makeup company."

"My mom's."

"Is that what you WANT to do?"

"No way. But I don't like school."

"What do you WANT to do?"

James shrugged, thinking.

"I like dogs." he said simply, taking the books. "Anyway, thanks for stopping by. I'll call you up if I need help."

"Cool. See ya." Logan said opening the door and waving.

James sighed and put the books on the stairs carelessly, going to the kitchen.

"Mr. James, sir?" came a voice. James was done with voices. He turned to see Celeste, the maid. She was about thirty, Latino decent, and had a five year old and a husband. Carlos had a huge crush on her.

"Hey, Cici." he smiled, waving.

"You're going to do that homework, RIGHT?" she asked.

"No way."

"And you're going to school Monday, RIGHT?"

"No."

"James, why don't you REALIZE that you have SO much potential?" she sighed.

"Even if I DID go, I'd be so behind, no doctors notes for my absences, and I'd be talked about endlessly." he said smartly. "No thanks."

"Then why don't you have that boy come over and help you?"

"I dunno, Cici."

Celeste rolled her eyes and continued with the laundry. Being a mother herself, she hated to see James raising himself basically and watched out for him when she could.

"Be a pal and take some water to your friend." she said sternly. James rolled his eyes and grabbed a bottled water, sliding open the kitchen door.

Kendall was scooping leaves from the pool, listening to the dog go crazy over him, when James came out.

"Heads up." James called, tossing the water to him. Kendall caught it skillfully.

"Thanks..." he said, uncapping the bottle and chugging the whole thing.

"Do you ever use this pool?" Kendall asked.

"Sometimes, but it's a pain."

"Why?"

"Cause I can't hear when I swim." James said. "I haveta take out my aids when I get in the water, so I can't really hear much."

"You have hearing aids?" Kendall asked. James nodded, bringing a hand up to his ear, digging a finger in it, and pulling out a small device that was shaped like the inside of his ear. Kendall looked at it, puzzled, then walked over to James, looked in his other ear, seeing nothing.

"I'm a rich bitch, remember? I can afford them to be subtle." James said loudly because he couldn't barely hear himself. He put the aid back into his ear.

"I didn't know that." Kendall noted. "Interesting."

"I was born with bad hearing, and since I was young it's been slowly deteriorating. Doctors think I'll be legally deaf by the time I'm 21." James said.

"That's horrible." Kendall said, then snapped out of his sympathetic mood.

"I'm cool with it." James shrugged. "I can tune out teachers and my mom anytime I want."

"Why don't you go to school?" Kendall asked, continuing his work.

"Cause I already know that I'm gonna work for my mom. And I hate school." James said.

"I do, too. But I gotta go to college and make a living other than being a pool boy." Kendall said flatly.

"What're you gonna do?"

"I wanna be an engineer." Kendall said. "Pays good."

"Hm. Sounds pretty cool." James noted.

Kendall finished and left.

"Maybe... Consider.. Coming to school." Kendall said before leaving the door.

"Why?" James questioned. "Did you wanna hang out?"

"Didn't say that." Kendall said coldly, then turned and left.

**I like it. :)**

**Review!**


	4. He Can't Hear You, Bro!

**Wow! Thanks for all the reviews! :)**

"I got a call from your school today." Mrs. Diamond said at the French restaurant that she took her son to when she got home.

"About?" James asked, sipping his soda.

"About how you've been to school 4 days this month." she said sternly. James shrugged.

"You need to be going to school. It's the LAW, Dylan." she said, calling him by his middle name.

"I don't wanna, mom. I don't NEED to. I'm gonna work for you, remember?" James said.

"Well you don't need to be dumb." she said. "I called a tutor to help you with all your makeup work."

"What? No!" James sighed.

"You're doing it and you're going to school."

"Okay, okay. But don't hire some cranky old lady. I know a guy who actually offered to help me- I'll call him tonight."

"You better."

"I will."

"And don't let me forget to leave money for the pool boy before I leave tomorrow morning." she said. "I'm sorry that I didn't fire him."

"That's okay. He's not so bad." James shrugged.

"Do you get along now?"

"Not really. But we talk sometimes."

* * *

"Thanks for coming." James said, leading Logan to the kitchen table with the stack of books.

"No prob." Logan said, marveling at the chrome kitchen appliances and the huge back yard.

They started with Geometry. Logan showed him how to do all the problems and they were halfway through the third homework assignment when the door opened and Carlos casually walked in.

"James?" he called, wondering into the kitchen.

"Oh, hey." he said, waving at Logan.

"Logan Mitchell." Logan said, holding out his hand. Carlos smiled and shook his hand.

"Garcia. Carlos Garcia." he said mockingly with a laugh. "What're you guys doing."

"Mom's making me do all this homework and go back to school next week, so I called Logan here to help me out." James said as Carlos pulled out the chair across from him, next to Logan.

"Coulda called ME!" Carlos said. "I'm in Geometry."

"Ya. I'm gonna ask YOU for math help. OKAY." James laughed, setting down his pencil. "You guys want some chips?"

As James rummaged through the cabinet for chips, he heard Logan laugh at something Carlos said. They were hitting it off pretty well. He made his way back to the table, setting the bag of chips on the table.

"Kendall still work here?" Carlos asked, stuffing chips in his mouth.

"Ya, he does." James said, continuing the assignment. "I think he's kinda cool."

"Really? Kendall KNIGHT? The kid who wears makeup?" Logan asked.

"Ya. He's my pool boy." James said. "He started a little... Tussle with Carlos and I and we all went to Alt School. But turns out, he's kinda funny."

"Ya know... He always has headphones in. Teachers never say anything about it, though. I guess cause he always does good on homework and tests and stuff." Logan said.

"He told me he wanted to be an engineer." James said casually. Logan shrugged.

"Could happen I guess." he said.

"Think he'd hang with us now?" Carlos asked.

"I dunno. He talked to me, but I don't think he'll be up for hanging." James shrugged. "Wait- what day is it?"

"Friday. Why?" Logan asked absently.

"Crap. He comes to take care of the pool on Fridays." James sighed, looking at the clock. "Any minute, actually."

"Should I leave?" Logan asked, but as he said it, the doorbell rang.

"Guess you can't now." James said, getting up.

It was Kendall, of course. In his usual attire. He casually came in as soon as the door was open, but froze when he saw Carlos and Logan at the table.

"What is this, an intervention?" he asked coldly.

"Nah. Logan's helping me with homework and Carlos practically lives here, as you know." James said, putting a hand on the blonde's shoulder. Kendall shrugged off the hand and made his way to the kitchen. He stopped at the table, stuck a hand in the bag of chips and stuffed Doritos in his mouth.

"Oh, I have your money." James said, remembering the 150 dollars on the top of the fridge.

"Damn." Kendall mused at the cash in his hand. "She KNOWS that I only charge seventy-five AND your pool is never dirty, right?"

"Don't complain!" James said sarcastically and Kendall took the money and stuffed it in his pocket.

"Hey, Kendall. When you're done, you could come in here and-" Carlos began, but was cut off.

"Forget it." Kendall said flatly, going to the glass door to the back yard. Carlos's little heart broke.

"I've got another job at 6." Kendall said as he opened the door, and shrugged at Carlos.

* * *

James had invited Kendall, Carlos, and Logan over the next day- Saturday- for a little swim. Kendall didn't know how to answer. Sure- he'd like to have fun and make some friends, but did they REALLY want him there?

Genius Logan was preserved, yet friendly. Golden retriever Carlos was friendly, but too friendly. But calm and collected James was friendly, but didn't pressure Kendall into anything- never judging Kendall for his actions. James was nice to Kendall- maybe he really did like him. But maybe he was just a really good actor...

"I dunno. I'll stop by if I have time." Kendall said flatly before leaving. He really didn't have anything going on for Saturday, but this way he wasn't Stuck with his words.

* * *

"You think Kendall'll show up?" Logan asked as he sat on the side of the pool.

"I really doubt it. I told him to let himself into the fence, so I guess it'll be a surprise." James said, sitting in his trunks on the beach chair.

"Think he'll be a party pooper?" Carlos asked, laying on a float in the water.

"Probably. But maybe after a while he'll loosen up." James said.

"Seems like he could be a fun guy." Logan observed. "Once you get past the makeup and bad attitude."

Logan then slipped himself into the water, resurfacing with his black hair plastered to his forehead. He pushed it back.

"C'mon, James!" he hooted before turning to Carlos, flipping his float. Behind him was a sudden splash and he turned to see James resurfacing, pushing his hair from his face. Before Logan could say anything, Carlos was pushing on his shoulders, dunking him.

When Logan and Carlos were done dilly dallying, James was casually on the float, eyes closed.

"I'M GONNA GETCHA!" Logan yelled, swiftly cutting through the water to flip James.

James resurfaced, coughing and choking.

"I'm sorry, bro. I warned you." Logan said, patting James's shoulder. "Are you okay?"

James didn't answer, he just stopped coughing and smiled, punching Logan's shoulder.

"Do you have any beach balls?" Logan asked. James just turned and sat back on the float.

"James? Balls?" Logan asked, getting a snigger from Carlos. Logan poked James, a little annoyed that his new friend was ignoring him.

"BEACH BALLS?" he said, irritated.

James gave him a puzzled look, pointing to his ears.

"BEA-" Logan started, but Carlos punched his shoulder.

"He can't hear you, tard." Carlos said. "He's deaf."

"What? He could here FINE."

"No- he's literally almost deaf. He took out his hearing aids to get in the water." Carlos said. "But I'll get the beach balls."

James watched as Carlos explained everything to Logan. All he could here was the faintest drone of their voices. He couldn't understand anything. Carlos got out of the water and made his way to the big tub with the pool toys in it.

They were playing volleyball in the water, James with his back to the ladder, Carlos and Logan on the other side. James couldn't hear what they were saying, but he could see them laughing and joking with each other. He faintly heard the deep bellow of Rusty in the back ground.

Suddenly, Logan and Carlos's eyes shifted to something behind James, making James turn.

There, in black trunks and a black t-shirt with some band name on it, was Kendall.

"You made it!" James tried to say, but what Kendall heard was just meaningless mumbling.

"Huh?" Kendall said, confused. James rolled his eyes and gestured for Kendall to get in.

"C'mon!" Logan and Carlos chanted. Kendall rolled his eyes and sat on the chair. James got out of the pool and went up to Kendall.

"I came. Now what?" Kendall asked flatly. James's expression didn't change, he just pointed to the pool.

"You can't hear me, can you?" Kendall observed. James tugged on Kendall's shirt sleeve, trying to get the blonde to take off his shirt.

"You're gonna have to take me to dinner first." Kendall said, sitting back in the chair.

"He can't hear you, bro!" Carlos said.

"I know! Let's just see where this goes." Kendall said cooly. James ground his teeth and reached to the pool table, stuffing one of his aids in his ear.

"Get in the god damned pool!" James said loudly.

"I don't want to!" Kendall said equally as loud.

"We need another player in volleyball." James said.

Kendall rolled his eyes and got up, slipping his shirt over his head.

"Let's go, then." he yelled. James nodded in satisfaction and took the aid out, cannonballing into the water. Kendall descended the stairs of the pool.

"C'mon, man. Get your hair wet!" Logan said.

"His mascara'll run." Carlos joked, recoiling at the expected wrath of Kendall.

"I don't WEAR mascara, dumb ass." Kendall said with a bit of a smile.

**Next chapter'll be cute. Bromances a-brewin'! But I swear I didn't deceive you with the summary. We'll get to the Kames!**

**So question. It my April addition of Tiger Beat, there was a BTR poster and Logan had BLONDE HAIR? Then there was a pic of him and Carlos and he had light hair, too. I mean, it coulda been a play of light, but I dunno. It looked like he died his hair lighter. I mean, it looks really good, but I'm confused. James puts pictures of him and Logan on Facebook all the time and Logan has his same old dark hair... Anyone else seen these pictures? Did Logan die his hair?**


	5. Progress

"BOOM! Suck on that- LOSERS!" Carlos wooped as he and Logan beat James and Kendall at water volleyball for the third time. Logan and Carlos fist bumped.

"I'm tired of this game." Kendall said, eyes dark as he climbed up on the float and put his hands behind his head.

James was extremely confused when Carlos hit the ball out of the pool and nobody went to get it. He guessed they weren't playing anymore. He was glad- with Kendall's "I'm not gonna try- just to piss you off" attitude and James's handicap, it wasn't very fair on their side. He was glad to see that Carlos and Logan were hitting it off- sure, he loved hanging out with Carlos, but they both needed a break here and there from each other.

Kendall on the float, Logan and Carlos leaning on the side of the pool, he guessed the game was over. Maybe they were hungry or something. He didn't know. He couldn't hear shit- which made him angry. He saw their mouths moving and watched as Carlos cracked a joke that even made Kendall smile a little. He sighed and got out of the water, drying his ears and put in his aids- the world suddenly coming back to life.

"You guys want something to eat?" he asked the guys.

"Nah- I'm okay for the moment." Logan said.

"Me, too." Kendall said, emotionless.

"Yeah- I don't think James has any B positive anyway." Carlos said sarcastically. They all noticed how daring he was getting with Kendall.

"I prefer type O, thank you." Kendall said flatly with a tiny smile. He actually sort of liked that Carlos wasn't afraid what he said to him. It made him feel like he was one of the guys.

James sat on the side of the pool, dipping his feet in the water. His eyes wondered to Rusty who was laying pitifully in his pen. Poor dog. But he really didn't like Kendall, so it was for the better.

"What about you, Los?" James asked.

"Eh- if I get hungry I'll get it myself." Carlos shrugged. It was true- most of the time Carlos just walked right in the Diamond house and when he was over he'd just help himself to any food he wanted. He even liked to hunt the house for Cici, just so he could make her giggle a little.

"So, what do... Kids these days... Talk about?" Kendall asked awkwardly.

"Girls." Logan said.

"Okay. Let's talk girls." James said. Everyone was silent.

"Woooow." Kendall smirked.

"Who has time for girls anyway?" Logan said.

"I do. They just don't seem to have time for me." Carlos said sadly. Logan laughed and clapped a hand over his new buddy's shoulder.

"Tell me about it." Kendall said coldly. "They all seem to be too good for me- not that I really CARE. They're all snobs."

"I don't get that. I mean, you're not the worst looking guy at school." James said, confused.

"It's my style. Can't handle my intensity." Kendall smirked. "What about YOU, Mister Tall Dark and Handsome?"

James blushed a little.

"Well, if they don't think I'm gay, they don't know I exist. I barely go to school, REMEMBER?" he said.

"Oh yeah." Kendall said.

James turned his head to say something to Carlos, but saw that he and Logan were engaged in a poolside conversation- laughing and punching each other.

"You jelly?" Kendall asked casually.

"No- course not. Just wonder what the hell they talk about." James said, waving a hand.

"PROBABLY going out on a nice ice skating date." Kendall said on the float. Suddenly, Carlos and Logan had gotten up and Carlos was chasing Logan.

"The hell? Who does that?" James asked, confused. Kendall was just laughing at the absurdity of it all. Then he used his hands to oar himself over to the ladder and get out of the pool. He went to towel himself off as James approached him.

"I guess I should go." Kendall said, putting on his shirt.

"Carlos's staying the night- I dunno about Logan. You're welcome to stay." James said. "At LEAST stay an play some video games or something. I don't wanna be the third wheel."

"I'm no fun to be around, though." Kendall said with a wave.

"Ya you are! You're freaking hilarious." James said.

"Stop it!" Kendall said in a mock gay voice, giving a little wave. James laughed.

"See?" he said.

"Whatever. Is there pizza involved?" Kendall asked.

"Hell yeah!" James said.

"Okay, fine. I'll stay a little longer." Kendall sighed.

James order two pizzas at they ate them in the game room- fully equipped with an air hockey table, a ping pong table, a Wii, an Xbox, and a PS3. James really liked video games- which was good, because so did the others.

"WHA-POW!" Carlos yelled as he pummeled the others at the zombie game they were playing.

"C'mon, you little pussies." Kendall spat, biting his lip in concentration.

"You think you can take me? Bring it!" Carlos said.

"Fine! You 'n me. Right here- right now!" Kendall said darkly as his character hit Carlos's with a baseball bat. Kendall won the little duel.

"Whatcha gonna do?!" Kendall burst in satisfaction- making the others laugh, although he was dead serious.

"THIS!" Carlos yelled as his guy killed Kendall's guy.

Kendall's head snapped to Carlos- eyes dark.

"I will murder your family." he said flatly. Carlos's eyes got wide, because he wasn't entirely sure if Kendall was serious or not. Kendall just smirked and turned back to the game, leaving the wonder to Carlos.

"What time is it?" Logan asked.

"Eleven." James said.

"Hm." Logan said indifferently.

"So- you guys are crashing here, RIGHT?" Carlos asked.

"I have nowhere to be." Logan said.

"Kendall?" James asked. Kendall sighed, unsure.

"I dunno... I have to leave at some point in the night to murder Carlos's family..." he said, biting his lower lip. Carlos went pale. "But I guess I can sneak out when you guys go to sleep. I'm in."

"You're kidding, right?" Carlos asked.

"I dunno, Carlos. Am I?" Kendall asked flatly, turning back to the game.

"He's kidding, RIGHT?" Carlos asked James.

"We can chain him up and lock him in the basement if it makes you feel better, Los." James laughed.

"Are there whips and torture involved?" Kendall asked. "Cause that sounds very sexual- and I'd be happy to be involved."

"He creeps me out." Carlos said aloud.

Kendall just smirked. Carlos made it too easy. Of course he wasn't gonna murder the kid's family and of course he isn't into kinky sex, but he liked to freak Carlos out.

* * *

The boys entered James's room in awe. It was a huge bedroom with a queen sized bed, light blue walls, an expensive computer, huge TV, walk in closet, and a keyboard. Of course Kendall had been inside before, but he never really looked around. Carlos had been in the room countless times. Logan had never been in the room and he never saw such a huge bedroom or house.

"I'm not sleeping in a bed with anyone." Kendall said sternly.

"No way. We've got other rooms." James said.

"Logan and I'll bunk in the guest room." Carlos said excitedly, then turned to Logan. "It's got a trundle bed- we don't have to cuddle. PLUS it's got a flat screen TV and neon lights. It's amazing."

Logan and Carlos scampered next door to the guest room and James got out a blowup mattress.

"You mean you don't wanna spoon?" Kendall asked in a girl voice.

"I mean, if you want." James laughed. "If you're into that."

"Where's the bathroom?" Kendall asked. James directed him down the hall to the bathroom.

"James's house is crazy." Logan mused.

"His mom's quite the rich witch." Carlos nodded, pulling out the trundle bed. "She owns a cosmetics business."

"What about his dad?" Logan asked.

"Don't know much about him except that his mom divorced him when James was little and he ran off and married some twenty year old." Carlos shrugged.

"Hm." Logan said thoughtfully, flipping through channels to settle on Family Guy.

He settled in the extra bed, Carlos in the other, lights off, neon sign on.

"Carlos?"

"Yup?"

"Do you mind if I tell you something I've never told anyone before?"

"Of course not."

"I'm gay." Logan said quickly.

Carlos was quiet for a second.

"That's cool." Carlos said.

"Really?"

"Sure." Carlos said.

Logan smiled through the darkness.

"You're not like... Scared of me?"

"Nah- you're a cool guy. Now I AM scared of Kendall." Carlos said, making Logan laugh.

Kendall returned to the room with the air mattress fixed up.

"Your house is crazy." he said to James, who was flipping through channels.

"Ya- I know." James said, twisting his lips. The blonde plopped down on the air mattress, looking at the ceiling.

"Why did you invite me here?" he asked. James shrugged.

"Cause I think you're a pretty cool guy. And I like to see Carlos get all freaked out." he answered.

"I have a hard time trusting people. If you haven't noticed."

"Why?"

Kendall didn't answer the question.

"And that's why I tried to beat Carlos up. Cause I thought you and him were mocking me."

"Carlos isn't like that." James said, turning out the light. It was 3 am.

"I know that now." Kendall said. "But I thought he was, cause people don't just talk to me for the hell of it. They talk to me for answers to homework, to tease me, or because they feel bad for me."

"That's why Carlos wanted to talk to you. Cause he thought you needed a buddy."

"So it WAS charity."

"I guess." James said. Kendall sat up in anger.

"But look- I didn't want to talk to you at first. But then I actually got to know you a little. And if Carlos is just doing charity, I'm not. I think you're really cool- I WISH I could even come close to your coolness." James said. Kendall was silent. "I wish I could pull off eyeliner. I wish I was good at school. I wish I could come up with a hilarious comeback for anything. I wish I had your personality, cause you're so damn cool."

Kendall, sitting up in the bed, stared at the wall. He couldn't tell if James was being serious or just trying to calm him down.

"And I'm pretty sure that people tease you because they're jealous." James said.

"I used to not be like this." Kendall said quietly.

"What do you mean?"

"I used to be a normal kid- like you or Carlos. But... Things happened. Sad things. And I couldn't take it. But that me broke. He's dead and never coming back. This is the new me and there's no helping him." Kendall said.

"What happened?" James asked, then paused. "Was it... You're dad?"

"Doesn't matter what happened." Kendall snapped, laying down and facing away from James.

"Why are you so afraid to let me in?"

"Because if you know too much... You'll be Stuck with me."

"Like a FRIEND? What's wrong with that?"

"Man, you're just FULL of questions, aren't you? Just go to sleep."

"I didn't mean to make you mad."

"Wanna know what's wrong with having friends?" Kendall snapped, turning over and propping himself up on an elbow. "With every loved one comes a heart break. Abandonment, falling-outs, DEATH. I'd like to spare myself."

James was silent, not knowing what to say. Kendall sighed and laid back down, facing away from him.

"I'm tired. Enough with the questions." he said gently.

It took James a while to go to sleep- he couldn't get his mind off of Kendall's monologue.

**So I got more reviews, followers, and favorites on this over just a few chapters than my other story, which I've been writing on for like two months? Dang! :D I'm flattered! Thanks! :)**


	6. Surprise at the Knight's House

"You came!" Carlos said happily, punching James's shoulder at his locker. James laughed and rubbed his shoulder.

"I told you I was gonna." he said.

They walked together to English where they took their seats. Carlos poked James, pointing to Kendall, who was sitting in the corner, arms crossed, headphones in. James got up and went over to his desk.

"You're here." Kendall said not looking at him, pausing his music.

"I am. Wanna come sit with Los and I?" James asked.

"I'm fine here."

"Why?"

"Wouldn't be good for your rep if I went over there."

"My rep already isn't good. C'mon."

"I'm good." Kendall said, then his caramelly green eyes turned to James. "Thanks, though."

James shrugged and got up, returning to his seat.

At lunch, James and Carlos sat at their usual table. Carlos spotted Logan at the "Nerd Table" and waved him over.

"Hey, guys." Logan said, sitting there next to Carlos. He was wearing a checkered sweater vest of various shades of blue and jeans. His black hair was gelled this way and that- the way it always was.

"You're hair-" Logan said, absently smoothing down Carlos's hair, making Carlos duck away.

"They're destined to be together." came a voice as the chair next to James was pulled out and Kendall sat in it, setting his tray of gook on the table.

"Hey." James said, confused. "You're sitting with us."

"Ya- well. It's better than my usual seat in the bleachers." Kendall said, taking a huge bite of the mystery food on his tray. "You guys been to Spanish yet? Is the test hard?"

"Nah- it's easy. They all are." Carlos said.

"You don't count- it's your first language." Kendall said darkly.

"Is not!" Carlos said defensively.

"I thought the test was easy." Logan said.

"I'm pretty sure you don't count either." Kendall said, eyes squinted. Logan's eyebrows raised, then he turned back to his sandwich.

"I haven't been yet." James said.

"Weeeeeell fuck." Kendall sighed, then perked up the tiniest bit. "Hey- mom told me to invite you guys over for dinner tonight. I mean, it's totally fine if you don't wanna, but we're having spaghetti and my mom makes the BEST spaghetti."

"I'm in." James volunteered.

"This of all nights?" Logan sighed. "I'm actually going to visit my parents tonight."

"Visit them?" Kendall asked, eyes squinted.

"They're kinda in jail. I don't WANT to visit them, but I just like to do the right thing, ya know?" Logan said, taking a sip of his water.

"What about you?" Kendall asked Carlos.

"Can't I'm SORTA grounded." Carlos said bashfully. "Mom got pissed that I didn't call when I spent the night at James's this weekend. Sorry."

"Looks like it's just you 'n me." Kendall said to James with a shrug. James really didn't mind- he wasn't afraid of Kendall and he wasn't afraid to hang out with him alone.

* * *

"Oh, hello!" said a red headed woman who answered the Knight's door. James recognized her as Kendall's mom.

"Hi. I'm James- Kendall said-?" he began.

"Of course. Come in!" she said, pulling me in.

"Mom! Why wouldn't you let me answer the door?" Kendall asked, angrily coming down the stairs. He had a nice house- it even smelled nice. Kendall rolled his eyes and gestured for James to follow him to the living room.

"I was getting scared you were standing me up." Kendall said in a gay voice, plopping down on the white couch.

"Sorry- I sorta got lost." James said. "I've never been down this road before."

The boys later sat at the dining room table, a plate full of spaghetti set in front of them and an extra one at an empty seat.

"Katlynn Marie you get down here and eat!" Mrs. Knight yelled, shaking her head at James shamefully. "She's CONSTANTLY on that Headbook or whatever."

"Mom- FACEBOOK?" Kendall laughed, stabbing a fork into his heap of noodles, James did so, too.

"Whatever." Mrs. Knight waved. Suddenly there was a girl in the seat across from James. He had actually seen her around school- she was in a few of his classes, although she was a year younger than him.

"Katie, this is James. He's a friend of Kendall's" Mrs. Knight said, gesturing to James with her fork.

"I know- he's in my History class." Katie said, shoving spaghetti in her mouth.

"How exciting." Mrs. Knight said, then turned to James. "So where do you live?"

"Mom!" Kendall hissed.

"It's fine." James laughed. "I live down on Maple. The big white one."

"That one's YOUR'S?" Katie asked, eyes huge. "My GOD! That place is huge!"

"KATIE!" Kendall snapped.

"Well, it's really not worth much to me... It's just big and empty most of the time- my mom's not home but once every few weeks." James said.

"Why not?" Mrs. Knight asked.

"She owns her own cosmetics company, so she travels a lot. And my dad's gone- somewhere." James shrugged.

"I'll be sure to send Kendall over more often." Mrs. Knight winked.

"Are you done? Cause I'm SO ready to be done with this meal." Kendall said quickly, getting up and taking his and James's empty plates, cocking his head to tell James to follow him.

"I'm sorry about them." he said, setting their plates in the sink. "They aren't used to me having- people over."

Kendall caught himself before he said "friend", and waved James over to the stairs where they went up to his bedroom.

James wasn't surprised to see dark walls with posters of bands all over them. There were clothes all over the ground, the dark bed was unmade, and there were clothes spilling from the drawers and closet.

"Sorry about- all this." Kendall sighed, turning on the stereo. Immediately there was loud scream music playing and he turned down the volume a little.

"It's cool." James said, wondering over to the desk to sit down. On the desk were notebooks opened up to math problems, homework assignments, and song lyrics.

"So I didn't know you knew my sister." Kendall said, tossing clothes to a corner of the room to clear up the floor a little.

"I didn't know she was your sister- you don't look anything alike." James said.

"I know." Kendall said, plopping down on the bed and running his fingers through his hair. He was getting nervous, but also really excited to carry out his plans.

James got up and wondered to the dresser. On the mirror were pictures of a man who looked a whole lot like Kendall, but with shorter hair and more playful eyes. He guess that was his dad.

"That's my dad." Kendall said, coming up beside James.

"I guessed." James said.

"He had cancer." Kendall said bluntly. "I know you wondered. And ya. His death pushed me into a real bad depression- changed me a whole lot. He was my best friend."

"I'm sorry." James said quietly, turning to Kendall. "That's rough."

"So there you go. I've opened the gate for you." Kendall said, palms up in surrender. "Congratulations."

James smiled a little, looking down into those caramelly green eyes.

"It's hard for me to get close to guys." Kendall said, eyes dropping.

"Why?"

"Cause I find that I develop little crushes on them. And it scares me." Kendall said, black rimmed eyes lifting to James. His hands shakily moved to touch James's hips.

"Wait-" James said, shocked, jumping at Kendall's touch.

"No more waiting." Kendall said, pulling James's hips to his. James's heart pounded, Paralyzing him, blanking his mind. Meanwhile, Kendall was having second thoughts. Does he carry out his plans or act like it was all a joke? James's eyes looked quite panicked.

"Wh-what're you doing?" James asked, wide eyed. Kendall's eyes fluttered, unsure of what he was even doing. He wanted to kiss James. James was ADORABLE- tall, dark, handsome, and caring. He was his only real friend. He LIKED James- a whole lot. But James wasn't gay... Was he?

Kendall bit his lip in concentration, trying to figure out what he was doing.

"You're freaking me out. DO something." James suddenly said, eyes pleading. Kendall's courage raised for a split moment and he took that moment to stretch him neck and jam his lips into James's. For a second, James's tensed up, but after a second he loosened up, touching Kendall's stomach.

**Yup. That just happened. :) Review!**


	7. So Confused

**Thanks for all the reviews! :DD**

Kendall pulled away, stepping back bashfully.

"I'm sorry about that." he said quietly.

"I'm not." James said, a tinge of confusion in his voice.

Kendall's feet carried him over to James and reached for the taller boy's hips. James jumped and turned away.

"I gotta go." James said, slightly turning over his shoulder, then hurrying out of the room. Kendall went after him, but by the time he was at the stairs, James was gone.

Kendall slumped down on the stairs, head in his hands.

"Please tell me you didn't see that, Dad." he sighed. He always felt like his dad was there to watch everything he did.

"I did." came a voice and Kendall turned around to see his younger sister, hands on her hips. "And I gotta say- I never expected this."

"What do I do, Katie?" he asked miserably. She came over and sat next to him. "He isn't into me."

"Sure he is." Katie said, shouldering her brother playfully. "He just didn't know it til just now. And he's freaking out."

"Think so?" Kendall asked.

"Sure." she shrugged. "You're a real piece of ass."

Kendall smiled and shook his head.

"Don't mention it at school. Wait til Friday when you go over there and get him alone." she suggested. "Then he'll be honest."

"You're cool with this?"

"Sure. You're my big brother- I'm happy if you are." she shrugged.

* * *

James walked home slowly, thinking deeply.

He LIKED the kiss. He wanted MORE. And that scared him- a lot. He didn't want to actually be gay- that was a scary thing. But he liked Kendall, not only as a friend, but more than that now.

He sighed. What to do, what to do?

He really just wanted to talk to Carlos about this- but what would Carlos say? He'd accept him, right? He's his best friend. And Carlos will know exactly what to do.

James sneaked through the dark back yard of the Garcia back yard. If he wanted to talk to his friend, he would have to visit him in secret, since he was grounded. Carlos's dad was a cop, so it surprised him that they didn't have any surveillance.

"Carlos!" James whispered, rapping on the window of Carlos's bedroom. He strained his eyes against the darkness in the room and could make out a heap in the bed, although it was only 7:30.

"CARLOS!" James whispered louder, knocking on the glass. Suddenly, a head poked out from under the covers and a hand waving him away.

"Carlos, I need to talk to you!" James mouthed pleadingly. Finally, Carlos got up and came to the window, opening it.

"What're you doing in bed so early?" James asked, confused.

"Go away! I'm sorta busy here!" Carlos whispered angrily. James looked past his shorter friend to see someone getting out of the bed.

"Who is that?" he asked in a panic.

"No one! Go away- PLEASE!" Carlos pleaded.

"Kendall kissed me!"

"That's cool. Now go away." Carlos said in a hurry.

James looked over Carlos's shoulder to slightly make out a form staring at him.

"Who is that? Is she hot?" James asked, trying to see.

"GO THE FUCK AWAY, JAMES!" Carlos scowled. James shook his head and pushed Carlos away easily as he expertly slipped into the window.

"James!" Carlos whispered in a fury, trying to pull him away from the form.

James strained his eyes as he saw the form curl up in defense. He made out the silhouette of hair- messy hair. Not girl hair... James lunged for the lights and turned them on, seeing Logan there, wide eyed, on the bed.

"Wait..." James said, confused. Carlos pushed past him and turned off the lights again, peeking out the door, seeing nobody.

"Okay, FINE. You know. Now go away!" Carlos pleaded.

"I don't know anything." James said, holding his hands up.

"We're DATING, dip shit!" Carlos scowled, trying to push James out.

"Woah, woah, woah." James said, turning around, easily deflecting Carlos's pushing. "DATING?"

"Ya- whatever." Carlos said.

"Wait- did you say... KENDALL kissed you?" Logan interfered, pulling Carlos away and looking up at James.

"Ya. And I CAME here to talk to Carlos about it, but I can see he already has his own boy situation." James said uncomfortably.

"Date him!" Logan said excitedly. "We can go on double dates together and-"

"Leave this to the best friend, Logie." Carlos said, then turned to James. "Sleep on it."

"What? No!" James said, defensive.

"Look- I'm your best bud! And I KNOW that you think best after you've slept. So go sleep and we'll talk at school." Carlos said.

"Why? So you can make out some more?" James asked coldly.

"Exactly! See? You got it." Carlos said, patting James's shoulder and turning him to the window. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."

James walked down the dark street absently. Wow- it's been a crazy night.

He was kissed- by his new friend? Who was a guy? And he LIKED it. He wanted it to happen again. He didn't want to be gay- but he DID want Kendall.

Then he went to his best friend's house to find him in bed with Logan- his other new friend. And as far as they could tell... They were gonna do stuff. A lot of stuff. How long had Carlos been dating Logan? They had barely known each other for two weeks! Somehow he wasn't so surprised about all this. Carlos wasn't so smooth with girls, maybe he would be more successful with guys. Whatever he liked, James was happy for him because he knew Carlos would be happy for him if he dated a guy.

WHEN he dated a guy?

James was so confused. He wished he could turn off his hearing aid and not hear his own thoughts- however it didn't work that way.

* * *

"You okay?" Logan asked, lightly touching Carlos's arm.

"Yeah. I just can't imagine how school's gonna be. I mean... Are they gonna be all awkward around each other? Is James gonna be awkward around me?" Carlos asked through the darkness.

"It'll be okay." Logan said, pulling Carlos back to sit on the bed.

"Logan?" Carlos asked.

"Hm?"

"You don't think we're going too fast?"

"Who cares? I like you, you like me. We're teenagers- it's what we're supposed to do."

"You're right."

"Of course I am. I'm Logan."

Carlos laughed and shook his head.

"I'm glad you are." he said, kissing Logan.

Carlos never thought he would be gay. He liked chasing girls. BUT Logan was something different- he was smart and funny and made Carlos smile and feel all fuzzy inside. He was happy to be with Logan.

* * *

Logan was glad he finally reeled someone in. He had never had a boyfriend before, but he liked it. Especially since it was Carlos- sweet, cute, innocent, hilarious, playful Carlos. He wasn't entirely sure he LIKED Carlos like more than a friend, and the guy kissed weird, but he loved having a boyfriend. He loved to kiss and touch, and Carlos was willing- so why not?

* * *

Kendall decided that if he couldn't get James to take him, he'd be destroyed. Then he would have no friends and no body to talk to. Maybe he would just off himself- for the better interest of the world. The only ones who would even care would be Katie and his mom- and even then it would be one less mouth to feed...

He realized that James probably wouldn't want anything to do with him. Then what?

Kendall reached over and got out his phone. He scrolled through his contacts and selected "James".

It rung five times before James finally picked up.

"Hey." he said flatly.

Kendall sat there, phone to his ear, biting his lip. James knew he was there. The music was blaring.

"Kendall?" James said after a while.

Kendall shook his head with a sigh and pressed "end". James didn't want to talk to him. He didn't even want to answer the phone.

"Dumbass." Kendall said, pressing his nails into his palm, squeezing his eyes shut. "So dumb."

**This is completely random but has anyone noticed that in the BTR intro to the show, you know- Kendall sings and it shows his name and then James and Carlos and Logan? WELL when it gets to Logan's turn it's James's voice! Logan got screwed. -_- I mean... I'm all for James's beautiful voice, but Logan at least deserves credit for HIS beautiful voice!**

**ANYWAYS, I'm not sure which direction I'm gonna work with this stuff.**

**Are Carlos and Logan all cute at school and hold hands and stuff or is Carlos against it?**

**Is James into Kendall or does he reject him (at first)?  
~If he isn't does James pursue Kendall or does Kendall pursue James?! Or do they have an outside source? Are they still buddies?! **

**So many choices- so many possibilities! **

**I'd really appreciate your input- I'm all jumbled up!**


	8. Carlos Tries to Help

"Okay- so he just... KISSED you?" Carlos asked quietly in the middle of the empty hallway at school the next day. James stopped and looked down at Carlos, concern on his face.

"I went over for dinner, right? Well we go up to his room and he tells me all about how his dad's death pushed him into a deep depression. Then he just like... Pulls me to him and kisses me."

"D'you try to get away?"

"No." James sighed. "I was surprised."

"I think you just liked it." Carlos sang.

"Okay- a little. And that's why I came to see you- but you kinda blew me off. Oh, wait- that's Logan, isn't it?"

"I'm SORRY!" Carlos sighed. "Really- I am. We didn't even end up doing anything."

"We'll talk about that later. But right now, lunch is coming up. What do I say to Kendall?"

"Depends." Carlos said as they started walking again.

"On?"

"On if you want him to buzz of or if you want him to- not? buzz? off?" Carlos said, confused at his words. "Anyway, what d'you think?"

"I don't KNOW, Carlos. That's why I came to you."

"WELL, I think it'd be cute if you 'n me 'n Logan 'n Kendall went out on double dates." Carlos said, but got a dirty look and straightened up. "But do what your heart says, bro! You wanna be free to chase the chicks, so be it. You wanna be with him, do it!"

James sighed and shook his head.

"I dunno. I don't think he's my type." he said.

"Eh... Maybe. Maybe not." Carlos shrugged. "Logan's TOTALLY outta my league, but who cares?"

They emerged the English room and went in- class had already started.

"Where are your tardy passes?" the teacher asked. She was a pretty laid back lady and even cussed sometimes- she was only in her early 30's.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. R. See, we ran into a puma in the hallway and we had to fight it off. For the greater good of the school- I mean, we couldn't just let a puma run wild in the school, right? So we pulled out our swords, right? And we're fighting it off and winning and stuff when we hear the bell ring. We finished up as fast as we could, just to make it to your class." Carlos said smoothly, sitting down. The class laughed- Carlos always made up elaborate stories to explain why he was late.

"Well I'm glad you made it back okay." she said, rolling her eyes.

"You're WELCOME." Carlos said.

James's eyes wondered to the corner of the room where Kendall normally sat, but he wasn't there.

After class continued, he leaned over to Carlos.

"Where's Kendall?" he asked.

"Mmm somebody cares about the emo boy!" Carlos sang quietly. "I dunno. Maybe he's sick."

* * *

After school, James went home and called Kendall, but there was no answer.

"Just making sure you're okay... You weren't at school." James said after the beep. "Um... Call me."

* * *

Kendall wasn't there for the rest of the week. He never called, either. Finally it came Friday evening and James just sat there in the kitchen- waiting. Was Kendall gonna come take care of the pool?

7 rolled around and he wasn't there. James's heart sank as he climbed the stairs to his room, turning off his hearing aids and laying down in his bed, staring at the ceiling.

* * *

Kendall wasn't a coward- the way it seemed. He came down with the flu and couldn't go to school the entire week. He hoped James didn't catch it from the kiss... He wondered if he called at all since he was gone- his phone was somewhere in his room, lost and dead.

Friday rolled around and Kendall was completely better, but he just wasn't up for school. He decided he would march right up to James's house and demand to clean his pool.

He knocked on the door and waited, nervous. What if James didn't want to see him? He probably wasn't expecting him- he was an hour late.

Finally, the door opened, but it was Mrs. Diamond standing there.

"Come on in." she said. "I have your pay."

After collecting his money, he went to the back yard- James nowhere in sight.

He was putting the supplies away when he was done with the job when he was almost knocked to the ground in a hug. He smelled a familiar cologne and twisted away to see James standing there.

"Where the hell were you?" James asked, concerned.

"I had the flu." Kendall said quietly, avoiding James's eyes.

"I called you."

"I have no idea where my phone is." Kendall explained.

"We need to talk."

"Yeah, yeah." Kendall grumbled. James pulled him over to a pool chair and sat down in the other one. It was getting dark and warm.

"Did you know that Carlos and Logan really are dating now?" James asked, hugging his knees.

Kendall laughed a little, shaking his head.

"Called it." he said.

James was silent, not knowing what to say.

"You're not gay. You're completely hetero." Kendall said simply.

"I dunno." James shrugged. "I mean... I liked the way you kissed me."

"Really? You did?" Kendall asked, perking up, then acting cool. "What d'ya mean?"

"I MEAN I wanna kiss you again."

Kendall stared at James, confused.

"And... ?" Kendall asked.

"I dunno." James shrugged. "Just thought you should know. That I don't hate you."

It was dark outside now and James's mom opened the glass door.

"James? It's time to come in." she called.

"Kay, Mom." James called back, then she disappeared.

"Wanna... Come in?" James asked, smiling a little.

"I'd like to... But I gotta get home." Kendall said, getting up.

"Oh." James said, a little disappointed. Honestly, he just wanted to kiss Kendall some more. He knew it was wrong to do that but not necessarily want to BE with Kendall... He would have to decide soon.

Kendall was extremely confused... James was telling him that he liked him... But avoiding the topic of dating.

"I'm confused-" Kendall admitted.

"Me, too." James said simply. "But who cares?"

"But-"

"Don't worry about it." James said. "Wanna get together this weekend?"

"You're a dick." Kendall scowled, stealing away. James caught him by the arm.

"What?"

"You're mocking me. You're kidding." Kendall said, taking his arm back.

"Why are you so untrusting?" James asked, confused. "I thought we were past this."

"You're James. You're WAAAAY too good for me. You aren't gay, you never will be." Kendall said smartly.

James, fed up of Kendall being so reserved, simply pulled the blonde to him and kissed him right on the lips. When he pulled away, Kendall's eyes were still closed and he opened them in surprise.

"Well. Okay." Kendall said. "That was... Nice."

**Gah! Sorry, guys. I was trying to get a chapter out before tomorrow because I'm having friends over and I won't be able to write. This chapter sucked.. But I need a totally awesome idea for how they kick off their relationship. I know you guys are full of em. :)**

**Review?**


	9. Date Night

**Thank you guys for the reviews! :) I really do appreciate them! Accidentally posted the last chapter in Coming Back to Life (which is a completely hetero story) and everyone was like WAAAH? lol**

"I'm gonna cook for you." Carlos said in Logan's house that weekend.

"All I have is stuff for spaghetti." Logan said.

"Do you not like spaghetti?" Carlos asked.

"No, I like it."

"Good. Spaghetti it is."

"I'm sorry the house is a mess.. Haven't really had time to clean." Logan said in disgust as Carlos filled a pot with water.

"It's okay. If I lived all by myself I would never clean either." Carlos shrugged with a friendly smile.

"So what ever happened between Kendall and James?" Logan asked, sitting on the counter.

"They're also having date night tonight." Carlos said smartly. "But I think James is still confused."

"Can't blame him." Logan shrugged. "I would be, too."

* * *

Kendall kept peeking over his menu to look at James. He looked nice in his red flannel shirt and neatly combed hair.

"How about we just get a medium supreme?" James asked. "D'you like supreme?"

"Ya- except no onions." Kendall said, twisting his nose in disgust. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine! I don't really like onions either. See? We're learning about each other." James said with a charming smile.

Kendall was beginning to actually believe that MAYBE James was serious about all this. He really hoped.

"So you look really great tonight." Kendall said bashfully, putting his menu down

"Oh, c'mon. I dress like this like... Every day. You're the one that's being all exotic." James said, rolling his eyes. Kendall glanced down at his dark jeans and black and red flannel. "You're the one that looks nice."

"Oh, you." Kendall said in his good old gay guy voice with a wave.

"Can't really use that voice anymore." James laughed. "It's your reality."

"Maybe I should just talk like that all the time, then. Would you hate me?" Kendall laughed.

"Maybe a little." James said sarcastically as the waitress came up to them. James ordered, feeling weird to not flirt with the waitress for once.

"So I shaved for you. Can ya tell?" Kendall asked, making a face and touching his chin.

"Didn't know you hada beard." James laughed. "Are you SURE it exists?"

"Oh, ya. It was just blonde, so ya can't see. But it was almost long enough to braid." Kendall laughed.

* * *

"This is actually really good." Logan mused after swallowing the noodles in his mouth.

"You seem surprised." Carlos said, mouth full of spaghetti, making Logan giggle.

"I just didn't know you could cook." Logan said.

"Oh, yeah. Believe it or not, it's something me and my mom do." Carlos said childishly with a wink.

"Mama's boy?" Logan observed.

"Well, don't get me wrong. I'm super close with my dad, too. We like to do stuff like hike and- I'm gonna shut up now." Carlos said, embarrassed. Logan didn't wanna hear about his happy life with his parents, he was sure.

"It's okay." Logan said, shrugging. "I was never close with my parents."

Carlos didn't say anything.

"They're God knows where doing God knows what. They don't care about me, I don't care about them." Logan said.

"Don't you ever get lonely?" Carlos asked.

"I used to. But now I have you." Logan said, realizing Carlos's importance for the first time.

"Awe." Carlos laughed sarcastically.

"Wanna watch a movie?" Logan asked.

"Super slasher film?" Carlos asked excitedly.

"If you want. But I was thinking more like a romantic comedy."

"Chick flick?" Carlos asked, a little let down.

"If you don't wanna..."

"No- I'm down. Let's do it." Carlos said with a smile.

They sat on Logan's old couch watching Dear John, Logan in Carlos's arms.

"Okay... So this movie kinda sucks." Logan sighed.

"It wouldn't be so bad if we weren't two teenaged boys." Carlos said.

"Let's go find something else to do." Logan said, turning off the movie and pulling Carlos up.

* * *

"Thanks. For dinner." Kendall said as they walked down the sidewalk. They were in the city and they had no idea where they were going, but what did it matter?

"No problem." James laughed. "Hey- are you going to the bonfire next weekend?"

"I dunno... I wasn't planning on it." Kendall said, then realized what was going on. "Unless you wanted to go."

"Well, whatever. I just thought it'd be fun. Carlos and I were supposed to go, but I can see he's gonna blow me off for Logan." James sighed. "And you aren't very social with the people at school- maybe it'd be good for you."

"How could I be social? I'm the emo nerd kid in the back of the room. OH- and now they have something ELSE to tease me about. Now I'm the emo nerd GAY kid. Forgot there for a second." Kendall said venomously.

"So you don't wanna go." James said.

"Well, depends. Are you ASKING me to go?"

"Duh."

"Well then.. Yeah. Sure- I'll go with you." Kendall said.

"Cool." James smiled. He then casually swooped down to lace his fingers with Kendall's.

Kendall's breath caught as he looked up at James, startled.

"I'm sorry." James said awkwardly, letting go.

"No- it just surprised me is all." Kendall said, taking James's hand again.

* * *

"Woah-" Carlos said, gently pushing Logan away and buttoning his pants up again.

"What?" Logan asked.

"Look- I'm all for cuddling and making out and stuff... But- Look, I've never had sex with a GIRL. And I don't even know how- how THIS- would even work." Carlos said. "I mean... Who's dick is going where?"

Logan laughed and shook his head.

"I dunno. I figured it'd just come naturally." Logan shrugged.

"Oh- I don't cum naturally. I need some help." Carlos whispered. Logan laughed and this and fell back on the bed.

"I didn't mean THAT." he said with a smile.

"I know." Carlos laughed, poking Logan's stomach.

"You just like to be adorable?"

"It's what I do." Carlos shrugged innocently, then his eye caught the alarm clock on beside the bed.

"Fuck! I should be HOME by now!" he said, jumping up.

"That clock's five minutes late." Logan stated.

"Great. So I have negative six minutes to get home." Carlos said, hurrying out of the room.

"See you Monday." Logan said, confused, as Carlos reached the front door.

"Ya. I'll call you. Bye." Carlos smiled, pecking Logan on the lips and running out the door.

* * *

"D'you wanna... Come in or something?" James asked at his front porch.

"Nah- I only have ten minutes to get home. Katie's the only one that knows that this was a- a DATE- persay." Kendall said. "And I'm pretty antsy to get outta these clothes."

"Okay." James laughed and stepped closer, bending his neck to lock his lips with Kendall's.

"I'll see you at school." Kendall said, still a little shocked at the kiss, the way he was the past two times.

"Okay. Bye." James said, waving and going into his house.

**Next chapter's gonna be cute! **


	10. Paralyzed

Kendall wasn't sure if James considered him his boyfriend or if he should consider James his boyfriend. Sure- it sounded nice, but he had no idea if James saw him that way yet. The taller guy always walked him to his classes, standing closer than usual, but never kissing him at school. Maybe James was unsure about titles, too.

"You guys wanna come to my place and we can drive to the bonfire?" Kendall asked quietly at lunch. Okay, so he sorta considered Carlos and Logan close acquaintances. And although he'd much rather just drive James there, he knew that Carlos and James were sort of growing apart because of him and he felt horrible about it. They were best friends before he came along, but nowadays they rarely ever spent time together.

"Yeah- that'd be great, actually." Logan said with a nod. "We'll walk down there, say... five?"

Kendall shrugged and nodded.

Logan smiled at Carlos and put a hand on his boyfriend's leg.

"Uh- I'm gonna go throw this away. Right back!" Carlos said, jumping up and grabbing his tray.

Carlos has been avoiding Logan's affection at school all week. Like Monday and Wednesday when he tried to hold his hand, Carlos pulled his hand away nervously. Then Logan tried to kiss Carlos's before 5th period and Carlos quickly pulled away. "C'mon, babe. There're people watching." Carlos had said before disappearing into Geometry. Carlos would pretty much ONLY let Logan stand close to him at school. That's it.

"What'd you do?" James asked, confused. "Haven't seen him the jumpy in... Ever."

"I don't understand why he doesn't want my to TOUCH him at school!" Logan said, almost angry. "All I did was touch his leg!"

James shrugged.

"He probably is just scared of people knowing about you guys." Kendall said, then found a way to drop a hint subtly to James. "Some people just can't handle the risk of not being accepted."

James received the hint, but not the right one. He thought that Kendall was insinuating that James was a little pussy and couldn't handle taking a risk. Although this wasn't what Kendall meant at all. Kendall was trying to say that HE wasn't afraid to take a risk.

* * *

"You're early." Kendall said as he opened the door for James. He wasn't near ready for the bonfire- he was still redoing his eyeliner and was yet to change his shirt.

"Sorry- I'll come back later." James said, turning. He was astonished- he had never seen Kendall without eyeliner on- and the color of his eyes was much more intense than he thought.

"No! It's okay, c'mon." Kendall said, letting the taller boy in.

"You're not supposed to see me this way." Kendall said as they climbed the stairs.

"It's okay. I never knew how pretty your eyes were." James said sweetly. Kendall made a face and waved off the compliment.

James sat on the bed as the screamo music played and Kendall did his eyeliner in the bathroom. He wondered why Kendall even wore eyeliner- sure, it was sexy, but isn't makeup for girls? He turned and picked up a yellow notebook from the desk and opened it. "Paralyzed" was the heading of the page he flipped to.

"You- you walked into the room. On a Friday afternoon. That's when I saw you for the first time. And I was paralyzed.

I had a million things to say. But none of them came out that day. Cause I was never one of those guys- that always had the best lies.

Time stops tickin' my hands keep shakin'- and you don't even know that-"

It read, but suddenly Kendall came into the room.

"What're you doing?" Kendall asked, coming over to snatch the notebook away.

"Is that a song? I like it." James said.

Kendall wanted to tell James that he wrote that song for him, but thought it would come across as cheesy.

"It's weird- WE met on a Friday afternoon." James said simply, then laughed. "D'you used to have a little crush on someone?"

"The song's based on you, asshole." Kendall said flatly. James gave a charming smile and nodded.

"Wanna sing it for me?" he asked.

"Maybe later. I gotta get dressed." Kendall said, then went over to his closet, keeping James's shirt color in account. James was wearing a simple light blue t-shirt and dark jeans.

Kendall finally emerged from the closet with a black t-shirt in hand.

"You're gonna wear that?" James asked, getting up.

"Yeah?"

"I'll lose you in the darkness!" James said, taking the shirt and going to the closet.

"This one." James said, holding out a medium-toned red t-shirt.

"I haven't worn that in like... months." Kendall said, taking the shirt.

"You ALWAYS wear black. Change it up?" James pouted. "For me?"

Kendall sighed and took off his shirt right there. Okay- so he wasn't nearly as build as James or nearly as tan, but he didn't really care. He slipped the red shirt on and immediately felt like a pansy.

"I feel dumb." he said flatly.

"But you look fantastic." James said with a smile, leaving Kendall dizzy.

"So how about that song?" James asked, plopped down on the bed.

"I dunno." Kendall answered doubtfully.

"Please?" James pleaded, wide eyed. Kendall sighed and picked up his black electric guitar and plugged it into the amp and sat next to James.

"Song's not finished, just putting it out there." Kendall said as he began strumming.

He sang what he had so far, wich was only a verse and a chorus.

"So- I paralyze you?" James asked.

"A little." Kendall said.

"What about- when I do this?" James said quietly, leaning in to lock lips with Kendall.

"ESPECIALLY when you do that." Kendall said, biting his lip.

* * *

The bonfire was heald at Jenny Tinkler's house. Her parents were out of town and she had a huge back yard with a fir, so she basically invited the whole high school over for a big party.

Logan and Carlos sat on a log beside the fire.

"Awe- sorry. I burnt it." Logan apologized, holding up his black marshmallow that he was making for Carlos.

"That's okay. I like em burnt." Carlos smiled, plucking the marshmallow off of the stick and shoving it in his mouth.

Logan giggled as he used his thumb to wipe off the goo that dripped onto Carlos's chin.

"You're a mess." he said, shaking his head and smiling.

"A hot mess." Carlos joked.

"D'you want anything to drink?" Kendall asked James. They were leaning against a tree near the fire, talking about random stuff.

"Could you get me a Coke?" James responded.

"What- no beer in a red Solo cup?" Kendall half-joked.

"I doubt Jenny would allow alcohol, honestly." James smiled. Kendall went to the house to get the drinks and James moved to sit next to Carlos, intentionally smooshing him into Logan.

"Asshole!" Carlos said, then grinned.

"Actually, second time I've been called that today." James noted.

"Cause it's true." Carlos sang.

Kendall went into the house, seeing teenagers making out every which way. He found his way to the refridgerator and got two cans of Cokes.

"Hey! Emo!" he heard someone yell. He turned and saw Vince Burns and his gang of hockey jocks staring down at him.

"I'm assuming you're talking to me." Kendall retorted.

"Ya- the HELL are you doing here?"

"I wasn't aware that I wasn't ALLOWED to come to social events." Kendall said, rolling his eyes.

"Here with your BOYFRIEND?" one of the jocks teased.

"Actually, yeah." Kendall nodded. "So I'd like to be on my way. Nice chit-chat." With that, he turned and left. Was it wrong to say that James was his boyfriend? Was it wrong to talk to them at all?

"You moved on me." Kendall said, sitting on the log next to James and handing him his can of Coke.

"Sorry." James said opening the can and taking a sip.

The next ten minutes consisted of Kendall, James, Logan, and Carlos talking randomly. Finally, a girl under her boyfriend's arm suggested they tell ghost stories.

"D'you wanna relocate?" Kendall asked softly in James's ear.

"Scared?" James smirked.

"NO. I just don't think this is necessary. Let's go." Kendall said, taking James's hand and pulling him back to their tree.

"Check it!" James said excitedly as he took hold of a branch and placed his shoe on the knot of the trunk, pulling himself up into the tree and disappearing. Kendall tried to see into the tree, but saw nothing.

"C'mon!" James whispered. "It's so cool up here!"

Kendall wasn't so sure. He was never good at anything physical- he didn't wanna make a fool of himself. Suddenly, a hand came down.

"C'mon!" James repeated and Kendall took the hand and climbed up. James was a sterdly ladder.

Kendall saw that it was pretty cool up in the tree. There were multiple limbs and the only light was that from the fire. James sat on a limb, feet hanging from it, and he patted the branch in front of him, which was slightly elevated. Kendall carefully climbed over and sat.

"Look, Kendall. I dunno what kinda guy that you prefer, but I know I gotta put myself forward..." James said nervously.

"Are you a secret rapper?" Kendall asked, eyes squinted.

"Maybe." James laughed. "But... Anyway... See, I think I got the kinda love that you deserve. Cause you deserve the best kind."

"What're you getting at?" Kendall asked, puzzled.

"I don't care... At ALL... What you've done before. All I REALLY want is to- to be your boyfriend." James murmered.

"_Creak, creak, creak._" said Helen in her creepiest voice as she told the scary story. Carlos shivered, looking behind him. He was creeped out- they were in the middle of the woods with only fire as light, a good fifty feet downhill from the house. He shoulda taken Logan somewhere else before they even started so that Logan wouldn't know he was a little baby.

"It's just a story." Logan murmered into Carlos's ear.

"I know!" Carlos whispered back.

"You're looking really freeked out." Logan giggled.

"_The kid hid in the closet, listening to the footsteps come closer and closer- until finally-_"

"GAAH!" someone yelled, gripping Carlos's ribs and making the boy jump and almost pee himself. He turned to see Vince Burns there with his weirdos.

"The hell?" Carlos raged, feeling embarrassed in front of his boyfriend.

"Oh- what's this?" Vince laughed, seeing Logan and Carlos's hands entwined together. "We gotta coupla faggots!"

Logan watched as the taller boy made Carlos's life hell. It was making him really mad. Carlos was such a sweet, innocent little soul. Why were they doing this? Suddenly, a surge of adrenaline went through him and he stood up, dropping Carlos's hand.

**So I had WAY more but my computer flipped out and deleted most of the fight. It was in the 2,000's, so I decided to cut it off and make it the next chapter. BUT it's super badass and amazing, so I'll post it tomorrow probably. Review!**


	11. Blood, Blades, Bruises, and Cuddling?

"You know most homophobics are just afraid to admit that they themelves are gay." Logan said smartly.

"Look, Faggotoid, I'm not gay." Vince said, eyes firey.

"Go the fuck away, alright? There's no need for you here." Logan raged.

"FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" he heard people chanting.

* * *

Kendall had No Idea what to say. Did YES! seem too desperate?

Just after James said that he wanted to be Kendall's boyfriend, he heard chanting.

"FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!"

James turned to look through the leaves and see Vince standing in front of someone, fists clenched. Then he saw Carlos standing beside that someone, brows upturned in worry, trying to pull the person away.

"Shit!" James breathed as he expertly swung out of the tree and landed on his feet in the grass below. Kendall climbed down and jumped, barely landing on his feet. James was already at the scene.

Logan was standing tall and couragous on the other side of the log, staring up at Vince, fists clenched.

"There's no need for little gay boys like you, either."

"Shut your God-damned mouth, you huge piece of shit!" Logan screamed. Carlos was trying to tug Logan away with no success.

"Why are you sticking up for the Beaner, eh?" Vince smirked. With that, Logan launched himself over the log onto the boy, knocking him down.

"He's not a Beaner!" Logan screamed, punching Vince, hurting his hand more than Vince. "You take that back!"

"Get the hell offa me, you little psyco!" Vince said, punching Logan in the nose. Logan grunted and tried to attack the bigger boy- he was furious. Suddenly there were hands lifting him up, retaining him, bringing him to his feet.

"Get the hell off of me!" Logan yelled. He assumed the person was another jock, so he brought his foot back as hard as he could to his captor's crotch. He was immediately released and he fell forward.

James fell to the ground, holding himself. The little fucker kicked him in the nads when he was trying to help!

Logan got to his feet and lunged for Vince again, the other boy up and ready this time. Vince caught him, slammed him to the ground, as his jock buddies began kicking him in the ribs. Vince grabbed Logan by the hair, thumping his head against the grass. Logan was so angry he didn't even feel it- he used his endless knowledge of human anatomy to press a pressure point and get Vince on the ground again.

"TAKE IT BACK YOU SON OF A BITCH!" he screamed, hand around Vince's neck just below his jaw. "I'll kill you, I swear I will!"

Suddenly, someone had his hair again and was pulling his head back, he felt a cold blade at his throat.

"Let him go!" Carlos yelled as the other jocks held him back.

Logan expertly jabbed his elbow into the kid's shin, the blade disappearing from his throat. Before he could think, Vince's head had collided with his and he heard ringing in his ears and stars in his eyes.

James, still on the ground, holding himself, looked up. Did that kid have a KNIFE? The hell? Logan's nose was dripped blood, but there was no sign on letting up.

Suddenly, Kendall shoved all the guys away and picked Logan up off of Vince, pulling him away roughly as Logan struggled. He twisted the smaller boy's arms behind him and restrained him with effort.

"Calm the fuck down, Logan." Kendall said sternly in his ear. Logan tried to get away, but the way Kendall was holding him wasn't allowing it. If he tried too hard, he'd snap his arms.

"Let 'em go, little Emo Fag." Vince smirked, getting up, wiping blood from his face.

"It's time for you to shut the fuck up, Vince." Kendall warned.

"OOH- the prissy boy cussed at me." Vince challenged. Suddenly, a fist connected hard with Vince's cheekbone and he fell to the ground.

"Let's go." James said, breathing hard, standing over Vince, fists clenched. Then he stormed past Kendall and the now-still Logan.

"C'mon, Carlos." Kendall called and Carlos scampered over to take Logan as Kendall ran to catch up with James, who was at the car.

"What was that?" Kendall asked. James turned, eyes firey, took Kendall by the shirt and kissed him.

"O-okay." Kendall stammered as James's lips separated from his, his shirt still in his fist.

"He called you an Emo Fag and prissy boy. I had to knock the bitch out." James said, hungrily kissing him again.

"Okay- we NEED to get outta here now!" Carlos said as he and Logan ran to the car and jumped in. Kendall and James looked over to see the jocks twenty feet away, running at them. They jumped in the car and Kendall stepped on the gas.

"The hell did you do?" James raged, staring back at the two smaller boys, who were shaking in fear. Logan's cheekbone was bruised and he had blood gushing from his nose- his black hair was severely messed up.

"Carlos cussed em out!" Logan said in distress.

"Day-um!" Kendall said in his gay voice, getting a punch from James.

Finally they were safely away and driving down the road.

"Logan, I had no idea you had such a pair!" Kendall smirked. "I think that was a win!"

"You didn't hear what he said!" Logan said. "He called Carlos a Beaner!"

Kendall's brows shot up in surprise.

"You kicked me! In my jewels!" James said angrily.

"I didn't know it was you!" Logan said in defense.

"Do you know what Vince woulda done to you? You coulda got yourself killed." Kendall said sternly. James smiled and reached over to lace his fingers with Kendall's in support. He actually CARED about Logan? WAAAH?

"I wasn't thinking." Logan sighed as Carlos reached over to wipe blood from beneath his boyfriend's nose gingerly.

"I think it was sweet." Carlos said softly. Logan blushed and smiled a little as Carlos cuddled up to him. Carlos was like a little girl sometimes.

"Thank you." Kendall said softly to James. "For sticking up for me."

"I couldn't just stand back and watch. That guy pisses me off so much." James said.

"Are your- jewels- okay?" Kendall laughed.

"I guess so. _Might not ever be able to impregnate anyone_," he said loudly so that Logan would hear, "But I think it'll be okay."

"D'you guys wanna stay over tonight? Since we got jipped outta a good time?" James asked everyone.

"I thought it was a great time!" Kendall said smartly.

* * *

They ended up playing video games at James's house until 3 am again.

"No butt sex in my guest room. Got it?" James said sternly as Logan and Carlos went into the guest room.

"Yeah, yeah." Carlos yelled as they closed the door.

"I swear, if they do.." James said as he entered his bedroom with Kendall.

"I don't think they will. Carlos is scared of butt sex." Kendall slurred. James laughed at Kendall's droopy lids and slouchy posture.

"Lay down, Kendall. You're drunk." he giggled.

"'m not drunk. Just haven't slept in a while is all." Kendall said, stumbling over to the bed and lying down. James unlaced Kendall's black Chuck's and slipped them off- he assumed the blonde was already knocked out.

"What're you doin'?" Kendall asked, suddenly propped up, as James retrieved the air mattress.

"Um-?"

"Come and cuddle with me, Jamie!" Kendall slurred with a drunk smile.

"Go to sleep, Kendall." James laughed.

"Not til you're here with me." Kendall said stubbornly.

Before James said anything else, Kendall was out again. James rolled his eyes and turned out the lights, settling himself on the floor with a pillow and blanket.

"Fine. If ya wanna be that way." he heard and Kendall stumbled out of the bed and crawled over to lay on his side next to James- his head on James's bicep.

"You're the best boyfriend EVER." Kendall slurred childishly before going out for good.

Honestly, Kendall didn't remember anything after the time he laid on James's bed. He was astonished to wake up at 5 am on the ground, cuddled up to James. He was even embarrassed to find that he had drooled a little on James's arm. He scrunched up his nose and wiped it off, making James stir.

"Wassa matter?" he asked sleepily, his hazel eyes opening. Suddenly, it was all okay to Kendall.

"Go back to sleep." Kendall whispered, lying his head back down. James nodded and rolled over, his arm draped over Kendall's side, breathing lightly through his nose. Kendall was encased, and honestly it didn't feel too bad. He actually kinda liked it.

**It's happening! :D**

**I had a lot less of a fight, but just last moment I decided to make it more intense. I liked it a lot.**

**Review!**


	12. Last Day of School

"Completely bombed it." James sighed as he, Carlos, and Kendall exited the English classroom.

"Really? I thought it was easy." Kendall said smartly, wrapping his arm around James's waist.

"I don't even care how I did! School's over, bitches!" Carlos sang.

"You guys wanna come over tonight?" James asked.

"I dunno- I'll have to talk to Logie about it. I'll text you." Carlos said as he ran ahead, weaving through the wild teens.

"I'm in." Kendall said as James stopped and opened his empty locker to get out his backpack.

"That's all that matters." James laughed, slamming his locker shut and taking Kendall's hand. They didn't normally show much affection at school, but it was the last day of his Junior year! Why not?

They climbed into Kendall's little car and Kendall sighed, running his fingers through his hair. He wasn't gonna be able to get out any time soon- there were teenagers running wild everywhere.

"I fucking hate this school." he grumbled as the put his knees against the steering wheel. He had been in a crap mood all day because he's been feeling like crying since he realized it was the last day of school. The end of school meant the beginning of summer- his first summer without his dad.

James giggled and turned in his seat, back against the glove box, feet on the back of his seat.

He thought about this school year. He didn't show up most of the first half, but the time he did, he almost got in a fight. Turns out, he ended up dating the kid he fought with- his best friend also dating a dude. He saw his mother a total of twelve times during this school year. He did endless amounts of homework to keep from having to go to summer school or repeat the grade. He-

His thoughts were interrupted by the car shaking. He looked over to see Kendall flipping someone off, then twisted around to see Logan, hands on the hood of the car, rocking it violently. Carlos was on top of the car, head hanging down to stick out his tongue at Kendall and James. Kendall rolled his eyes and locked the doors.

"I'm three thousand percent done." Kendall grumbled. James giggled and scooted across the seat to squeeze his boyfriend's cheeks together.

"Quit that!" Kendall said, swatting him away.

"Don't be such a sourpuss, baby. It's the last day of school." James said, punching Kendall's thin stomach.

"I dunno what you're talking about. This is me everyday." he said as Carlos began banging on the window.

"We both know it isn't. What's gettin' atcha?" James asked. "You're usually cracking jokes and doing impressions. Normal you would be out there WITH Logan and Carlos."

"There's nothing wrong." Kendall said reassuringly.

"It's summer now!" James said. "You get to relax and not worry."

"I still have work. Summer's my busiest time and I've never done it without Dad." Kendall said quietly. James immediately saw what was actually going on.

"Baby-" James sighed. "Look- I could never tell you that I know exactly how you feel. So I could never make you feel better. But I DO know how it feels for my dad being god knows where and my mom being gone all the time-"

"James, really. I'm fine."

"And I wish I could take all your pain and keep it forever. You don't deserve this." James said. "And I know how close you were with your dad. And I know that you miss him a lot and it's gonna be hard for you to work this summer without him."

"I'm fine." Kendall said quietly, feeling a lump in his throat. James had hit the nail on the head and he didn't wanna show how torn up he was.

"It's okay to talk to me about it. It's what I'm here for." James said. "Please?"

Kendall shook his head, silently watching Logan and Carlos lay across his hood and windshield.

"Babe- I hate to see you this way."

"My dad was my best friend. I mean- I've been spending every summer with him, working on pools, since I was like... Eleven. It was our thing. We used to get ice cream after a hard day and-" Kendall stopped, feeling foolish as a tear slipped from his left eye. "And it's gonna be hard to do it without him. I miss him so much."

James was silent, not knowing what to say. Kendall swiped away the tear and shook his head. He felt so stupid- blubbering on to James about this, CRYING?

"I know it's tough." James finally said. "I wish it wasn't this way."

"Me, too." Kendall said, putting his feet back down on the floorboard. "But at the same time- if it didn't happen, I'd have never met you."

Kendall smiled and leaned over to peck James on the lips.

"Let's go have some fun." Kendall suggested, honking the horn, making Carlos and Logan jump.

* * *

Logan thought to himself as Carlos laid across his lap in the back seat, singing along to the radio. He was actually falling for the little idiot. Carlos was no longer a toy to play with, no longer a joke.

He stroked his boyfriend's black hair as he laid his head against the back of the seat, looking out the window. Life was good now. He had someone to take care of him, had friends, school was over. His life no longer felt like a black hole.

"The carnival!" Carlos shouted, bolting up and watching as they rolled past the fair, which wasn't open for the day yet. "Can we go? PLEEEEASE?"

Carlos turned to Logan, chocolate eyes big, lip jutted out.

"I'm not the one driving!"

"Kendall, I'll love you FOREVER-" Carlos said, leaning up to put his face between Kendall and James's heads.

"Hey- back off!" James laughed.

"Please? Please, please, please, please, please-"

"I'm not a carnivally type person." Kendall grunted.

"But I don't have my license!" Carlos said. It was true- the kid was seventeen years old, just finished his Junior year of high school and he still didn't have his permit.

"Logan does, right?" Kendall asked.

"Like I have time for Driver's Ed?" Logan sneered.

"Please, please, please, please, PLEASE? Mother of God, Kendall! I've never wanted anything more in-"

"Shut the hell up!" Kendall said loudly. "I said no!"

James turned to Kendall. He knew Carlos absolutely loved the fair and it didn't seem like such a horrible idea anyway.

"What if I said I wanted to go?" he asked. Kendall sighed and glanced at James, then back at the road.

"Are you kidding me?" he groaned.

"C'mon, Kenny. For me?" James said sweetly, wrapping his arms around Kendall's torso and snuggling his head up to the blonde's shoulder.

"You're lucky you're cute." Kendall grumbled and Carlos squealed and jumped in his seat.

"Carlos! Put on your god damned seatbelt you little twerp!" Kendall ordered and Carlos sat and buckled his seatbelt. Logan couldn't help but smile at Carlos's happiness.

Kendall sighed and nudged his boyfriend.

"Do you really wanna go or-"

"Of course. The carnival is like- the best place ever."

"Never been."

"Seriously?"

Kendall shrugged and turned into their neighborhood.

He dropped Carlos and Logan off at the Garcia house- they agreed to all meet at Kendall's in an hour.

Logan had met Carlos's parents lots of times, but they didn't know what was REALLY going on. Carlos refused to make any sort of contact with Logan while anywhere in his house other than the privacy of his bedroom. His dad was a cop and a "tough guy", Logan guessed he might be really disappointed in Carlos if he found out.

"Can we swing by my place to get some money?" James asked. Kendall sighed dramatically, as if it were a huge deal, and turned into the huge white house's driveway.

James unlocked the door and let them in.

"James?" came a voice and Mrs. Diamond peered around the corner of the kitchen.

"Mom!" James smiled and ran over to hug her. "If I'da known you'd be here I wouldn't have made plans."

Kendall stood awkwardly at the stairs when she looked at him.

"Hello, Kennith."

"Mom- it's Kendall." James retorted.

"I see you two have gotten to get along. Glad to see it." she said politely and James lead Kendall up to his room.

"Are you ever gonna tell her?" Kendall asked. Kendall's mom knew everything- she was fine with it.

"Eh- maybe." James said, retrieving 50 dollars from his drawer and looping an arm around Kendall's waist and kissing him.

**Okay, I realize this was a bad chapter. I've rewritten it several times, but I've got somewhat of a writer's block for this story.**

**I found like the most perfect picture for this story and I photobucketed it out and everything! But when I posted it as the cover, it cut off James and Kendall's hands. So FYI, James is playing with Kendall's hand.**

** Review!**


	13. The Carnival

"See- the sights, the smells, the sounds? Isn't this the best?" James said encouragingly, squeezing Kendall's hand. Carlos had already pulled Logan away to a ride, but James knew Logan wouldn't want to ride them all, so he would have to instead.

"So great." Kendall grumbled.

"C'mon, babe! Have some fun- we're free!" James pleaded, nudging his boyfriend.

"Yeah, yeah." Kendall sighed.

"How about we ride that?" James pointed to that rocket ship on a pivot that swirled around.

"Do you know that sketchy Mexicans put these rides together? Do you really think that's safe?" Kendall said in disgust.

"At least we'll die together." James said hopefully. Kendall shrugged indifferently.

"C'mon- cheer up. Please?" James pleaded.

"I just don't like this place."

"I know what'll get you outta this funk. Funnel cakes!" James said excitedly.

Great- just what Kendall wanted. A fatty, sugar coated, sticky mess to eat. He started to say no, but realized he was ruining James's time.

"I'll eat a little, I guess." he said and James smiled and led him to a funnel cake trailer.

Kendall looked inside the trailer at a greasy man making funnel cakes in a dirty kitchen. Gross.

James smiled as he held out the plate to Kendall. It didn't look so bad.

"Check it." James said as they sat on a bench. He tore off a piece held it out in front of Kendall's nose.

"You're not gonna feed me like a child." Kendall said, unamused.

"C'mon, baby." James pouted. "For me?"

James knew he could get Kendall to do anything if he just added a pouty face and "for me?" at the end. If there was one thing he has learned in the past month, it was that.

Kendall smiled a little and took the funnel cake in his mouth, nipping James's fingers in the process.

James giggled and ate some himself.

"This is good." James nodded. Kendall giggled at the powdered sugar on his boyfriend's mouth.

"What?"

"You got some-" Kendall began. "I'll get it."

With that, he leaned forward and kissed James.

"How is it possible for your kiss to get even sweeter?" Kendall said with a grin.

* * *

"I guess I should tell you that I'm a little terrified of heights." Logan said when Carlos suggested the ride that James suggested to Kendall.

"Awe." Carlos said.

"You could get James to ride it with you."

"I guess."

"Sorry."

"It's okay!" Carlos smiled. "There are plenty of other options."

* * *

James put his arm around Kendall on the Ferris wheel.

"Look- this whole relationship is entirely not emasculating enough for me." Kendall laughed.

"I'm sorry. Would you like to buy food and tickets and carry bags and such?" James asked smartly.

"I wouldn't mind SHARING the responsibilities of the male role- since we're both MALE." Kendall smiled. "Like, every once in a while-" he took James's hand and unwrapped him arm from his shoulders.

"Let ME do this." Kendall finished, laying his arms across the cart behind James.

"But I'm taller." James pouted.

"By like an inch!" Kendall said sarcastically.

"This feels wrong."

"Look- you're the chick- all the way! You love your hair, you're sensitive, you're pretty, you care about your clothes, you've got the best friend that you gossip with-"

"But you're the one that wears makeup." James teased.

"I think you win the skirt." Kendall grinned.

"Y'know- I think it's weird that Carlos acts like the chick."

"Why? Carlos IS a chick."

"But Logan's even more feminine." James explained. "He's like- a little girl."

"But Logan beat up a huge hockey head for Carlos." Kendall shrugged. "He's Carlos's knight in shining armor, Carlos is the princess."

"You're my Knight in shining armor." James said, poking Kendall's stomach.

"Haha- PUNNY as HELL, this one." Kendall mocked.

"You love it." James said, shaking his head with a huge grin.

"I do." Kendall smiled back.

* * *

"Look- it's not that bad! Please? Stupid James won't answer his phone." Carlos begged. Logan looked up at the huge ride. It didn't look safe at all- a bolt could come loose!

"I don't think it's safe, Los, baby." Logan said in a sorry tone.

"Do you LIVE to disappoint me?" Carlos groaned.

"I live to PLEASE you- and keep you ALIVE." Logan said sweetly.

"Logie- I swear, if you do this with me- I'll- I'll- do IT." Carlos said with a cheesy grin.

If it were a few weeks ago, Logan would be all over this deal. He had been trying to get Carlos to do anything sexual forever- but once he actually started caring for the twerp he didn't want to force him into anything. Of course, Carlos wasn't talking about doing the nasty- he was talking about giving Logan a blowjob.

"You don't havta sell yourself out to me- I'll do it if you REALLY want me to." Logan sighed.

"YAY!" Carlos squealed, taking Logan's hand and pulling him to get in line.

"Only for you." Logan said dramatically. Carlos smiled up at him, the neon lights everywhere illuminating off of his black eyes beautifully. It was dark out now and all the lights everywhere were on.

"Hey, losers." they heard a voice and Kendall swiftly kicked the back of Logan's knee. He and James were behind them in line.

"Did you try their corndogs, Los? They're the BEST." James said, eyes bright.

"He had three. Plus a funnel cake." Kendall said sarcastically.

"Are you sure this ride is the best idea?" Logan asked smartly.

"Who cares?" James smiled. "Not this guy!"

Finally they boarded the "rocket ship" and strapped themselves in. Logan really didn't want to and was about to get out of it when Carlos saw that there were two to a seat and he wouldn't have anyone to sit with.

The bored sounding carnie said the rules of the ride and it started. It didn't seem so bad until they got so high that they went in a complete circle.

"I don't like this!" Logan said, gripping the bar across his lap. He knew their velocity was too fast for anyone to fall out, but still.

"It's fun!" Carlos laughed, putting his hands up.

"CARLOS GET YOUR HANDS ON THE BAR!" Logan screamed and Carlos giggled, gripping the bar again.

Kendall looked over at James, who was already smiling at him.

"I'm glad you're not a chicken ass." Kendall said. "This is fun."

Once the ride stopped, James sprinted off of the platform. He didn't want to admit it, but he was gonna hurl.

He didn't make it to the overflowing trashcan- he just puked in the grass beside the ride. Once he was done, he spat and stood up straight, leaning against the ride.

"GROSS!" someone in line yelled.

"Shut up, asshole!" Kendall yelled back as he took James's arm and pulled him over to inspect him.

"Are you okay?" Kendall asked as he brushed brown hair from his boyfriend's face.

"It was just the corndogs, I guess." James said.

"You don't feel like you're gonna puke again?" Kendall asked.

"Nah- let's go again." James said excitedly.

"No way! We're going home." Kendall said sternly. "Let's find Carlos and Logan and skedaddle. They already ran off- didn't even see if you were okay."

* * *

"Carlos, this is dumb! It's obviously a scam." Logan said quietly to Carlos as his boyfriend aimed the baseball at the milk jugs.

"No way- I'm awesome at this game." Carlos said, throwing the ball, hitting the top jug.

"Okay, fine. But at LEAST do it right? You have to hit the bottom middle one. If that one goes, they all go." Logan said. Carlos aimed, and just as Logan said, he knocked them all down but the bottom left.

"WOW! That was a great shot!" the peppy carnie girl behind the counter said in the mic. "You get a medium prize!"

"They have that last one glued down. Can't get rid of the Big Ass Pandas." Logan said.

"I want the purple duck." Carlos told the girl. She gave it to him and Carlos turned to Logan.

"A souvenir for my dearest?" he said sweetly, holding the duck out.

Logan's hear melted. It was just like in the movies- the boy wins an awesome prize for the girl just to be sweet.

"You keep it." Logan said.

"I'll cry if you don't take it." Carlos said sternly. "His name is Mister Doodles and he wuvs you."

Logan smiled and Carlos loved it when he smiled. He loved his little dimples- it made him unique and adorable. Although Kendall has dimples, too, which makes Carlos a little weirded out.

"You're the sweetest." Logan said, taking to duck and kissing Carlos on his cheek.

"You guys are ADORABLE." the carnie sang. Logan jumped to see that the girl was leaning against the bar, head in her hands, making googly eyes at them.

"Hehe- uh- okay." Carlos said awkwardly, pulling Logan away.

* * *

"I don't wanna go." James whined as Kendall pulled him along, weaving around people.

"We can watch a movie or something." Kendall bargained.

"Can we cuddle?"

"There's no other way to watch a movie!" Kendall sang.

They finally found Logan and Carlos- the damn suck up won Logan a purple freekin' duck- and high tailed it outta there.

Kendall had his arm resting on the back of the seat behind James.

"I had a nice time." James said, kissing Kendall's cheek. Kendall wiped his cheek off in disgust.

"I'm sorry, babe- but puke breath doesn't suit me." Kendall giggled.

"What? Really?" James teased, kissing Kendall's jaw then neck and cheek.

"You're gonna make me wreck and kill us all, you asshole." Kendall said, putting his hand over James's face and pushing him away with a giggle.

"Hm- guess you'll havta take a shower now. Too bad." James said, poking Kendall's cheek just to make him mad.

"Knock it off!" Kendall said, elbowing his boyfriend, but smiling afterward to show that he wasn't actually mad.

**review!**


	14. Kendall's Birthday Treats

"Kendall!" Mrs. Knight called from downstairs. Kendall was on his bed sulking in his PJ's- he didn't want to get up.

"KENDALL DONALD!" she called again. He groaned and got up, walking slowly down the stairs.

"WHAT?" he grumped, but stopped when he saw James turn to him from the kitchen table.

"Hey, you." he smiled.

"What are you doing here?" Kendall asked, feeling dumb in his PJ's, messy hair, and no makeup.

"Your mom called me." James said, getting up.

"I hoped he could get you to have a little fun on your birthday." Mrs. Knight said sternly.

Kendall sighed and rolled his eyes, turning back to the stairs.

"What's so bad about your birthday?" James asked as they entered Kendall's room.

"Dad and I used to go to the amusement park on my birthday." Kendall said, plopping back down on his bed.

"You're not gonna feel any happier just lying here." James sang. "Let's go swimming or something."

"I don't wanna."

"We can go to the zoo."

"Gross."

"Well... Would you get up to spend the day with me if I told you that I got you the best gift ever?" James asked. Kendall just shook his head. James sighed and pulled the tickets from his pocket, tossing them on Kendall's chest. The blonde curiously looked at them and his eyes brightened.

Two tickets to see his favorite band, Daggers, preform live.

"How'd you get these? They're sold out."

"I'm James." James shrugged. "Nuff said."

Kendall jumped up and threw himself at his boyfriend hugging him tight.

"Can it just me 'n you today?" he asked, cheek still pressed to James's shoulder.

"Anything you want." James murmured.

"Can we get ice cream?"

"Of course." James laughed, pulling away. "Let's get you changed."

He tugged Kendall's shirt off and turned to his closet, selecting a grey and black striped shirt and jeans.

"Look how cute you are." James smiled once his boyfriend was dressed. Kendall laughed and turned to the mirror, fixing his hair. He decided he was a little too excited to get on with this day to put on his eyeliner, so he just decided to leave without.

"Oh, James, you're a saint." Mrs. Knight said happily, hugging James around the torso.

"We're going to see Daggers." Kendall said excitedly.

"Oh, wow." Mrs. Knight said. "I tried to get tickets, but they were sold out."

* * *

"How DID you get the tickets?" Kendall asked in the car.

"I bought them in March." James said.

"But we weren't together in March." Kendall said, confused.

"But we were friends."

"So- you bought me expensive concert tickets... Even though we were only FRIENDS?"

"Yeah." James shrugged.

"You're so amazing." Kendall said, heart melting as he started the car.

"I never got a kiss for my amazingness." James sang. Kendall smiled and turned kissing James's neck and jaw, then his lips, his arm around his boyfriends shoulder.

"So where're we going?" Kendall asked, putting the car in drive.

"My place." James said, putting an arm across the back of the seat behind Kendall. "We can swim and watch movies and eat food and play video games and all that junk."

"Sounds fantastic." Kendall said with a smile.

* * *

"Don't you ever get lonely in that big-ass house?" Kendall asked as they came out into the back yard. Immediately Rusty came up and jumped up- his paws on James's shoulders.

"Well, sometimes. But I have this big-ass dog to keep me company." James laughed, scratching the dog's sides. Rusty had gotten accustomed to Kendall and allowed him into the house and back yard without fret by now.

"Hey, boy." Kendall said, patting Rusty's head. The dog's huge tongue jutted out as he panted.

"Let's go sit at the pool." James suggested, getting the dog off of him and taking Kendall's hand to lead him to the pool. They took off their shoes and dipped their legs into the cool water.

"So how old are you now- seven?" James asked.

"Eighteen." Kendall giggled.

James felt Rusty nudge his side but ignored it. The dog began whining- he hadn't had anything to eat all day.

"Go on, Rust." James said, pointing away from him.

"What's he want?" Kendall asked.

"I dunno." James shrugged. Suddenly, the needy dog's nudges got harder- he hadn't realized his power yet- and James slipped into the pool.

He resurfaced, pushing hair from his face. Suddenly, the world went silent. He angrily dug out his hearing aids and tossed them into the grass, pulling himself up.

"Oh my God!" Kendall said. "Do you have any more?"

James just got up and put the dog inside. Kendall followed him. His boyfriend finally gave him his attention.

"Do you have others?" Kendall asked, pointing to his ears.

James's mouth went into a straight line as he shook his head- flustered. Of course he didn't have others- those cost thousands of dollars! Great. His boyfriend's birthday and it's ruined. How could he go to a CONCERT without being able to hear the music?

Kendall nodded solemnly. James didn't want this to ruin his day, so he immediately pepped up, taking Kendall's hand and pulling him inside.

_"Concert's in an hour and a half- wanna punk me up?"_ James texted on his iPod and showed it to Kendall. Kendall grinned and nodded, pulling his boyfriend upstairs.

James sat on the bed watching Kendall frantically search his closet for ANYTHING. He finally decided on dark jeans and a black t-shirt.

_"Scissors?"_ he texted. James's eyes widened. _"Please? It's my birthday. :)"_

Kendall cut the sleaves off of the shirt and slits across the sides. Then he ripped holes in the knees of the jeans.

_"Makeup?"_

James put on the clothes, feeling ridiculous, and took Kendall to find some eyeliner in his mom's bathroom.

"Sit." Kendall said aloud, patting the counter of the bathroom. James obeyed.

Kendall had to giggle to himself as he lined his preppy boyfriend's eyes with black, then his own. He gelled up James's dark hair to almost an Elvis du, but it didn't poof out. He smiled and nodded, letting James down to look at himself.

James's eyes widened at the sight of his new self.

_"I'll have to keep you close by. You'll get stolen. ;)"_ Kendall texted. "_Gotta leather jacket that might perhaps fit me?"_

* * *

James felt horrible that he couldn't hear the music or his boyfriend's happy yells or singing. All he could do was stand there, clueless. He couldn't hear the beat to dance along- what else was he supposed to do?

Kendall, however, was having the time of his life. He sang along and danced. But he couldn't help but think that it would have been a hundred times better if James could join him.

Once the concert was over and the members of the band walked off, Kendall threw his arms around James, mashing his lips with his.

"Do you mind if I print that and put it in my portfolio?" he heard a voice and turned. James, confused, followed his gaze.

"What?" Kendall asked.

A young girl with bright (dyed) red hair with black tips, dark eyeliner, and black clothes, turned her camera to face him. It was a professional camera and got a perfect snapshot of their kiss. Kendall pulled James over to look.

"It was adorable and I think it'd look good in my photography portfolio. Do you mind?" she asked.

"Um... Guess not. But only if you email it to me." Kendall said. "Gotta Sharpie?"

"Duh." she said, giving him a black Sharpie retrieved from her shoe. Kendall wrote his email on the girl's arm.

"I'll probably get it to you this weekend." she said. "Thanks for being gay!"

Then she left. James gave Kendall a confused look.

_"You're a model."_ Kendall texted and kissed James again.

* * *

In James's room, James was slipping off his torn, useless jeans. He was so ready to get this gel and makeup off. He took off the useless shirt, too and turned to go into the bathroom and take a shower.

"Don't go yet. It's my birthday." Kendall said. James gave him a confused look.

Kendall rolled his eyes and stepping forward to touch his boyfriend's hips and kiss him.

He removed his jacket, pants, and shirt, pushing James to the bed where he straddled his lap. Then he kissed his boyfriend's neck and jaw.

Confused, James pulled Kendall's face to his, searching his eyes. What was going on with him?

Kendall just smiled and mashed his lips with James's, then kissed a trail down his body, playing with the waistband of the navy blue boxers.

James jumped up, confused.

_"I can't get over how unbelievably sexy you look this way. Now come over here and gimme some sugar."_ Kendall texted, giving James a pouty face as he read it.

James's heart pounded in excitement as he sat on his knees at Kendall's feet and slowly slipped off the deep red boxers. Kendall wasn't huge, he discovered, but he was still pretty impressive.

Without over contemplating it, James shoved the hard member into his mouth. Who knew that some gel and eyeliner could get the blonde so worked up? He couldn't hear it, but he saw Kendall let out a groan.

James was fantastic at oral. Kendall had never gotten or given a blowjob before, but it felt pretty damn good. He watched the sexy boy work, making his heart pound out of his chest.

Just as he was about to climax, James stopped, his mouth making a popping noise as it slid off of the member. Then he got up, eyes pleading.

Kendall bit his lip and dropped to his knees, taking off the dark boxers.

Jeez- James was big. Of COURSE he was. He's James- no surprise.

Kendall hesitantly put the member in his mouth, sucking. James didn't need to hear in order to let out a groan. Kendall looked up into those hazel, black rimmed eyes, and was filled with lust. He was a little bit fuzzy at the thought that he made the tall, dark, handsome boy so horny.

James touched the blonde's hair as it bobbed in and out. He was enjoying himself.

Kendall was wrapped up in his work, but not so much so that he didn't hear the front door open and close.

"James? I'm home!" Must have been Mrs. Diamond.

Kendall jumped up, slipping on the nearest pair of boxers- James's, which were too big, and stuffed his own into James's hand.

"YOUR MOM'S HERE!" he mouthed. James's eyes widened as he slipped on the slightly too small underwear and jeans.

He pointed frantically at his showing erection and Kendall threw a blanket around James's shoulders and scampered into the bathroom.

"What HAPPENED to you?" Mrs. Diamond asked, eyes wide.

_Aids died- got wet. Can't hear you. _James texted and gave the phone to his mom.

She gave him a disappointed look.

_I'll order more tomorrow. What happened to you?_

James realized he still had his hair made and makeup on.

_Went to a concert with Kendall for his birthday. It's only temporary._

_I don't want you hanging around with him. He's a bad influence- just look what he did to you!_

_You can't make me! He's my boyfriend!_

Mrs. Diamond's eyes widened and James bent down to kiss her cheek goodnight before going upstairs.

Mrs. Diamond considered following him, but decided to lecture him when he could hear her.

_I told Mom about us._

_What did she say?_

_I didn't give her time to say anything._

_Is she gonna come up here?_

_No._

_Wanna pick up where we left off? ;)_

James just laughed and kissed Kendall. His erection went down mostly while he talked to his mother, but he could still finish off the birthday boy.

**As of 1 am(ish) Sunday morning, I have 99 reviews! Wow- thanks for all the support!**

**Sorry about the no warning on the sex scene. Don't hate me. It was a surprise to me, too.**

**More sex scenes? Yes or no?**

**Review!**


	15. Logan Gets an A Plus, Plus, Plus

Kendall woke up fuzzily to the door to James's room opening. He looked over to see Carlos, looking startled and embarrassed.

"Woah- sorry, bro." Carlos whispered.

Kendall saw that James's arm was draped over his bare side, his boyfriend's body pressed against his back. James stirred a little and propped himself up on an elbow.

"Oh, hey, Los." he grumbled. Carlos laughed out loud- James's eyeliner was smeared, hair messy.

"I see you two had some fun last night." Carlos said.

James looked down at the blonde, who hadn't changed his position on his side. He turned on his back, his caramelly green eyes gentle as they locked with James's.

"Not the kinda fun you're thinking of." Kendall said, still looking at James as he reached up, licked his thumb, and wiped eyeliner from James's face. "Mrs. Diamond came home and crashed the party."

Not really knowing what Kendall was saying, but not really caring, James traced the crease in between Kendall's ribs for a while, then decided he was tired. He laid his head on Kendall's bare chest and closed his eyes. Kendall put an arm around his boyfriend, stroking his hair.

"Rusty pushed him in the pool- his hearing aids died. He can't hear." Kendall explained.

"What d'you MEAN not the type of fun I'm thinking of? And what happened with his mom?" Carlos asked.

"I mean.. Okay- it was my birthday last night, so we went to a concert. Then we came back here... Messed around-"

"What EXACTLY did you do?"

"None of your damn business." Kendall said defensively, then smiled a little to show that the Latino was forgiven. "Anyway, Mrs. Diamond came home, so we had to stop. He went down to talk to his mom."

"Kendall... Is James still a virgin?"

"Of COURSE he is." Kendall said almost angrily, stroking James's dark hair. "That wasn't my intended outcome, but that's how it happened."

"Gross." Carlos said.

"What d'you MEAN gross? I'm almost POSITIVE that you and Logan screw around like every day." Kendall said.

"We've NEVER screwed around." Carlos said.

"Why?"

"Because I don't want anything up my ass! That's gross!"

"Look, Carlos. There's more than one way to skin a cat. All ya gotta do is stick your dick up his ass before he can stick his up yours." Kendall shrugged.

"I guess."

"Do you WANT to go all the way with him?"

"Of course I do... Kendall... I think I love him."

Kendall snorted.

"Oh, Carlos. Sweet, naïve Carlos." he sighed.

"What- you don't love James?"

"No." Kendall said simply. "I like him a whole lot and I care about him excessively... But-"

"Maybe you just don't KNOW what love feels like. Maybe you DO love him, but you just don't know it." Carlos said.

Kendall contemplated this for a second. Maybe for once Carlos was right...

"Anyways... If you wanna do it... You just gotta be assertive. Logan is a sex beast on the inside- I'm telling you. Just pin him up against the wall and demand he love you back. He'll do it in a heart beat." Kendall said.

"Yeah- I'm not an assertive person." Carlos said slowly.

"Just saying. Maybe he'll like it." Kendall said as James shifted a little and tightened his arm around the blonde's waist.

"Well... I just came over to get a shirt. I'm going to Logie's tonight and wanna look sharp."

James moved to look up at Kendall. Kendall smiled and stroked his boyfriend's cheek gingerly. James was so cute- Kendall felt so lucky. James caught Kendall's hand and brought it to his lips, kissing it gently.

* * *

"Logie?" Carlos called through the house. Logan told Carlos to come in anytime, so he did that night.

"Yeah?" Logan called from somewhere. "I'm in my room."

Carlos ventured to the neat bedroom down the hall to see Logan in a towel, black hair wet and messy over his forehead. He turned and waved at Carlos, going over to hug him.

"Everything okay?" he asked. "What're you doing here?"

"Just came to see you." Carlos said with a smile. "Is that okay?"

"It's fantastic." Logan said, going over to comb his hair at his dresser.

"So Kendall and James were cuddling- asleep- in James's bed this morning. In their underwear." Carlos said, sitting on the bed.

"Oh my god- did they- ?"

"Kendall claims they didn't." Carlos sighed. "But he said they 'messed around'."

"Hm." Logan said, taking note. He and Carlos locked eyes through the mirror and Logan smiled, shaking his head.

"Logie?" Carlos suddenly said, getting up.

"Carlos?"

"I think I love you." Carlos blurted. Logan turned to his boyfriend, a little astonished.

"I love you, too." Logan shrugged.

"What? Really? You do? See, cause I was scared it was too soon- I mean, two and a half months isn't that long, so-"

Logan shut up the Latino with a kiss.

Maybe he didn't exactly one hundred percent love Carlos... But what was the harm in saying he did? It's not like he didn't care for the little retard. By saying that he DID love the Latino back, it made Carlos happy. And Logan loved it when Carlos smiled.

"Will you love me forever?" Carlos asked, eyes wide as Logan's hands ran over his boyfriend's back and stomach.

"Of course I will." Logan lied, kissing Carlos. Heck, maybe he WOULD love Carlos forever. But for now it was a lie- since you had to love someone in the first place in order to love them forever.

"Will you always kiss me this way?"

"Plus more."

Carlos giggled and pushed Logan onto the bed. It was the first time he realized he was wet from Logan's freshly showered embrace. He slipped his shirt off over his head and tossed it aside.

"I hear you've been a naughty boy. Looks like you'll need extra homework." Carlos said sternly, pinning Logan's arms to kiss him.

"Roll playing?" Logan laughed.

"Your first assignment is to spank me. You'll be graded on your performance." Carlos said, kissing Logan's collarbone and letting go of his arms. Logan's hands gratefully moved to Carlos's jean-covered ass, slapping it.

"Oh." Carlos squealed. Logan giggled and slapped it again, then rubbed it. Then he unbuttoned Carlos's jeans, allowing Carlos to slip them off.

"A+. But only cause you're cute." Carlos said, unwrapping Logan's waist and tossing the white towel aside. He was a little scared, actually. He had never done anything sexual with a girl- much less a boy.

"We can go watch a movie or something-" Logan said, making to get up. Carlos roughly pushed him back to the bed.

"No leaving until class is dismissed." Carlos said as he got to his knees and spread Logan's legs. He decided to act like he knew what he was doing. Heck- Logan was a virgin, too. He wouldn't know the difference.

Carlos gave Logan a childish grin before slowly putting boyfriend's cock in his mouth. It was warm- almost scolding hot- and throbbing. It was one of the weirdest things the innocent Latino had ever experienced.

Logan, however, had never had ANYONE touch his private parts before. He had to say- it was magnificent. He knew he wouldn't last long- Carlos was driving him crazy.

After a short while, Carlos stood, taking off his own boxers.

"Assignment number two." he said charmingly. Logan couldn't help but smile as he fell to his knees.

"Don't be scared. I won't grade too hard." Carlos said with a wink. Logan swallowed and took hold of the tan cock. It was hard and warm and quite beautiful. He hesitantly put it in his mouth and felt Carlos hold the back of his head and thrust in.

"The hell?" Logan choked.

"Who's the teacher here?" Carlos said, bending down to kiss Logan roughly. "I was under the impression that you liked it rough. Don't you like it rough, baby?"

"I DO like it rough." Logan said with a sly smile. "Give it to me rough."

"That's what I like to hear." Carlos smirked, pulling Logan's head by the hair back to his cock.

After a while, Carlos got a little too excited and gagged Logan. Logan pulled back coughing violently.

"I'm sorry. Are you okay?" Carlos asked quietly, bending to inspect his boyfriend.

"When you say rough... You MEAN rough." Logan giggled. Carlos bit his lip.

"Want me to tone it down?" he asked, embarrassed.

"No way." Logan answered. Suddenly, there were arms around his ribs and he was being lifted to the bed. Wow- was Carlos really that strong?

"Hands and knees." Carlos growled. Logan obeyed, looking back at Carlos to see what he was gonna do next.

"THIS is for gagging like a little pussy." Carlos said, slapping Logan's ass- HARD. Logan screamed- in real agony. "I've gotta big cock, Logie. You're gonna have to take it like a man."

Logan nodded and whimpered.

"And THIS is for being AFRAID." Carlos said, slapping Logan's ass again. Logan screamed again and gripped the blankets.

"And THIS is just cause you've gotta cute ass that needs to be spanked." Carlos said, spanking Logan again. His cheeks were getting red, so he had mercy.

"Where's the lube?" Carlos demanded.

"I wasn't AWARE that we were doing this- so I don't HAVE any." Logan whimpered. Carlos slapped Logan's ass again, making the recipient scream.

"Guess I'm goin' in dry, then." Carlos taunted. "Since SOMEONE failed to be prepared."

"NO!" Logan said quickly.

Before Logan could protest any further, Carlos jammed himself into Logan's ass, making Logan scream in agony.

"Carlos! Please!" he screamed.

"Please WHAT?" Carlos taunted, pulling out a little and thrusting in again.

"FIND SOME SOAP OR SOMETHING!" Logan said with a cry. He could feel his asshole ripping- or so it felt. Maybe this is what childbirth feels like.

"It's too late, baby. We're balls deep now." Carlos sang, thrusting in all the way.

"WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME?!"

"Nobody can love a filthy whore!"

Carlos, for some reason, was loving this. Not only did it feel amazing, but Logan's screaming was a huge turn on. Is this considered rape? Carlos wondered.

"THERE'S NO GOD DAMNED MUCUS IN MY ASSHOLE, CARLOS. THERE'S NOTHING TO- AAAH!- CARLOS!" Logan screamed.

"It's getting better! See?" Carlos said as his thrusts became easier.

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!"

Carlos stopped. Logan seemed like he was being serious.

"Logie? Are you okay?" he asked quietly.

Logan turned a little to look back at his boyfriend, black eyes firey.

"Why'd you stop?" he growled. "Fuck me!"

Carlos's eyes widened as he grinned and thrust in hard. Logan screamed- more in pleasure than in pain.

Logan had to admit- he always pictured Carlos as the catcher. But now that he's experienced it... He really likes it. He even likes this new "Carlos" who he just recently met- not his sweet, innocent boyfriend, but he loved it.

"Oh, God. You're fucking cock feels so good!" Logan groaned, making Carlos excited. If he had a tail, it would be wagging.

"Cum in me, Carlos! I want your cum inside me!"

"I'm close!"

"Me, too!" Logan said, reaching down to stroke his own cock.

Carlos quickened his thrusts and soon felt himself about to cum.

"Oh god- here I go!" Carlos said. Just as he said that, warm ropes of his cum released into Logan. The sensation made Logan cum immediately and fall into the bed. Carlos fell with him- his body on top of his boyfriend's warm, flushed yet still pale, body.

"Oh my God." Logan said, breathless.

"You get an A+++." Carlos said, trying to catch his breath.

"Victory." Logan joked, wrapping his arms around the warm Latino. Soon, he was pretty sure Carlos fell asleep, because he found that he couldn't move under his weight.

**Awe, yis. **

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	16. Worst Day Ever

"Carlos!" Mrs. Diamond yelled up the stairs. "Will you bring James down here?"

Carlos and James were in James's room watching TV- well, Carlos was. James was just texting Kendall most of the time. Carlos called down in response and signaled James to follow him.

"New aids." she said to Carlos as she opened the cardboard box. She took out two hearing aids and turned them on- holding them out to James.

James's eyes widened and he shook his head furiously. These were NOT invisible aids. These were full blown old man aids that wrapped around his ears and were completely visible. Mrs. Diamond gave him a blunt look and James reluctantly put them in. The world came to life- a huge relief for James, who has been deaf for four days.

"They're only temporary." his mom said bluntly. "Your old ones were custom made- it takes a while to make custom things."

James sighed and went to the bathroom, looking at himself in the mirror. They were completely noticeable. He groaned and rolled his eyes.

"They aren't so bad." Carlos shrugged. "At least you can hear."

"Yeah- I guess." James said and pushed past Carlos to hug his mom reluctantly.

"I know that hearing aids are really expensive, so thank you." James said, kissing her cheek.

"Well, I didn't have much of a choice, now did I?" she sighed. "Sit down- I wanna talk to you."

James sat down, a little confused. Carlos felt awkward, so decided to sit in the living room.

"I understand you're dating a... a..."

"Boy?"

"Yes. Meaning you're..."

"Gay?"

"Yes. And I'm not sure I'm okay with that."

"It doesn't matter, Mom." James said angrily. "It's not up to you."

"I don't want you seeing him anymore. He got you to wear MAKEUP. And you spend all your time with him."

Carlos heard everything and got up.

"Look, Mrs. Diamond. Kendall's actually a pretty cool guy. And it took FOREVER to get him to hang out with us." Carlos said. "He really isn't so bad."

"Los-" James began.

"And furthermore, I guess you should know I've been gay longer than he has."

Mrs. Diamond's eyes widened.

"And it's FUN. I mean- guys aren't near as dramatic or needy as girls. I like it way more."

"Well, Carlos. You're not my son. You do what you want." she said, then turned to James. "You're breaking it off. Today. End of story."

"MOM!"

"MRS. DIAMOND!"

"James, you need to be dating a nice girl who you can have beautiful Diamond babies with." she said sternly.

"You can't do this." James said angrily, jumping up.

"James Dylan, you calm down."

"I won't do it." James said angrily. "C'mon, Los."

With that, James stormed away out the front door, followed by Carlos.

"Where are we going?" Carlos asked.

"I need to talk to Kendall." James said angrily.

"Maybe you should calm down first- you know how you get-"

"It's FINE, Carlos." James said. Carlos stopped jogging and watched as his friend stormed away. James rarely ever called him Carlos- it was always Los or Car. And besides that, why was he so angry at CARLOS? Carlos just wanted to save James the humiliation of blowing up in front of Kendall. Cause that's what friends do, right?

Feeling like a kicked puppy, Carlos turned back to go home. If James didn't want his help, fine.

James knocked on the door to the Knight house, feeling all hot and bothered. Kendall answered it and was surprised when James burst in, fists clenched.

"What's wrong?" Kendall asked, taking James by the shoulders to make him be still.

"Can we go on a walk?" James asked pleadingly.

* * *

"Carlos?" came a voice from the kitchen. Carlos followed the sound to see his dad in uniform, sitting at the table with his mom.

"Hey, guys." he said. "Sup?"

"Mrs. Diamond called us." his mom said almost solemnly. Carlos's stomach dropped.

"Yeah? About what?" he asked.

"She said that you had something to tell us." his dad said.

Carlos shifted uncomfortably.

"Did you do something bad? Are you on drugs? You've been acting extra happy the past few months." his mom said.

"You're in love, aren't you, son?" his dad asked, eyes glowing.

Carlos swallowed hard and nodded.

"Who is she? Why hasn't she come around?" his mom asked.

"Well... You've met the person." Carlos said uncomfortably. "Lots of times."

"What's her name?" his dad asked excitedly.

"It's not a SHE, dad." Carlos said, avoiding his dad's eyes and turning to rest his forehead on the fridge.

"What do you mean?" his mom asked.

"I'm dating Logan." Carlos said slowly, squeezing his eyes shut, awaiting the reaction. When nobody said anything for a few minutes, Carlos opened his eyes and looked at his parents. His mom was sitting there, playing with a napkin. But his dad... His dad's reaction was the worst.

The big man simply stood up, avoiding his son's eyes, and went out the door to the garage. Carlos sighed and went to his room, burying himself in blankets. He didn't even get up to answer his cell phone when Logan called.

* * *

"Mom wants me to break up with you." James said as he and Kendall walked hand in hand down the side walk.

"Are you gonna?" Kendall asked.

"No way. And I'm never going back home. I'll be a hobo forever if I have to." James said.

Kendall was silent for a while, feeling guilty. He looked down at the sidewalk as they walked.

"Well?" James finally asked.

Kendall felt horrible. He couldn't let James run away from home on his account. James had an amazing house and his dog- his beloved dog- was there. The dog would probably be taken to the pound or forgotten about if James wasn't there.

"Maybe it's the best thing to do." Kendall said quietly.

"What?" James snapped.

"I'm not worth running away from home for, James. Just... Go home. Tell her we broke up. That'll be that."

"I can't lie to my mom... Plus, I can't let her WIN."

"It won't be lying." Kendall said, heart heavy.

"What do you mean?"

"Look, James." Kendall said, stopping and dropping James's hand. James stood close to him, hazel eyes filled with worry. "I'm just Kendall. You don't need to leave behind an awesome house, your beloved dog, and your caring mother for me. I'm not gonna let you."

"So- what? You're breaking up with me?" James asked, voice weak.

Kendall's eyes lifted to James's as he took a deep breath.

"Don't take it personally. But... It's what's best." Kendall said.

James stepped back, heart thumping, breaths quickened.

"So that's it? That's the end of the road?" James asked, eyes filling with tears.

"Don't cry-"

"Whatever." James said, storming back the other way. He had No Idea where he was going. Maybe Carlos's house. He didn't care. He just had his heart broken- for the first time. He couldn't control the tears flowing down his cheeks and almost suffocated several times when he forgot to breathe.

Kendall stood in the middle of the sidewalk, watching James storm away. It tore him up to see James angry at him. It tore him up to know that he wasn't with James anymore. He felt like crying.

_Don't CRY, you little pussy._

Kendall sank down to the sidewalk where he hugged his knees and stared at the grey concrete before him. He, Kendall Knight, was a heartbreaker. What a dick.

**Dramatic chapter.**

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	17. Regrets and Confessions

"PICK UP YOUR PHONE! SOMEONE'S CALLING YOU! PICK UP THE DANG PHONE!"

James's ringtone that Carlos made for him rang through his room that afternoon- 12 pm. James ignored it and went to get it when it stopped.

_Missed Calls from:_

_Kendall_

_Kendall_

_Kendall _

_Kendall_

James wanted nothing to do with Kendall. He was PISSED.

* * *

Kendall sighed and tossed his phone on the bed and picked up his guitar.

"I wish I could FUUUUUUCKING come up with a SOOOOOOONG for you-" Kendall sang angrily, strumming fiercely. "I wish you would FUUUUUUUUUCKING pick up your GOD Damned PHOOOOOOONE. I wish you didn't FUUUUUUUUUUCKING hate my guts. I wish-"

"Kendall!" Katie yelled over the noise. "You can't rhyme fucking with fucking."

"And now FUUUUCKING Katie bursts in the door and FUUUUUCKING crushes my dreams. OOOOH YEEEEAH."

Katie rolled her eyes and stormed across the room, sitting on the bed next to her brother. Kendall sighed and stopped strumming, setting the guitar aside.

"Go to him." she said.

"I can't. He hates me."

"He doesn't hate you."

"I broke his heart."

"But you still love him and he still loves you."

"Love is a strong word."

"Love is the RIGHT word." Katie said sternly.

Suddenly, the cell phone rang and Katie lunged for it, shoving it in Kendall's hand.

_James :)_

"Hello?" Kendall answered quickly.

"Okay. So you aren't kidnapped or buried alive?"

"No."

"Okay. Bye."

"No- wait!"

The line went dead. Kendall threw the phone across the room and fell back on the bed.

"He asked me if I was kidnapped or buried alive, then hung up." he said miserably.

* * *

Carlos's dad has been avoiding contact with his son for the past few days.

It wasn't that he was disappointed. He loved Carlos with all his heart! Carlos was his last son at home- his three other sons were moved out. He just wanted his boy to be happy... But he wasn't particularly fond of gays. He didn't know how to talk to Carlos anymore- didn't know if Carlos was still into riding around in his cop car or if he still loved playing football with him.

Carlos's mom was stuck in the middle.

She was fine with her son's decision. All a mother could ask for is a happy child, right? And Logan was a fantastic boy- always did his homework and knew his table manners. She loved Logan.

But her husband was a little freaked out about the whole thing. She tried talking to him, but he was just closed off to the idea. Almost like he was angry at Carlos- his best friend. So now she was stuck- comforting both of them. Being on both sides.

Carlos hadn't come from his room for two days except occasionally to eat and use the bathroom. He just laid there in bed, doing nothing. He hadn't even called James- he was probably too busy being mushy with Kendall, right? But he DID call Logan. For a few minutes. But he didn't say anything about the events of that day.

"Car?" Mrs. Garcia said softly, coming into the room with a platter of corndogs and ketchup.

"Go away." Carlos groaned.

"I brought you some food." she said, sitting on the bed. Carlos sat up and took a corndog, dipping it in the ketchup and taking a solemn bite.

"He hates me. My own father." he said miserably, setting his head on his mother's shoulder.

"No he doesn't. He just... Doesn't know quite what to say to you."

"What do I do?"

"I say you go hang out with James and have a good time. Then come home and show your father that you're still same old Carlos."

"How can I have fun on a day like this?" he grumbled.

"I know James. As soon as you get there, he'll cheer you right up." she said. "So get up and get dressed."

* * *

James felt horrible about being a jerk to Kendall. But really, he just wanted to make sure that Kendall wasn't frantically calling him because he was in trouble. He would feel horrible if Kendall was trapped in some rapist's cellar and was calling James to come help him, but James was ignoring his calls.

He slumped down on the couch, feeling miserable.

"Why don't you call Carlos? He'll make you feel better." Mrs. Diamond suggested as she rolled her suitcase out to the kitchen and approached James.

James thought about it a second._ Wow_- he realized-_ I have nobody_._ I yelled at Carlos and I'm pissed at my mom and Kendall. Well, there's always Logan, I guess. But he's not much for comforting._

"Okay. Well, I'm off. I'll call you." she said hopefully. It broke her heart that James was angry at her, but it was for the best. James didn't answer, so she kissed his forehead and left.

* * *

Kendall was nervous as he walked down the sidewalk toward James's house. He was gonna demand James talk to him. Tell James he loved him. Tell him he was sorry.

* * *

Carlos knocked on the Diamond door, but there was no answer.

"JAMES?" Carlos called as he opened the door.

"Go away!" came a call and Carlos wondered to the living room, seeing James face down on the couch.

"What's goin' on?" Carlos asked. "I've got big stuff to tell you."

"I have my own big stuff."

"I told my parents about me and Logan and my dad... Hates me."

"At least you have a dad. At least you have a boyfriend." James said.

"What d'you mean? You have Kendall."

"No, Los. I don't." James said, sitting up. "He broke up with me after I told him what mom said. He said it was for the best and-" he broke off, getting choked up.

Carlos sighed and pulled James to his feet, giving him a bro-hug.

"At least he doesn't hate you. At least you know he still cares." he said gently.

"But I want him here to hug me and make me laugh." James sniffled.

"Then call him."

"I can't. I'm mad at him. For dumping me. And he knows it." James said. "The son of a bitch was my first love."

"First love?"

"Yes. I never loved anyone before him." James said. "I never got to tell him that."

* * *

Kendall knocked on the Diamond door and Carlos answered it.

"Oh- hey, Kendall." Carlos said quietly. "I don't think-"

Kendall pushed past Carlos and saw James, on the couch, hugging his knees in his PJs, looking rough. He had stubble over his lip and on his chin, his hair messy. His hazel eyes looked up and for a second brightened, then flashed to the ground angrily.

"Avoiding my calls?" Kendall asked angrily.

"Yup." James grumbled.

"Look... I've got stuff to say to you." Kendall said, kneeling in front of James to look him in the eyes.

"Don't care." James said, looking away.

"James... There are so many things that I never ever got to say. Cause I'm always tongue tied and my words get in the way. But... If you could read my mind, all your doubts would be left behind-"

"Kendall-"

"James Diamond, I fucking love you." Kendall demanded. "And if you hate my guts, fine."

"Well, I do." James said.

Kendall felt like James had just stabbed him. He expected something more like "Awe- I love you, too."

"And I still want to be your friend."

"Well, too bad."

"What the hell is your problem?"

"Do you KNOW how much I fucking cared about you? I was gonna run away from home for you." James said, standing up. "And you tore out my heart and stomped on it. I don't appreciate that."

Kendall was standing now, too.

"It breaks my heart to have you pissed at me. But... It really is best."

"I'm practically 18. I can do what I want, Kendall. Mom's not an issue."

"Fine. Take me back, then."

"No way."

Kendall's heart dropped and so did James's.

"Okay." Kendall said quietly and turned to the door. "I'll see you around, then."

Carlos watched as Kendall left and slapped James across the shoulder.

"The hell is your problem?!"

"I don't know. I just want to be alone." James groaned as he lay face down on the couch again.

**Yeah- I know. :P**

**Review! **


	18. Angry Guitar Smashing

Logan hadn't really heard from Carlos in a few days- he was getting worried. He decided to stop by to make sure everything was okay.

He knocked on the door and Mr. Garcia answered it.

"Hello, Logan." the huge man said, his sight accent coming out.

"Hi, Mr. Garcia. I was wondering if-"

"You can't see my son anymore. I know what you do with him."

Logan, confused, began to talk again.

"Thanks for stopping by." Mr. Garcia said, but before he could close the door, Mrs. Garcia stopped him.

"Logan! I'm sorry, but Carlos isn't here. He's helping James through a bad breakup for the past few days." she said.

"What? Breakup?!" Logan said, concerned. This was the first he's heard of this.

"Oh, and Carlos told us about you and him. I'm so glad he's happy she said."

Logan smiled at her, then stopped when Mr. Garcia gave him a stern look.

"Look, Mr. Garcia- sir. I know you're not all for the whole gay thing- but Carlos is still same old him. And I know you're like.. His IDOL. And it must be killing him that you don't accept him."

Mr. Garcia sighed.

"I DO accept him. I just don't like it." he said stubbornly.

* * *

Kendall, for the third time that day, pressed "CALL" under James's contact.

It rang three times and went to voicemail.

"It's me." he said solemnly. It was the first voicemail he's left. "I'm really freaking out without you. And I know I fucked up and it's been the worst mistake I've made so far. Please call me. I miss the sound of your voice- I miss your hugs, your smile, your eyes, your hands, your kiss. I wish I hadn't done what I did. I wish you didn't hate me. I wish I could erase the past week and start over. I love you. PLEASE call me, cause-"

"_Voicemail maximum time limit reached._"

Kendall sighed and tossed the phone aside and grabbed his guitar.

"It's the way that I feel when you're doin' what cha do with me. That keeps ya running through my mind twenty four-seven days a week. And if you've got the time. Just stick around and you'll realize, that it's worth every minute that it takes, just wait and see." he sang. He was in the middle of a new song- he's been working on it vigorously for days now. It would be perfect- just for James.

"I will scream to the world they will see you're all mine. But I juuuust- keep gettin' stuck- stuck- but I'm never givin' up- up- in the middle of our- perfect day. I'm trippin' over- words to say. Cause I don't wanna keep you guessin'. But I always end up gettin'- stuck- stuck- but I'm never givin- up- up."

I was the first acoustic song he's played in a while. He liked it- smooth and sweet.

Kendall put down his guitar and picked up his phone, calling James again.

"Leave me alone." came a voice on the first ring. It was James.

"James!" Kendall said happily. "Please-"

"I don't wanna talk to you." James growled. "Forget about me."

"I can't."

"Please."

"I need you." Kendall said softly. "I love you."

There was no answer for a while.

"Kendall... Please. Just don't tear yourself up over me. Move on."

Then the line went dead.

No way. Kendall had to try again. He grabbed his acoustic guitar, slipped his phone in his pocket, and left the room.

* * *

"If you want him back, take him back." Carlos said, confused.

"He's a loose cannon, Car. I can't. He'll just break my heart again." James replied.

"Just LOOK how sorry he is. He loves you, James! Don't you care?"

"Of course I care."

"You're confusing."

"I know." James said softly. "I'm just really confused."

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door and James, not thinking, got up to answer it.

Outside the door was Kendall, guitar in his hands.

"I wrote you a song." he said softly.

"Kendall- go away."

"Please listen?"

James was silent as Kendall began strumming. Kendall didn't get past the first chorus when James got choked up and slammed the door in the blonde's face.

Kendall stared at the door in wonderment.

"JAMES?" Kendall called, knocking on the door. No answer. Kendall pounded his fist angrily on the door, took the guitar strap from around his neck, and stormed away. He was so pissed- not at James or at himself, just at the world in general.

He gripped the guitar's neck to tightly, his knuckles were white.

He began walking down the sidewalk.

_He doesn't love you, Kendall._

_James will never love you._

_You're so dumb- why are you even trying?_

_He'll never take you back._

Kendall, breathing hard, couldn't take it anymore. He walked out in the middle of the road, heart pounding.

_What good will it do if you die?_

_Death won't release you._

_James will just hate you more for killing yourself in front of his house._

Kendall felt like screaming. His life was so fucked up right now. He wanted James back. He wanted his dad back. He wanted HIMSELF back.

Before he could control himself, He was holding the guitar over his head and brought it down hard on the road, smashing the sandy wood into millions of tiny splinters. He kept beating it until there was nothing left to beat. And then he fell to the ground in a little ball, finally letting out the tears that have been waiting to come out.

* * *

James watched Kendall through the blinds. Watched him walk only a few steps down the sidewalk before going out to the middle of the road.

_Oh my god- the hell?!_

James hurried to the door and opened it. Before he could get off the porch, he watched as Kendall demolished his beloved guitar and collapsed on the ground. He ran to the heap of his ex-boyfriend and knelt next to him.

"Kendall?" he asked in a shaky voice.

"Let me be road kill. Who gives a fuck?" Kendall sniffled.

"I never meant for it to be like this." James said quietly. "I never meant for you to lose it."

"Oh, I haven't lost it." Kendall said angrily, getting up. He wasn't wearing eyeliner, but his tears were visible anyways. "If I lost it, I'd be dead by now."

"Kendall-"

"Why are you such an asshole to me? I told you I love you. I asked for forgiveness. I said I was sorry. I wrote you a SONG! Several songs!" Kendall yelled. "And you still fucking hate me!"

"I loved the song-"

"But still you don't love ME!"

"I DO love you, dammit."

"DON'T FUCKING LIE TO ME!"

"I'm not LYING." James yelled back, pushing Kendall's chest.

"You're an asshole! A FUCKING asshole!" Kendall screamed, breathing hard, shoving James back.

"And asshole you LOVE." James said, shoving back.

"FOR SOME REASON." Kendall yelled, pulling back his fist. James quickly grabbed his fist, staring Kendall in the eyes for a second. Kendall had tears streaming down his face, fist trembling.

"I love you!" James yelled, hazel eyes firey.

"I love you, too." Kendall said gently. Before he could think, James dropped Kendall's fist and pulled the blonde's hips to his, mashing his lips into his.

"It took me destroying my favorite acoustic for you to make this breakthrough?" Kendall asked after the kiss.

"I've been so confused." James said, hugging Kendall. A car came up to them and honked as they went around. Kendall flipped them the bird as he stared at them.

Kendall sniffled, enjoying the embrace and the intensity of it all.

"You can wipe your nose on my shoulder. If you want." James said. "I won't kill you."

Kendall laughed for the first time in a week and hugged James tighter.

**Did you really think they could stay away from each other forever? Pffft. No.**

**Review! :))**


	19. Singing and Sleeping Like Angels

"I'd really love to hear that song again." James said as he and Kendall sat on Kendall's bed.

"Yeah, well, ya can't. Cause I demolished my acoustic." Kendall sighed.

"Play it on the electric one."

"It won't be as smooth and sweet. And it's supposed to be."

"Ooh- let's make it a duet." James said excitedly, already making up Kendall's mind.

"You're lucky you're so damn cute." Kendall grumped, getting up and returning with the notebook with lyrics and his guitar.

"Can you sing?" he asked, tuning the guitar.

"I dunno. I'd like to think so." James said. "I wanna start."

Kendall began strumming.

"There are so many things that I never ever get to say. Cause I'm always tongue tied and my words get in the way-"

"If you could read my mind, all your doubts would be left behind-"

"And every little thing would be fallin' into place."

"I will scream to the world. They will see you're all mine. But I just keep gettin'-"

They sang the entire song as if it was made exactly for them. After it was over, Kendall set aside his guitar and straddled James's lap, kissing him.

"What the hell?" James laughed.

"Oh my GOD I've never been so attracted to you." Kendall breathed, kissing James again.

"I get that a lot." James joked.

"You sing like a fucking ANGEL." Kendall groaned.

"Woah-" came a voice and Kendall turned to see Katie.

"Katie! Get out!" Kendall said, throwing a pillow at her.

"Hey, James." Katie said, waving at James. James blushed and looked over Kendall's shoulder to wave at the girl.

"Go!" Kendall grumbled. She rolled her eyes and closed the door as she left.

"Now- where were we?" Kendall asked, turning back to James and kissing him.

James was fine with it until Kendall's fingers wandered to James's zipper.

"Babe-" James said, pulling his face away. Kendall pouted down at James.

"Not here." James said. "Come stay the night at my place. Then we can have all the fun we want."

"Let's go. Right now." Kendall said excitedly, jumping up off of James excitedly.

"I've never seen you this way." James said curiously.

"I've never been in love before." Kendall said smartly. "It's an extraordinary feeling. It makes me happy. YOU make me happy."

* * *

"I'm SO sorry I didn't call." Carlos said, brows upturned. "I've just been really busy."

"Too busy to even TEXT me? I simple- 'Hey, I'm still alive. Don't worry about me.' would do." Logan grumped, arms crossed as they sat on Logan's porch.

"I meant to." Carlos sighed. "But with dad and James... It's been stressful. But I swear- tonight I'm all yours."

Carlos cuddled up to Logan, who was turned away.

"Can't you just let me be mad at you?" Logan grumped.

"I don't like people to be mad at me." Carlos said, wrapping his arms around Logan's waist and rubbing his cheek on his shoulder.

"I love you." Carlos chirped sweetly.

"Yeah, yeah." Logan sighed, turning to take Carlos under his arm. "But little do you know, I love you more."

Carlos smiled as Logan bent his neck to kiss him.

* * *

"Look... This is gonna sound weird... But I don't know how this whole... Gay sex thing goes." James said, embarrassed.

"Me either.." Kendall responded.

James picked up his Apple laptop on sat on the floor, since Rusty was on the bed, and Kendall sat next to him.

"What're you doing?" Kendall asked, head on James's shoulder.

"Inspiration." James explained, typing something in to Google.

"Woah-" Kendall said, covering his eyes as a whole page of gay porn came up.

James laughed and scrolled down.

"What're you talking about? This is beautiful." James teased. "Oh my god- it's us!"

He clicked on a video with a cover picture of a blonde guy getting it by a brunette.

"I'm not sure I'm okay with this." Kendall said, watching as they stripped each other on the screen.

"Fine, don't watch." James said.

Kendall watched anyway as the couple did EVERYTHING possible. Kendall felt his pants get tighter and brought his knees to his chest to hide it.

James, however, found nothing arousing about the video. They were rough with each other, which is something James didn't believe in. He though smooth, beautiful sex was better. He knew Kendall couldn't control what was going on with him, though.

After the video was over and both were covered in cum, James put the computer aside.

"I'll never be that rough with you." James said. "That was brutal."

"That looked like... Like it hurt." Kendall said, scared.

"But I'll be slow and steady and gentle." James whispered.

"You- aren't- hard..." Kendall noted awkwardly.

"That was more offensive than sexy to me." James said. "But you know... You could make me hard."

Kendall bit his lip in thought.

"If I strip for you, will you strip for me?" he asked.

"Of course." James smiled. "It's only fair."

* * *

Logan was looking forward to getting some action that night, but after they ate pizza, Carlos fell asleep on the couch.

He felt like a creep, but Logan couldn't help but watch Carlos in his slumber {to avoid an unnecessary rhyme}. He was curled up against the arm of the couch, head leaned against the back cushion. His dark lashes casted a shadow over his smooth cheeks, his lips completely relaxed instead of formed in a huge smile as usual. His nostrils flared peacefully as he breathed, his chest rising slowly.

After several minutes of just admiring his own Sleeping Beauty, Logan was startled to see those familiar lips twitch, then the nose. Finally Carlos's black eyes opened and he smiled.

"Are you watching me?" Carlos asked sleepily.

"I can't help it." Logan said with a smile. "You're so innocent looking when you sleep."

"You happen to be very cherubic when you sleep, too." Carlos said, shifting to get more comfortable.

"You watch me?"

Carlos laughed and bit his lip.

"You're too cute not to watch." he admitted. "Will you pop in a movie and lay with me?"

Logan smiled and kissed Carlos lightly on the cheek before blindly choosing a DVD and putting it in the DVD player. It turned out to be Bridge to Terabithia, but Logan didn't care. He just loved to feel Carlos's warmth pressed to his back. He loved to way Carlos held his hand when they cuddled. Soon he felt the Latino had fallen back to sleep against his back and he soon followed.

* * *

James sat, hugging his knees as he watched Kendall nervously stand before him.

"C'mon babe. Loosen up- it's just me." he whined.

"Exactly- it's just you. You're the only one I care about impressing." Kendall said.

"Fine- be that way. But just saying- I'm a natural stripper. So if you don't do it, I won't either." James said.

"Okay, okay. Sit the hell down." Kendall sighed. "And prepare for the worst strip tease you've ever experienced."

James smiled and told Rusty to leave. He didn't want the dog to experience this- it was disturbing. The dog reluctantly left and Kendall closed the door behind him.

**I'm sorry to leave off there! I'll update soon!**

**Would you guys absolutely hate me if I made the next chapter just like... Full on smut? **

**Review- let me know what you think.**

**OH and I have a poll up about my next story. I'm out of ideas. SO, you guys can give me the most random title ever, vote for the next couple, and I'll choose one and make it work. :) This'll be fun.**


	20. THE REAL Green Boas & Kinky Discoveries

**Oh my god, guys. I'm so sorry- this actually happened for my other story, too. Everyone was confused. I swear neither of them was on purpose- I'M SO SORRY.**

**So, I hope this awesome chapter makes up for it. Sorry for the confusion.**

**P.S. nickinick94 - GAH! You're not supposed to see that. Guess you're a VIP reader for the moment :) You and all the others who are reading both. **

"It's fine. You're a sexy beast." James said encouragingly as Kendall slipped off his shirt. Kendall laughed and threw the shirt at his boyfriend.

"WOOO! Souvenir!" James hooted, swinging the shirt above his head.

Kendall rolled his eyes and unbuttoned his pants, letting them drop to the floor.

"There ya go." Kendall said, throwing his arms up. "Job done."

James tisked and crawled to his knees before Kendall.

"Nuh-uh." he said, playing with Kendall's waistband and kissing his bellybutton. "You forgot the best part."

Kendall smiled and stroked James's hair as he watched the bigger boy pull down his boxers with his teeth.

"Does it taste good?" James asked with a wink. "It looks delicious."

Without warning, James plunged Kendall's cock into his mouth, wetting it with his saliva, making Kendall's head fall back in pleasure.

"Scream for me, baby." James challenged.

Kendall let out a scream, ending in a groan.

"That's right." James smiled, pulling the cock from his mouth with a pop. "Now sit your pretty little ass down on the bed."

James disappeared into his closet, leaving Kendall naked on the bed, feeling awkward. Finally he returned with a fuzzy, extravagant lime green boa.

"Oh what the hell?" Kendall groaned. James bit his lip flirtatiously, looping the boa around Kendall neck and stepping back. He then gripped the bottom hem of his t-shirt and slipped it off over his head. Kendall couldn't help but smile a little at the sight of James's abs- the abs he had for God knows what reason. All the kid ever did was sit around and eat!

"Oh- my Kenny likes my bod?" James said, wiggling his brows and taking hold of the ends of the boa, pulling Kendall to his feet.

"You can touch if you want. It's what I'm for." James said in Kendall's ear before biting it.

"Oh yeah? The soul purpose of your existence is so that I have something to touch?" Kendall said smartly, running his hands over his boyfriend's warm stomach.

"Yup." James laughed, kissing the blonde's cheek as his fingers wondered down to unbutton his pants. Kendall couldn't help but notice that James was turning himself on with his strip tease.

James, thumbs hooked in his pants and boxers, wiggled his hips slowly and his pants and underwear came down- showing that he was already quite ready for this.

"You skipped a step." Kendall pouted.

"I'm ready for you NOW." James said as Kendall's hand came down to cup in his hand the scolding hot erection his boyfriend had.

James giggled and kissed up Kendall's neck to his jaw and then his lips.

"I got something for you." he said, taking Kendall's hand and pulling him to the desk and opening the drawer. He riffled through pencils and headphones and a bunch of random stuff until he pulled out a little bottle of lube.

"So it won't hurt." James smiled.

"You're so sweet." Kendall cooed, mashing his lips into James's without warning. Then he took the bottle, opened it, and squeezed some into his palm.

"I'll help you out with this." he said and his eyes dropped to James's crotch. Then he took it in his hand, rubbing lube on it.

"That's the stuff." James whispered as he watched the blonde thoroughly lube him up. "You're so damn good at that."

"C'mon." Kendall said excitedly, taking James's hand and pulling him to the bed. When he tried to get on his hands and knees, James, pulled him back up and pushed him down on his back.

"I wanna see that sexy little face of yours." James said, kissing him before standing back up to position himself at Kendall's hole. Kendall bit his lip flirtatiously and took the boa from his neck to swing it over James's.

"Do it." he challenged.

"It'll hurt." James said.

"I like pain. You know that." Kendall said, but without warning, James thrust in slowly. Kendall's neck arch back as he almost bit a hole in his lip. Sure- James was really slickened up, but he was also big. And Kendall's ass wasn't used to having things put in it. James stopped once he reached the base and waited for Kendall to relax.

After only a few seconds, Kendall let out a breath and let his neck relax. He tugged on the boa in his hands and James bent down to kiss him. Then James's face fell to Kendall's neck, kissing it as he pulled out and thrust in slowly.

Kendall's cold hands rested on James's sides- running his fingers over the bumps of his boyfriend's ribs as they expanded rapidly.

"Faster." Kendall whispered into James's hair. James's thrusts began getting faster and faster until the bed began squeaking and even banging against the wall. No matter how much he tried to avoid sounding dumb with squealing like a pig, a loud groan was let out.

"Oh my GOD you're so good at that." he groaned, feeling James's hot breaths getting faster against his neck. Suddenly, there was a hand around his cock and he gripped James's sides in pleasure.

"Easy." James laughed, running the tip of his tongue along Kendall's collarbone.

Kendall tried to say something, but couldn't even think of words to say. All he could think of was the intense pleasure shooting through him.

"Your ass- it's so perfect." James said. "It's like- forget it. I'll tell you what it's like another time."

"Thank you, love." Kendall said in a British accent- the one that always made James giggle.

"You know, I hear there's this spot-" James said, propping himself up on his hands on either side of Kendall's ribs. Then he repositioned himself and thrust in hard.

Suddenly, Kendall saw lights before his eyes, warmth spreading through his body, a mighty groan escaping his mouth.

"Oh- you like that?" James teased as he stopped thrusting.

"OH MY GOD!" Kendall yelled. "Do it again!"

"Do it again- ?" James questioned, looking for a 'please' and Kendall knew it.

"Do it again DAMMIT!" Kendall demanded. "I'm so fucking close- you don't even know!"

"Me, too." James said, and thrust in hard in the same spot.

Suddenly, scolding hot ropes of cum came shooting from Kendall all over James's stomach and the green feathers of the boa.

"You're so fucking sexy." James grunted, thrusting into his blonde boyfriend fast, as he was about to cum himself.

"Ready? Ready? Re-" suddenly, there was warm liquid in Kendall's ass and James burst out laughing.

Kendall didn't have time to react before James fell to the bed beside him, his laughter subsiding.

"What the hell is so funny?" Kendall asked, breathless.

"I'm sorry, baby." James laughed, then took at deep breath. "I laugh when I cum."

"Kinky." Kendall noted. "James Diamond- rich bitch who laughs when he cums."

"Yeah, well, you're the only one on this earth besides me who knows that. So treasure it dearly." James said.

**Review! :)**


	21. James in Love

**Guys... Freakin' Big Time Boyfriends? Best episode ever.**

**Examples:**

**Jo: How about that date? (or something like that- totally irrelevant. Who even listens to her anyway?)**

**Kendall: *stands up like a boss* You blew me off at the pool, at the park, then AGAIN at the pool.**

**(Haha- blowjobs. I bet Kendall caught that and sniggered at it. Cause he's Kendall and he's secretly 12.)**

**Example 2:**

***Logan and James are fighting and decide to duel at 11***

**Bitters: No blood- Palm Woods rules. (Again- who listens to him?)**

**Logan & James: *look at each other in confusion* Then what're we supposed to duel with?**

**((They're supposed to duel with their OTHER swords. WINK WINK.)) **

**I'm convinced James & Logan then Carlos & Kendall are gay together. There's like cold hard evidence in the video, Loser Like Me / Big Time Rush & Victorious on youtube. Don't have to watch the whole thing, but Carlos and Kendall hold hands at the very end & Toward the middle Logan and James do the Titanic thing on the top of a building. LEGIT. :)**

**Okay. Now back to the stuff you came here to read.**

* * *

"Dude! I called you like ten times last night!" Carlos whined as he and James went to James's room.

"I'm sorry! I was-"

"With Kendall. Yeah, yeah." Carlos grumbled.

It was a week after James and Kendall first did the dirty and already they had done it twice more.

"I'm sorry, okay?"

"Whatever." Carlos sighed.

"I know I've been neglecting you... But Car- I'm in love. All I wanna do it be with him. And I DO miss hanging with you." James said as they at on the bed.

"I get it, okay? I know that after you fuck someone you have this bond with them forever."

"I didn't tell you that we did that." James said, confused.

"It's obvious. You're like... Eleventy Billion times happier nowadays." Carlos laughed. "So tell me about it."

"No way!"

"James! We're BEST FRIENDS. Or we WERE-"

"ARE. Forever."

"Okay." Carlos laughed. "Anyway, I know that you have a weakness for cheese and that you secretly love Mario Lopez and that you have a low arch in your foot that causes back pain sometimes. I know EVERYTHING. So spill."

James gave him an unconvinced look.

"Okay. I'll start, then." Carlos said smartly. "It was the night of the day that I found you and Kendall in your underwear in your bed. The first time. And I was really rough on him-"

"Wait- YOU were rough on HIM?"

"Yeah, yeah. So I was on top- let's move on." Carlos mocked. "Anyway, I acted like I was a teacher and he was my student. And-"

"Ew! I don't care!"

"You have to know so that you'll tell me!"

"I'll tell you, I'll tell you! Just STOP!" James pleaded.

"Okay. Go." Carlos said.

"The first time was last weekend- Saturday. We were at his house and he kind TRIED, but I told him no. Cause Katie was RIGHT next door. So we came here. We looked at some stuff on the internet- it was gross, but I didn't know what I was doing. Then we... We did it. And that's it." James shrugged.

"WHERE did you do this?"

"On the bed."

Carlos jumped up, disgusted, and shuddered.

"I changed the sheets!" James laughed.

"Did you laugh?" Carlos asked.

"Laugh? -"

"When you came?"

"HOW did you know about that?" James asked defensively.

"I'm your best friend." Carlos shrugged. "PLUS you told me one night when you were asleep."

James, speechless, shook his head and laughed.

* * *

Kendall laid in his bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking.

About James.

And about sex.

Cause he's a teenaged boy.

And he was addicted to sex.

He thought about that first night. When James was all sexy like and couldn't contain himself.

Then he thought about Monday. When they were in James's backyard hammock and it was a complete surprise.

And how could he forget Friday? When he had been thinking about it all day and went straight to James's house after work and got fucked on the couch.

He wanted more. More of that beast of the horny James.

More of the urgency behind James's kisses.

More of those adorable giggles at the end of each blissful fuck.

Kendall noticed that James liked it fast. Not necessarily ROUGH, but fast. The last time, he went slow to conserve the moment. Conserve the beautiful time. Conserve himself for an extra ten minutes. Which made Kendall really sore- even now.

He thought about how James loved it when Kendall called him Jamie.

And how James talks in his sleep.

And how James sometimes made up an elaborate song for Kendall on the spot. About going to the store or about going to get a burger.

And how James probably had to shave twice a day to keep from looking scruffy, but never did.

James, James, James.

He was all Kendall could think about. Time for dinner- James loves green beans. Take a shower- gotta keep clean for James. Hear a funny joke- gotta remember that one to tell to James.

Lately he had been writing lots of songs. He wanted them all to be acoustic- but he didn't HAVE an acoustic. And Kendall couldn't sing them to James until they were perfected with the correct instrument.

* * *

"I gotta go." Carlos sighed, looking at his phone. "Logan wants me to come over."

"OOOOH."

"We're going to a MOVIE."

"Wah-POW!" James made a whip motion as he made the sound effect.

"Whatever. See ya."

"BYYYYYYYE!" James sang as Carlos left.

He sighed and looked at the ceiling from his place on the couch.

Before he knew it, he was up and out the door. He was headed to Kendall's.

He didn't know why he was going, but did he need a reason?

It was dark, but a bright bunch of wildflowers caught his eye and he picked a bunch. For Kendall? Gee- was Kendall really the flower type?

* * *

"Kendall! James is here!" Mrs. Knight called from downstairs and let James go up.

"Hey, you." Kendall smiled, leaping up.

"I dunno if you like flowers, but I thought they were pretty." James said, holding out the bunch of flowers.

Kendall laughed and took them, putting them carelessly into a cup of Mountain Dew on his desk. He was just glad James was here.

"I love em." Kendall said in a girly voice, making James laugh, then kiss him hungrily.

"Jamie?" Kendall asked, pulling back.

"What's wrong?" James asked.

"Nothing.. It's just that... Do you mind if we DON'T?" Kendall asked quietly. "It's just that... I'm sore. Really sore- I can barely sit right."

James's expression dropped for a second, then he smiled again.

"You don't even have to drop your pants." James said.

Kendall laughed and little.

"Let's just watch a movie. Is that okay?"

James was silent and Kendall could see the disappointment.

"Sure." James finally answered.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"You don't seem sure."

"Well... It's just that I was really looking forward to this."

"Booty call?"

James looked at his blondie in defense.

"No. You'll NEVER be a booty call." he growled.

"Babe- calm down. I was kidding. I'm KENDALL, remember?"

"It's not something to joke about."

Kendall sighed and sat on the bed.

"You were fine two minutes ago. Until I told you I didn't want to have sex."

"Just drop it, okay?" James snapped.

"No! Don't tell me to drop it!" Kendall said stongly, standing up. "Am I just a piece of ass to you? Is that all I am?"

"Why would you even say that?!"

"Because you came in here with flowers- in a great mood. And I tell you I don't wanna mess around right now and you completely turn around and get all defensive!"

"Kendall, I'm telling you! You're so much more than that!" James said angrily.

"Whatever." Kendall said, unconvinced, as he sat on the bed, arms crossed.

"Whatever? That's it?" James fumed. "Kendall!"

"Just sit down, okay?"

"I think I'm just gonna go home. If you're gonna be all paranoid, it won't be any fun."

"Fine! If you're gonna be a fucking satanic dickface, maybe I don't WANT you to be here."

With that, James stormed out of the room and out the front door.

As he was walking on the sidewalk, fuming, it began to pour down rain.

Hair plastered to his forehead within seconds, he only slowed his pase.

Did he just have his first real fight with Kendall?

Well- Kendall was all wrong. Did he even know how much the little blonde meant to him? How could he even say that James was using him for sex?

He was lost in thought.

He didn't hear the screeching of tires against the flooded street as the SUV attempted to dodge a scurrying cat.

But he DID feel the impact of the side of the skidding car as it hit him in the back at full speed.

**Cliffhanger! It's how I know you'll read the next chapter.**

**Review! :)**


	22. Can't Tell You Cause It'll Give It Away

Kendall was upset.

He and James had just had their first fight and he KNEW he was wrong. He wanted to call James and apologize.

Before he could call, he heard the screeching of a car's wheels on the street outside his house.

"The hell? Dumbass drivers." Kendall grumbled, looking out his window.

But the car was stopped now.

A teen girl stepped out of the car, hands over her mouth.

"HELP ME! SOMEONE HELP!" she screamed.

Kendall rolled his eyes and made his way downstairs moderately quickly. The girl probably popped a tire or something.

He stepped out into the rain and turned on the porch light.

"I HIT HIM! HELP ME!" the girl screamed to him.

Kendall's eyes fell to a form on the road. He walked over to them and as he got closer, he recognized the lump.

"JAMES!" he screamed, running to the body on the asphalt.

There was no blood- it was all washed away by the rain.

"Call an ambulance!" he ordered the girl as he got to his knees and pulled James's head into his lap.

"Jamie- c'mon, wake up." he said, crying now.

He felt James's jugular vein, feeling a weak throb.

"It'll be okay. It'll be fine. You'll be fine." Kendall said, rocking James gently as he cried.

Soon, Mrs. Knight, Katie, and all the neighbors were at the scene.

"Kendall-" Katie said gently, touching his shoulder.

"BACK UP! EVERYONE BACK UP!" Kendall yelled at the crowd.

"You're gonna go to the hospital and wake up and be okay. You'll be fine. You'll see." Kendall said to the unconscious James- more to himself than to James.

He felt James's breaths go shallower, pulse get weaker.

"WHERE THE FUCK IS THE AMBULANCE?!" Kendall snarled to the others. "HE'S DYING HERE!"

"Oh God!" the girl driver sobbed.

"Hang on, baby. Hang on- for me." Kendall sniffled. "You'll pull through."

Kendall couldn't let his last words to the love of his life be those calling James a "fucking satanic dickface" and telling him to leave. He couldn't live with himself.

"KENDALL!" Kendall heard someone yell. Carlos pushed through the crowd.

"Oh my god." Carlos said weakly, falling to his knees.

"He's- he's- he's dying." Kendall sobbed.

"No- no way." Carlos said, tearing up himself. "He's James. He'll pull through."

Kendall was trembling terribly. He couldn't take losing another loved one.

Finally, the sound of sirens filled the air along with red and blue lights.

"They're gonna take care of you, Jamie." Kendall said between sobs. "It'll be okay."

He climbed into the ambulance as it sped off with James.

The EMT took his weak pulse, inspected him, ETC.

"He's got a broken back." the EMT said.

"But he'll be okay, right?" Kendall asked tearfully.

The EMT was silent.

"This is the hardest part of my job." she said. "Are you his brother?"

"Boyfriend." Kendall sniffled.

"Well... He's not stable at all. We'll do all we can."

* * *

James remembers everything from that night.

He remembers the car hitting him.

He remembers him hitting the street, his head, a pain shooting up his back, and he just laid there. Unconscious, but conscious somehow.

He remembers hearing Kendall sobbing. Telling him it would be okay.

But it wouldn't. James could feel it. It wouldn't be okay.

Sweet, beautiful Kendall. Holding him. His tears falling on James's face with rainwater.

He wanted to take Kendall in his arms and tell him he loved him. Tell him goodbye.

He remembers being lifted into the ambulance, Kendall clutching his hand.

And he remembers his last thought.

Not really a thought, but a picture in his mind. Half a thought.

Kendall with his beloved guitar, singing. His lids were barren of eyeliner, the way they had been all summer. He was wearing the black flannel he wore on their first date. He grinned at James as he sang sweetly to him.

Then everything went black. And he didn't hear anything anymore. Didn't feel anything anymore.

* * *

Kendall couldn't breathe as he stared down at James. There was blood surfacing to his skin where he had scraped it off on the road. His lids closed, lips relaxed, chest rising and falling slightly.

When he did breathe, it was in short gasps and sobs.

"He'll be okay, right?" Kendall asked the EMT.

"I really... I don't-"

Kendall shook his head angrily.

"You have to save him." he growled.

"He's already in critical condition-"

"Whatever."

Kendall put his cheek on James's sternum, tears and rainwater soaking his shirt even more.

He listened to the weak thud in there- the thuds that were getting quieter and farther apart by the beat.

He felt the slight raising of his stomach as he breathed. The breaths were barely sufficient to get oxygen through James's massive body.

And he sobbed.

And willed James to open those beautiful eyes and give Kendall a charming James grin.

But it didn't happen.

Nothing happened.

Then Kendall realized- NOTHING happened.

No more breaths.

No more weak thud.

No more James.

"NO." Kendall said, jumping up. "SAVE HIM, DAMMIT!"

Just then, the ambulance stopped and the doors slung open.

And James was taken from Kendall's grasp.

Kendall couldn't watch them attempt to save him with the electric paddles. He knew it was too late.

He sat on the bench outside in the pouring rain, hugging his knees, sobbing.

Unable to control it.

Unable to breathe.

Unable to talk.

"What- what happened?" Carlos asked innocently, sitting beside him when he finally arrived.

Kendall was crying much too hard to say anything.

"Oh my God-" Carlos said, bolting to the door.

Kendall wished James woke up just once.

Long enough to let Kendall fix his last words. Make them "I love you" and not "You're a fucking satanic dickface".

"How is he?" came a voice and Kendall looked up to see the girl who was driving the car that killed his boyfriend.

"He's dead. FUCKING DEAD. Because of you." Kendall said, standing up angrily. "BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T DRIVE LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING."

The girl began to cry.

And a hand took Kendall's wrist and pulled him away.

"Kendall, what happened?" Mrs. Knight asked.

"He died in the ambulance." Kendall said, losing it all over again.

Mrs. Knight took him in her arms and petted his hair as he trembled and sobbed and sniffled.

"Make it stop, mom. Make all the pain stop. I'm sick of pain. Sick of death." Kendall sobbed.

"I know, baby. Nobody deserves to go through what you have."

* * *

Carlos stared blankly at the body of his best friend there on the hospital bed.

He had never seen James so still.

And finally reality set in.

James is dead.

Dead.

DEAD.

Forever.

"Baby?" Logan asked lightly, touching Carlos's wrist.

He put his cheek on Carlos's shoulder, looking down at James. He wasn't all that close with James at all. Sure, they had their fun times. But he wasn't besties with him or anything like that.

"How could this happen?" Carlos asked absently.

"Accidents happen, Car." Logan said sympathetically.

"This was all my fault." Carlos said. "If I hadn't left, this woulda never happened."

"We could all find ways to blame ourselves." Logan said. "But you know that he would never want you to."

"Oh, God. He's DEAD." Carlos said suddenly and fell to the ground, crying.

Logan held him and stroked his hair, feeling a lump in his throat in all the sadness.

* * *

"Hello?" Mrs. Diamond answered from her hotel room in Colorado.

"Mrs. Diamond?" came a voice. "This is Jennifer Knight. There's been an accident."

"What kind of accident?" Mrs. Diamond asked, straightening up.

"Your son- James. He was hit by a car." Jennifer said quietly.

"What?" Mrs. Diamond asked in disbelief.

"I'm sorry. He- he didn't make it."

Mrs. Diamond, unconvinced, hung up and dialed James's phone number.

"Hello?" came a hoarse voice on the other line.

"Carlos! Let me talk to James." Mrs. Diamond said.

"You can't. He's dead." Carlos said, losing it and hanging up.

The iPhone in Mrs. Diamond's hands slipped away as she stared at the floor.

And cried.

For the first time in years.

**I know! I almost cried just writing this.**

**PLEASE don't ride me for this. You guys can be feisty! It makes me feel horrible!**

**I gotta say, I wasn't planning on this. I wasn't planning on James getting hit. It just happened.**

**Then I was bouncing back an forth between "do I kill him or not?"**

**But I like tragedies. They're run to write.**

**I'm sorry.**

**Don't hate me.**

**Review?**

**(I'm scared of what you guys'll say.)**


	23. The Funeral

**Dear guys,**

**Gee, I'm glad I'm on all your hit lists.  
I just wanted to let you know that I have a crazy twist that might possibly happen at the end.  
You may love it,  
You may hate it.  
I'm just glad you guys don't know where I live.  
Right? 0.0  
Cause if you did I would have been brutally slaughtered by now.  
As if I wasn't by your cruel words already.**

The door opens to Kendall's bedroom and light pours into the dark room. Kendall had FINALLY fallen asleep and was angry at the person for waking him- probably Katie or Mrs. Knight.

"Go away." Kendall grumbles.

"Baby? What's wrong?" comes a familiar voice. Kendall looks up to see a familiar body moving toward him.

"Jamie?" he asks, slowly getting up.

"Who else would I be?" James laughs, hugging Kendall tight.

Kendall doesn't ask questions. He just clutches James to him as if James will disappear if he lets go.

"You're back." Kendall says in pure bliss.

"I never went anywhere, babe." James laughs. "I'll always be right here with you."

"Don't ever leave me again. Okay?"

"Whatever you want."

Kendall inhales the sweet James aroma of the shirt on the taller boy's chest. He touches the muscles on his back. Presses their hips together. He's so real.

"I love you, Jamie." Kendall says quietly.

"I love you, too, Kenny." James says in Kendall's ear.

"You- you were dead. You got hit by a car."

"It was just a bad dream, baby." James says as he tries to back away from the embrace.

"No." Kendall begs. "Don't go."

So James laughs and hugs Kendall some more, his cheek pressed against the blonde's hair.

* * *

Kendall woke up and stared into the darkness before him. There was no warm brunette in his arms. His heart sunk and immediately tears spilled from Kendall's eyes.

Kendall sat up in his bed and gripped his hair as his stomach growled furiously. Kendall hadn't eaten or drunk anything for 3 days.

In the past three days, he has slept twice- for and hour and a half total. Both times he had dreams about James. Both times he woke up with his heart broken. He wished he could never wake from his dreams or never dream at all.

Lately sleep has been torture. Kendall couldn't handle dreams right now.

So he stayed up all night. Thinking about suicide. He was already pretty close to death from food, water, and sleep deprivation.

* * *

"He was- he was such a great guy. He didn't deserve this." Carlos said, in a ball in Logan's lap, as he sobbed. It was 4 am. Logan hadn't parted from Carlos for three days- hadn't slept more than 4 hours total.

He hated to see Carlos sad. Carlos was like a child. His sobs and whimpers were so innocent, they broke your heart. So much so, that Logan found himself crying sometimes as he tried to comfort his little Latino.

"I know, Car, Baby." Logan said sleepily. "But it's 4 am. You've gotta be tired, right?"

"Yeah." Carlos sniffled.

Logan moved through the darkness to lay beside Carlos, who immediately clung to his side.

"It's gonna be hard to go to the funeral tomorrow." Carlos sniffled. "I wonder how Kendall's doing."

"Me, too." Logan said. "If he's not there tomorrow... We need to check on him."

But it was too late. Carlos was long gone by the time Logan said this, and Logan did the same. But it was only a matter of hours that Carlos was awake again.

* * *

"Kendall?" Katie asked quietly, coming into his room in his black dress. Kendall was sitting absently on his bed in his underwear, but he didn't care.

"You should be getting ready." she said, sitting next to him.

"I don't think I'm gonna go."

"You have to go. He loved you, you loved him." she said, hugging his arm.

"Katie... Nobody knows this, but he left here before the accident because we were fighting. I called him a horrible name before he left." Kendall said softly. "And those were my last words to him."

"Oh, Kenny." Katie sighed. "I think that James knew that you still loved him. He'll always know that. And you know what? I bet he died thinking about you."

"Yeah, thinking about how horrible of a boyfriend I am." Kendall said as a tear streaked his cheek.

"But you nonetheless." she said. "So c'mon- put on your suit."

"I'm not putting on a suit." Kendall said simply. "James wouldn't want me to go in a suit. He always loved that black flannel- I wore it on our first date."

* * *

Kendall sat in the back corner seat of the funeral as everyone gave a speech about James. he was numb- unable to think. He had his feet up on the seat, hugging his knees, rocking himself slightly.

Carlos was too torn up to give a speech and nobody had even seen Kendall, so Logan gave a speech.

"I didn't know James too much, but I considered him a close friend. Way back when- I brought him his homework. And then he invited me over to help him, which I found really cool, since I didn't have many friends. And there I met my boyfriend- his best friend, Carlos. And what I learned about James in those few months is that he's a really sweet and sensitive guy. And he's deaf. And he loves dogs. He told me that one day he might have wanted to do something with dogs for a living. But most of all, I learned that James is seriously the best guy I ever knew. He didn't lie, didn't cheat, didn't do drugs or drink, and he was so loyal to Carlos as his boyfriend, Kendall, and even me. So, I speak for Carlos, Kendall, and me. We're gonna really miss you, James. You were a big part in all of our lives and it's such a huge bummer that you had to go so young."

Kendall sighed and laid his cheek on his knees. Mrs. Diamond was up there sobbing. Like she cared if James existed anymore- she barely cared that he was left home alone for weeks at a time with his boyfriend. Logan returned to Carlos, who was crying, and hugged him.

He was the last to walk by the casket.

James looked so peaceful there in the casket in his black suit. Makeup covered his scrapes. His hair was combed. His fingernails were manicured.

Kendall couldn't look at him anymore. He closed his eyes painfully and stormed back to his seat.

"We've got food in the back-" Mrs. Diamond began.

Just this little bit made Kendall furious. FOOD at his James's funeral? Like it's some sort of cocktail party?! He got up and left.

* * *

Kendall didn't go to the burial. It would be WAY too painful.

But he did go to the grave a few hours after he was officially buried. Kendall picked a bunch of wildflowers- the way James did for him that last night.

The big black marble gravestone was really pretty. So Mrs. Diamond did something right after all.

_James Dylan Diamond_

_July 16, 1994- July 23rd, 2012_

There were extravagant pink flowers on either side.

Kendall sat next to the big mound where they just threw dirt over the red oak casket and faced it, putting his flowers on top. It was a pretty, sunny day. Just the type of day James lived for.

"Hey, Jamie." Kendall said, hugging his knees. "I'm sorry I didn't come to the burial. But I wanted to tell you... I'm sorry that I got mad at you that night. I can't help but feel- can't help but KNOW- that if I hadn't got mad, you would be here now. Well, you wouldn't be HERE, but you'd be on Earth."

A slight breeze blew through Kendall's hair as a tear escaped his eyes.

"And I hate that the very last words you ever heard was me calling you a fucking satanic dickface. I should have never even got mad. It was a dumb reason to be mad, too. Cause you know what? Even if I WAS just a sex toy to you... I don't think I would mind so much. Cause at least you ACTED like you really loved me. And I think that's all I really needed." Kendall said. "And... If I hadn't met you, I think I would've been dead by now. I was in so much pain when we met. Jamie... I was gonna kill myself that very night. Then you made me happy again. But it was for the worse. Cause it was either me or you in this grave. And if we hadn't met, it would be me. And that's the better alternative."

Kendall sniffled and wiped away his tears.

"And now I'm sitting here, getting my ass all dirty. But I wish you were here. So I could tell you all this. Even if you could come back for three seconds, all I want to say takes three seconds. Three words- three seconds. I love you."

Kendall sat there until it was dark and the tacky solar powered lamps in front of the gravestone illuminating James's beautiful name came on.

"I'll come back every day and bring you new flowers." Kendall said, getting up. "I'll see you in my dreams, baby."

**If you're ever doing an acting audition, there's your heartfelt monologue right there. You're welcome.**

**I know you guys hate me for killing James. I do, too. BUT there are still chapters yet to come. So stick around. Unless you hate to be sad. In which case, suck it up and keep reading.**

**Review**


	24. I'll See You In A While, Okay?

Kendall wasn't gonna go to school on that first day- August 8th. But Carlos and Logan came by early to force him up, put clothes on him, and pull him out to Kendall's car, which Carlos drove. Kendall didn't care that Carlos had zero driving experience. He didn't care that he didn't have a schedule of his classes. He didn't care that he was without eyeliner in a place that nobody knew what he really looked like.

Carlos was still really bummed out. He was afraid that he would cry a lot today- since people would be asking him about James. But he had Logan by his side. Logan- his sturdy rock.

Kendall had been given a schedule, but he didn't go to his classes. For the first three periods, he sat there in front of James's old locker, which had cheesy posters of farewells from people James despised, and stared at the wall.

Until forth period.

Jenny Tinkler stopped in front of him and squatted there.

"Hey." she said through the loudness of the teens around them. Kendall just stared at her blankly.

"Can I see your schedule?"

Kendall took the paper from his pocket and held it out.

"C'mon. You have Calculus with me." she said, pulling him up.

As he was pulled through the crowd, he saw the eyes turn to him. He wanted to scream, but was silent. He realized he hasn't talked for days.

"Sit here." she said and Kendall sat in the suggested spot as Jenny sat beside him.

"I'm really sorry about James." she said soothingly, taking his hand in both of hers. Kendall pulled his hand away and stared ahead.

"You don't have a pencil or notebook or anything." she said. Kendall shrugged.

Class began and their new teacher, Mrs. Franklin- an old hag of like... 312 years old- started talking, but Kendall didn't listen.

"Oh my god- it's emo!" a kid in front of them whispered to his buddy and they laughed along with the others around them. "Where's your makeup, emo? Where's your hardcore black clothes?"

Kendall realized that Logan put him in a white t-shirt and the lightest jeans he owned.

Suddenly, Jenny put a piece of paper and pen in front of him.

"We're supposed to write something about ourselves." she explained.

"You can write that your name is Emo Fag and you love sucking cock!"

Kendall, unphased, took the pen and wrote something on the paper.

_**I FUCKING HATE EVERYONE HERE AND I'M CONTEMPLATING KILLING THEM ALL.**_

And he got up, gave the paper to the teacher, and simply left.

He got out the front doors before he was suddenly tackled.

And he fell to the ground, his arms twisted behind his back.

"You're going to jail!" someone yelled in his ear. It was a security guy. So Mrs. Franklin told them about his little "threat".

* * *

"Threatening the SCHOOL?" Mrs. Knight lectured as she drove her and Kendall home from the jail. She had bailed him out, but Kendall wasn't allowed back at school. "What were you thinking?"

Kendall was silent.

"I understand that you hurt a lot right now, but you can't do things like that." she said.

* * *

Logan visited him that night. Not with Carlos- it was just him.

"I heard what happened." Logan said, sitting on the ground before Kendall's bed, which Kendall was face down in.

"You know, I thought that people had the common sense not to make fun of DEAD people." Kendall said. "Especially not in front of people who were close to them."

"I know. But people are dumb, you know?" Logan said, proud of himself for getting Kendall to talk.

"I thought things were supposed to get better after a few weeks. But it still hurts just as much." Kendall said.

"It WILL get better. Someday."

"What am I supposed to do a year from now? When everyday feels like the other? And everywhere looks just the same? When every dream seems like forever? And I'm a face without a name?"

"I- I don't know." Logan said.

"Thanks for stopping by." Kendall grumbled.

"Just remember... Don't look down or look back. It's not that far to go."

"Bye, Logan."

"See ya."

And with that, Logan left.

Kendall realized that he didn't give James his daily flowers, so he got up, leaving his phone, and left.

* * *

"I'm sorry I'm late." Kendall said, placing the flowers on the mound of dirt that was sprouting grass now. He sat down in his usual spot.

"First day of school and I was already kicked out. I apparently threatened the school. Well- I DID threaten the school. But you'd be disappointed in me if I told you what happened, so I wont." Kendall sighed. "I miss you like crazy. But I've made a decision."

Then he got up.

"Sorry to leave so soon. But I'll see you in a while, okay?"

* * *

"I think we need to go to Kendall's." Logan said to Carlos as they sat on his couch.

"Why?"

"Cause he's not doing so good. I'm scared he'll- you know- try to OFF himself."

"No way. He's fine." Carlos said reassuringly. "If I can get through this, so can he."

"I dunno-"

"Trust me. All he needs now is some space." Carlos said.

* * *

Kendall came into his house.

"Where have you been?" Mrs. Knight scowled.

"Graveyard." Kendall said, kissing his mom's cheek.

"I wish you'd have told me. I called you like five times to come eat dinner."

"I'm not hungry. I think I'll go to bed."

"Okay. Night."

"I love you, mom." Kendall said.

Mrs. Knight smiled. He rarely ever said this anyways, but she was happy to see that he was mending.

"I love you too, Kendall."

Next, he went to Katie's room and sat next to her on her bed. She was painting her nails and she looked at him, confused.

"What're you doing?" she asked.

"Just came to see my baby sister." he said. "And tell her goodnight."

"Well... Goodnight." she said.

"Night. I love you."

"Um- yeah. Love you, too." she said, a little creeped out, as he left.

Kendall went into the bathroom and rummaged through the medicine cabinet.

Ah, yes. Sleeping pills. Just what he needed.

There were twenty in the bottle.

He swallowed them all.

Then he went into his room, turned out the lights, laid in his bed, and stared at the ceiling.

_Why, Kenny? _came a familiar voice in his head. James.

_I would have waited for you._

_You're too young to die._

_You've got your whole life ahead of you._

_Go to the hospital. _

_Call 911._

_DO IT NOW, KENDALL DONALD._

_NOW._

_NOW._

_Now._

_now-_

Kendall felt his heartbeat slow down.

_But death is so peaceful. _he thought.

_Kenny, PLEASE. _James's imaginary voice said.

_I'm coming, baby. Be ready to hug me. _Kendall thought as his eyes drifted closed.

The feeling of Kendall's heart coming to a stop was one of the strangest things he'd ever experienced.

His final breath was a peaceful one.

And the light overtook him.

* * *

**Okay. One. More. Chapter.**

**I KNOW IT'S SAD.**

**But this isn't the twist.**

**Review? **

**I'm scared...**


	25. Reunited Sort of?

Kendall felt as if his body was cradled as he was pulled to heaven. Or Hell. He didn't hear James's voice anymore, didn't feel anything.

But finally he felt as if he were set down.

And there was pressure. He felt familiar arms wrapped around him. James. James was hugging him in greeting.

He opened his eyes, expecting to smell that familiar smell, see James's shoulder, hear James's voice- "I missed you, Baby.", feel their hearts pound in unison.

But all he saw was white.

Ahead of him was a white padded wall.

He was laying on a white padded floor.

The knees that were brought to his chest were covered in scratchy white cloth.

What a strange heaven.

Maybe he would be taken to James soon.

Suddenly, there was a creaky sound and a door was opened.

And there was someone kneeling in front of him.

"You're awake." Mrs. Knight said in relief, stroking his hair.

"Mom? You're- you're dead, too?" Kendall asked, confused.

"You're not dead, sweetie." she said, stroking his hair. "Although you've been close."

"Where's James?" Kendall demanded. He tried to get up, but his arms were bound around him. He was wearing a... Straightjacket? Strange heaven indeed.

"Who's James?"

Kendall pulled back as best he could.

"Mom?" he asked, confused and concerned. "You know James. James DIAMOND? My boyfriend?"

"Honey, I don't know a James Diamond." she said, shaking her head.

Kendall struggled and Mrs. Knight helped him up.

"Will someone explain to me what's going on here?" he demanded.

He got no straight answer until Katie came in, replacing Mrs. Knight.

"Sit down, Kendall." she said and they sat on the ground.

"After dad died... You went crazy. Literally. So we were forced to put you in here." she said. "You made up this character- James? You kept mumbling stuff about him. And sometimes it got a little bit... Rated M. I think you made him up to compensate for Dad's death."

"Katie- listen to me. His name is James Diamond. He lives on Lovette Lane- the huge white house. You know which one I'm talking about." Kendall said sternly. "But he died. Got hit by a car in front of our house. Please- go get his mom, Brooke Diamond- if she's there. She'll tell you all about it."

* * *

Katie knocked on the door to the huge white house.

An old man answered it.

"Hi, my name is Katie." she said. "Do you happen to know a Brooke or James Diamond?"

"No. Go away." the man grumped, then slammed the door shut.

* * *

Kendall sat in the corner of the room, waiting.

_Is this heaven? If so... Where's my Jamie? And why are Mom and Katie here?_

The door finally swung open and Katie walked over to sit with her brother.

"Did you find her?" Kendall asked.

"Kendall... There's just an old man living in that house." she said.

"That's impossible."

"It's true."

"Gimme your phone."

Once Katie had the phone, she went to the town's phone book.

_Brooke Diamond _is what she was ordered to type in.

_Sorry- no results found._

_James Diamond_

_Sorry- no results found._

_Carlos Garcia_

_Sorry- no results found._

_Sylvia Garcia_

_Logan Mitchell _

Kendall's breathing quickened as he began to cry.

"Katie- I was dating this guy- James Diamond- for months. We were in love. He took my virginity. His best friend, Carlos, and his boyfriend, Logan, were our friends. James got hit by a car and died."

"There's no record of a car accident or a death or a James Diamond for that matter." she said, looking up from her phone.

"Quit fucking around, Katie. This is serious." Kendall growled, getting up. The guards at the door quickly removed Katie from the room and shut the door tight and Kendall formed into a little ball in the middle of the room and thought.

James IS real. As real as real gets. Kendall felt his warmth- felt his kisses- felt his love the ended in giggles- felt his breath on the back of his neck when they slept- felt his hand encased in his. There's no way he WASN'T real.

And what about Carlos and Logan? He'd definitely made some sort of contact with them before. They were real, too. He knew it.

He began trembling.

He had gone crazy? After his dad's death?

So he had been in here for quite a few months.

In his own little world in his mind.

With a fake boyfriend.

And fake friends.

And fake classmates.

And fake everything.

The happiest months of his life-

Were completely fake.

Realization was setting in.

He would never see James again.

Never see Carlos or Logan again.

He got up, a rage rising inside him.

His breathing quickened and he slammed himself into a padded wall, then another one, and another one. All the while, he was screaming as if he were being murdered. He finally fell to the ground, trying to dig his nails into the ground. They had cut his nails all the way down.

Kendall wanted to scream words, but he had no idea what to say.

He gripped his hair and pulled his head to join the ball that was his body.

And he cried.

Suddenly, there was a sharp pain in his side.

And he fell asleep.

* * *

Kendall woke up a while later with those familiar arms around him.

For a split moment, he was deceived. He thought James was hugging him.

And then he opened his eyes.

_Has this straight jacket been James all along?_

"Could I talk to an official?" Kendall called, knowing they had cameras and microphones on him at all times.

A voice over a speaker came on.

"We're gonna send guards in to take you to a speaking room. Please stay calm."

Kendall laid there and waited.

Finally he was brought to his feet, two guards gripping his biceps, and brought out of the room.

Outside of his padded sanctuary, Gerette's was exactly like a hospital for sick people.

Well, he WAS a sick person.

All around him, he heard screams of agony, whimpers, cackles, and begging. He smells urine and antiseptics. A heavy feeling of depression laid over his shoulders.

He was set in a room with a glass window and telephone.

Oh god- is this PRISON or something?

He sat down, his arms were unbuckled from his sides, and he waited.

Finally, someone sat in the chair.

A familiar woman.

And took the telephone.

Kendall snatched his phone from its holder.

"Mrs. Diamond?!" he asked, eyes wide, smile on his face.

The woman's brows turned up.

"No, honey. I'm Janet Wilson. You know me." she said, shaking her head. "I'm your psychiatrist."

"Where's James?" he asked, looking behind her as if her son would be there. She turned, confused as to what he was looking at.

"Your SON? My boyfriend?" he asked.

"I don't have a son." she said. "I don't have KIDS."

"I wish you would quit fucking with me." Kendall said, suddenly angry.

"Kendall, I'm being serious."

Kendall stared at her for a while.

So he had seen this woman before.

Made her out as a horrible person- the one giving him injections and pills.

So she was the horrible mother.

"Do you know anyone who is tall- taller than me- really tan, really muscular, has pretty hazel eyes, longish dark brown hair, and the prettiest smile?" he asked, hoping she would say yes.

Maybe he had seen James before.

Maybe he wasn't James in real life, but he would look like him.

He was brought all around the hospital.

No James.

He was dropped off at his room, straight jacket removed.

Where he sat the rest of the night, not sleeping.

Until finally the door opened.

"Mister Knight? I have your medications." said a familiar voice.

Kendall looked up to see his James in blue scrubs, holding a silver tray.

"James?" he asked in disbelief, getting up.

James offered Kendall a little paper cup of pills and another of water.

"Will you just- just hug me?" Kendall asked.

James laughed and put the cups and tray on the ground, embracing Kendall.

"I'm always open to giving free hugs to the patients. I feel like some of them really need it." James said.

"I missed you, Jamie." Kendall said, cheek on James's shoulder.

"Who's Jamie?" James asked.

"You, silly." Kendall laughed.

"My name is Ryan. You know this." James laughed.

Kendall pulled away.

"No. You're James Diamond." Kendall said.

"Oh- wait. Crap..." James, or "Ryan" said. "So... I'm THE James Diamond?"

"What do you mean? Of course you are." Kendall said.

"I always heard you calling me James when I gave you your medications... But I didn't know I was THE James." "James" laughed. "I think it's sweet, really. But you should know- I'm married."

"James" held up his hand to show a golden wedding band.

"Take your pills. You'll feel better." "James" suggested, giving Kendall his pills and water. Kendall swallowed the pills and "James" left, although Kendall begged him not to.

* * *

Kendall woke up the next morning to the door opening and he was taken to a cafeteria.

A healthy, yet disgusting looking meal was set before him.

Then Carlos sat in front of him.

"Hey, buddy. Glad we could eat out here for once. Feeling better?" Carlos asked.

"I know I'm gonna be looked at like... Well, like I'm crazy. But Carlos?" Kendall asked.

"No, silly. I'm Antonio. You're Breakfast Buddy?"

"You're Carlos Garcia."

"No. I know that's who I am in your head, which I'm totally cool with. But out here in reality, I prefer Antonio." Carlos smiled. "But hey- sorry to leave so early on your first day out, but I've got school."

"So- you don't live here?"

"No. I volunteer here as a Breakfast Buddy. See you tomorrow." Carlos smiled, getting up, slinging a backpack over his shoulder, and leaving.

Antonio. Wow.

Kendall wondered when he'd run in to Logan.

His wonders were answered when he was put into a doctor's examining room.

"So I hear you've been slamming yourself into walls lately." said a voice and Logan turned in his swivel chair with his clip board. Kendall was sitting on the examining table. "Don't worry- that's why they're padded. I just gotta check out your bruises."

"So what's YOUR name?" Kendall asked curiously as Logan examined the bruising on his arms.

"Doctor William Turner." Logan smiled. "You've seen me a few times, right? Like when you first got here? Or that time you had the flu a few months back?"

"All the characters I made up in my head... They're all real people. Except they don't have the same names."

"Who was I?"

"You were Logan Mitchell." Kendall said. "And you were dating Carlos. Who turned out to be Antonio, my 'Breakfast Buddy'."

Logan laughed and shook his head.

"I'm not so much into pedophilism." Logan said. "But I AM gay. So you got that right."

Suddenly, someone came in.

Jenny Tinkler.

"Doctor Turner? You've got a call." she said. She was wearing scrubs and she waved at Kendall with a friendly smile.

"What about her?" Logan asked.

"Jenny Tinkler. She went to my school."

"Actually, my name is Vanessa." she smiled.

* * *

Kendall was set in his room once again.

He began living off of those late nights when James/"Ryan" would come in to give him his medicines.

Kendall never accepted that he would never have his nurse. Never accepted that he was married to a WOMAN.

He lived off of hugs, which James/"Ryan" was happy to give.

Sometimes the nurse would stay a while to listen to stories Kendall told him about what happened in his little crazy dreams between them. James/"Ryan" never judged or laughed.

Kendall told Carlos/"Antonio" all about what happened in his "dream". Carlos laughed at the fact that he and Kendall's doctor had hooked up, but it was a friendly laugh.

Sometimes Kendall would hurt himself just to go see Logan/"Dr. Turner". He wasn't close to Logan in his dream, but he was happy to see him again.

When they talked about releasing him, Kendall would act crazy some more. If he left, he would never see James again. Or Carlos or Logan.

So he never left.

And he was perfectly content.

With living in his crazy little world.

**Fin.**

* * *

**I know. CRAZY, right?**

**I hope you guys loved it.**

**Now I'm off to start another project- coming soon to a computer near you.**

**Check it out please!**

**Review!**

**I wanna see how many people actually read this to the end.**


	26. Three Years Later

**Totally random, but I was reading through the reviews on this, and realized it WAS a shit ending. So I wrote this to make you guys and myself feel a little better about it. Mazwell, right? I lost a crapload of followers because of this ending, so I wanted to kinda make it better. I hope you love it.**

**And I'm sorry if I accidentally say "James" instead of "Ryan" a few times. And keep in mind that Ryan IS the James you know and love, but he isn't. Get it? Eh.**

* * *

"Kendall, you've been here for three years. It's time you left." Dr. Wilson said seriously from her desk. "Just sign the paper."

"No. I won't." Kendall argued. "I'm insane still."

"You are NOT and we both know it."

"Honey, don't you want to come home?" Mrs. Knight asked from the seat beside Kendall. "We miss you."

"No! I'm INSANE, dammit! Don't you see the crazy in my eyes?" Kendall growled.

"That's the point. We DON'T see the 'crazy' in your eyes. Because you aren't mentally unhealthy anymore." Dr. Wilson intercepted.

"Shut UP Mrs. Diamond. God." Kendall snapped.

"Honey, is this because of your nurse?" Mrs. Knight asked gently.

"James? He's MARRIED!"

"His name is Ryan and you know it."

"I'm done with this conversation." Kendall said with finality. "I wanna go back to my room."

Gosh, what were they thinking? Of COURSE Kendall wouldn't leave. Antonio, or "Carlos" had graduated long ago, but still visited frequently. Dr. Turner, or "Logan" made sure to say goodbye to him before leaving work. And Ryan, or "James" was all Kendall thought about lately. Ryan saw their relationship as more of a best friend type thing, but Kendall was still in love with his illusion of the man. Of course Kendall wouldn't leave. He had it made here in the hospital.

* * *

"Mr. Knight?" Came that familiar voice that Kendall had heard every night at the exact same time for the past three years. The voice that made Kendall jump up from the bed in the room he had been transferred to and grin. Ryan was here.

"Hey. Where's my pills?" Kendall asked with confusion.

"I have something to tell you. Sit with me."

So they sat on the uncomfortable bed, Ryan looking serious.

"They've been having me give you sugar pills for the past six months." Ryan said quietly, hazel eyes serious. "And you've been acting fine… And that means you have to go home."

"I'm not leaving you, James."

Ryan looked away, pained. He had accepted Kendall calling him James by now, knew it made Kendall feel better if he was able to.

"You have to." Ryan said seriously. "You're twenty-one. You have so much to do out in the real world."

"But… I love you." Kendall whimpered.

"I love you, too, buddy. But look, we'll get together out in the real world. Okay?"

"But I like for you to take care of me."

"Kendall, I NEED you out in the real world." Ryan said sternly.

"Why?"

"I… I wasn't gonna tell you… But…"

"What?" Kendall asked, suddenly engaged.

"Lydia left me." Ryan whispered, eyes dropping. "I got home last night… All her stuff was gone and there was just a note. A really long and heartfelt one, that basically said she wanted a divorce."

Kendall, not used to the one having to be the comforter, put an arm over James' shoulders sympathetically. Ryan took the lead and stood, pulling Kendall into and embrace as he cried a little.

"Who the hell would divorce YOU?" Kendall asked. "You're- you're perfect."

"She said that there was someone else."

Kendall rubbed Ryan's back as the man trembled in his arms.

"I'm sorry, James. I really am."

"I'm work nights, I should have seen this coming. I'm so STUPID."

"Shut up, James, you're not stupid."

After Ryan had simmered down a little, they sat back down.

"Anyways, I have this big, empty house now. And Kendall, if you agreed to be released, you could move in with me. You're my best friend… And I need you right now."

"I'm your BEST friend?"

"Yeah." Ryan laughed a little. "So what do you say?"

* * *

"This is your room. Sorry, it was my office when I was in college and never cleaned it out." Ryan said, opening the door to a bedroom at the end of the hall the next day. "But I got a bed in there."

"By yourself?"

"Yeah." Ryan smirked before turning and pointing to the bedroom just to the right of Kendall's. "And that's my room. I might move outta there… Haven't slept in there since She left: it's just really painful."

Kendall nodded and Ryan lead him around to show him the kitchen, bathrooms, living room, etc. It was a one-story house, but still really big. It had four bedrooms and two bathrooms.

"We planned on kids…" Ryan explained.

"What happened? You're thirty-one." Kendall said, puzzled.

"I'm… Uh… I'm kinda sterile." Ryan said, embarrassed. "I guess that's part of the reason she left… She wanted kids really bad."

Kendall patted Ryan's shoulder comfortingly and to his surprise, Ryan's arm hooked around his waist and he squeezed.

"James? I," Kendall began, but Ryan interrupted him.

"And you should probably start calling me Ryan." Ryan laughed. "I hope you can still love me the same with a different name. Oh- that rhymed."

"Um,"

"Hey! I know! Let's go get some drinks. You're legal!"

And so it was decided then and there that they would go get drinks. Kendall was excited. He had never LEGALLY drank alcohol before, and this way maybe he'd have some fun.

* * *

Ryan's eyes scanned the strobe lit dance floor, for what? He didn't know.

"This is crazy!" Kendall yelled over the music. Ryan's eyes flashed to him and he favored the younger boy with a dazzling smile.

"You're having fun?"

"Fuck yeah! My gosh! I can say FUCK!"

Ryan laughed and clinked his bottle of beer with Kendall's. They had both had two and this was their third. Ryan couldn't help but think it was ADORABLE the way Kendall was amazed at everything. Well, he hadn't been out of that hospital for three years.

But Ryan hated to think Kendall was adorable. Yeah, he was cute. But he was a kid. A whole ten years younger than Ryan, though someone who didn't know the pair would think they were the same age. And besides… Ryan wasn't gay. AND Kendall was just a friend. Who he had cared for medically for three years now.

Yet, Kendall's couldn't keep his eyes off of those glowing green eyes; the golden hair, chopped short for his safety; the innocent child's smile; the dirty blonde hair above his lip and on his chin, which hadn't been shaved for days. He had never seen Kendall like this- so happy and full of energy and fun.

"You're still bummed, aren't you?" Kendall pouted a little.

"A little."

"Well… Let's dance!" Kendall suggested.

"I don't know how. Lydia tried to teach me, but I never got it."

"I'll teach you." Kendall smiled, jumping up and leaving his empty bottle on the bar. He tugged Ryan to his feet, then to the dance floor with his beer.

"Okay, so don't get uncomfortable. But this is how you and I used to dance together. Well, James and I," Kendall laughed, stunning Ryan by pulling their hips together. He noticed that Kendall hesitated, breath catching, before his hands found their ways to Ryan's hips and guiding the sway. "Yeah. Like that. You've got it!"

"Isn't this how gay guys dance together?" Ryan asked, a little uncomfortable.

"Well, news flash, I AM a gay guy." Kendall laughed.

"Where do I put my hands?" Ryan asked awkwardly, beer bottle in one hand.

"Wherever you want."

Ryan's hands hesitantly went to Kendall's shoulders. That felt uncomfortable, so they moved to his ribs, which was awkward. Kendall didn't notice all this, eyes were closed as he soaked in the music. Ryan smiled a little and his hands guided themselves to the back part of Kendall's pelvis.

"Good choice." Kendall smiled, eyes opening. Ryan didn't want to admit how good the pelvic rubbing and thrusting felt, or how turned-on he found himself as he watched Kendall bite his lip in a smirk.

This was no innocent kid. Kendall was a bit of a sexual beast then, and it stunned Ryan a little bit.

"Anyone ever told you that you're HOT?" Kendall called over the music.

"Only you. Every day." Ryan laughed.

"You're hot." Kendall smiled. "Nurse Ryan."

"I'm not your nurse anymore. But good job on the Ryan part."

"So, since you're not my nurse anymore, does that make it okay for me to…" Kendall smiled, and Ryan realized that the boy's face was tipping up and getting closer, but yet their hips still moved together.

Suddenly the neck of the bottle slipped from Ryan's hand and it crashed to the floor, exploding beer on the backs of Kendall's jeans.

"Shit!" Kendall exclaimed, pulling away from Ryan to inspect his pants.

"Oh- I- I'm sorry." Ryan stammered, wanting to kick himself for being so ready and okay with the kiss.

"It's okay," Kendall dismissed. "Just go get a dustpan and a towel from the bar?"

Ryan nodded and hurried away.

Once the mess was cleaned up, the two decided to go home and try to clean out some of Kendall's room.

* * *

"Look, James- dammit. Ryan, I mean. I'm really, really sorry for trying to kiss you at the club," Kendall said apologetically as he tossed some papers into a recycling bin that Ryan had handed to him. Ryan was sitting at the desk, sorting through college papers and recycling the ones he didn't need. "I know you're not over Lydia and you won't be for a long time and that you're not gay and that I'm WAY younger than you. So I'm sorry for trying to force that on you."

"Maybe… Maybe that's what you need to get over James Diamond and to move on. To kiss me and see that we're not the same guy." Ryan said, whirling over in the spinning chair.

"Are you being serious?" Kendall asked cautiously.

"I am. I mean… Yeah. I'm not gay, but I'm willing to help a friend out."

"Well… Uh… Okay." Kendall got to his knees and looked up at Ryan, still unsure. But Ryan wasn't unsure, as he pushed Kendall's chin up, not roughly, but also not sensually. He pressed his lips to Kendall's without hesitation, and after about three seconds pulled back.

Kendall's eyes were still closed when Ryan pulled away, but he felt Ryan's breath still on his face. It wasn't different from the way James Diamond kissed. Although it was just a fast kiss, and not deep at all, there was still that passion and gentleness there that his James possessed, the passion and gentleness that he would never forget. And the way he kissed was nearly exactly the same, except that Ryan was a little rougher, probably because it was his first with a guy.

Ryan found that kissing Kendall was WAY different than kissing his wife. Her lips were softer and smaller, while Kendall's were hungry, yet gentle and less plump. When he pulled away, he couldn't pull all the way back… He found that he wanted to stay close. For what reason? No idea.

"So… Uh…" Ryan said awkwardly, but already Kendall's hands were on his face, pulling it down to kiss him more. "Kendall-"

But Kendall's kisses came so hungrily now, as he rose, still kissing Ryan, to straddle the man's lap. Ryan found that he couldn't pull away as his lips moved with Kendall's and he found his hands on Kendall's thighs. Kendall's kisses slowly turned from quick and hungry to passionate, like a reunion. Kendall made little whining sounds in his throat here and there.

Finally, after several minutes, Kendall broke away. He looked at Ryan, eyes full of wonder, and his fingers touched Ryan's cheek gently.

"Jamie?"

Ryan shook his head, hazel eyes confused, but Kendall only kissed him again, hips moving over and over on Ryan's lap, making the man want to scream. The boy's lips moved from Ryan's lips to his neck, where he sucked a nice hickey, then kissed gently.

"Do you laugh when you cum?" Kendall whispered. Ryan was silent, trying to decide if Kendall was in a trance or something and thought he was James, until Kendall pulled back and looked his square in the eyes. "Ryan?"

Ryan was stunned. Kendall was making out with HIM and didn't think it was James Diamond.

"Do you… Wanna find out?" Ryan asked a little flirtatiously.

Kendall bit his lip in answer before returning to kissing Ryan's neck. Ryan stood, taking Kendall with him, and practically tossed the blond on the undressed bed.

Kendall knew this wasn't James who was kissing him. This was Nurse Ryan. But it didn't matter. It was James' kiss, James' body, James' touch. But… Even if it WASN'T James to him, if Ryan looked different, Kendall would still feel the same way. Because everything James Diamond said in Kendall's crazy little dream, he got somehow from Ryan. His mannerisms, his voice, his smile, his laugh, his looks, his interests, his pet peeves, his whole personality- it was all Ryan. So… In a way… This WAS James. Plus ten years, a wedding ring, and a college education.

And he was pretty happy with that.

* * *

**Kay, so no I'm not doing another chapter. Let's assume they had fun butt sex, James got divorced, and they lived happily ever after with Logan and Carlos in there somewhere.**

**Sorry if this ending sucked worse than the other one. I just hated the other one and had to make it right. Hope you guys get a chance to read it, I know I haven't updated this story in months.**

**Thanks for reading! I know it was sad, but I tried to make a happy ending.**


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